Don’t forget the Nigerian Nightmare…Before it was a popular online scam it was Christian Okoye of the Kansas City Chiefs. I’m not much of a football fan…uh…go…bucs…but I loved to watch him play.
It’s not just sports. All the stupid celebrity nicknames drive me nuts.
Cheers to Mayonaise! The blandest guy we knew! And Safety Scott, who was the most paranoid person we knew. And Weasel Dan, the well, weaseliest guy we knew.
When I hear that, I think “Officer and a Gentleman”.
“May-O-NAZE”
Anyway, being from Mississippi and growing up near Chicago, I earned, “Cajun Brad”.
I had never even been anywhere near Louisiana or Cajuns, but the name stuck, and I actually kind of enjoyed it.
Sadly, the guy who coined the nickname OD’d on heroin a few years ago. 
In defense of Big Papi, it is a traditional term of endearment/respect in the Dominican Republic (which is where he is was born).
Right, but it still follows along the “Big (word)” lines, and unless there are extenuating circumstances, is evil.
You still can’t beat the British for descriptive nicknames. From a letter to the London Times, dated 6 August, 1977, from Sir Alan Lascelles:
Daniel Gibson of the Cleveland Cav’s nickname is “Boobie”. I assume because he can soar like a bird on the court.
He says his mom called him that, so… probably not.
After Sal “Big Pussy” Bonpensiero, who wanted to even try. I know you hate the “Big” LOUNE.
– Professor Velma
Speaking of which, “Randy Johnson” already sounded too much like a bawdy penis reference in its own right, so turning him into the “Big Unit” only made things all the more blatant.
Why, is his as big as a house?
How about “AK47” the basketball player?
See, that’s a good one. For those that don’t know, “AK47” is Andrei Kirilenko. He’s from Russia. His jersey number also happens to be “47”.
Good nicknames are still around. Most of these guys are better known by their nicknames, not their given name.
William “Smush” Parker, Guard from the LA Lakers.
Covelli “Coco” Crisp from the Boston Red Sox
Martyn “Moochie” Norris from the New Orleans Hornets
Craig “Speedy” Claxton from the Atlanta Hawks
Carnell “Cadillac” Williams from the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.