Killer Swan

A man is dead because of this, and it’s not appropriate to make light of it, but I can’t help thinking – Killer Swan???

Extra-ordinary indeed, but I can’t say it would be impossible. Certainly this is a highly unusual result, but swans (and geese too, for that matter) are large, powerful birds. A blow by a wing to the man’s head could indeed have caused disequilibrium and precipitated him upsetting the canoe. That blow or further blows might have rendered him unconscious, with drowning as the result.

Pond? What happened to lakes?

I liked this comment.

“Lets load up the Rio Grande with swans.”

This happened in Chicago. Around there, it’s hard to justify calling something a “lake”, if you can see the opposite shore.

There were swans in residence on my college campus, and we got regular warnings about them when they were either breeding or nesting or guarding their cygnets (which was basically all the damn time).

The suckers are huge (6 foot wingspan) and strong (can knock a man down and beat him unconscious) and nasty mean territorial fuckers to boot (which means even if you run, they’ll chase your ass down if they can catch you).

About once a year we’d have some dumb clueless student disregard the warnings and the posted signs and try to jog or walk or (god save them) actually get close to the swan nests in a particular area of the lake, and they’d end up visiting the hospital for concussions or arm fractures or severe bruising.

Pretty birds, but damn scary up close.

Having been attacked by a swan once, I can see how this could happen. Imagine a very large and strong cobra, with a beak for a head and a good solid grounding, striking you again and again.

When the beak hit my thigh muscles, they knotted up and I fell to the ground. It never got me in the head, but I can see it might have been stunning. I had huge half-moon welts all over my legs and back.

I was lucky to be on dry ground, and my Grandfather came out with a broom and whacked it with the handle until it backed off. the particular swan that attacked me shared his Florida pond with an alligator, and had successfully raised offspring in that pond for the prior three years. So he was no sissy.

Dude, swans are assholes! :eek:

I always thought they were ornery but generally harmless birds, but maybe I’ll stay away from them from now on…

Swans can be very dangerous. They’ve been known to kill dogs.

I can absolutely see a swan scaring off an alligator. “You want to start with me, Gator? No, I did not think so.”

“Swans are the violent, drunk ex-boyfriend of the bird world,” someone (I wish it were me!) once said.

I went to the Phila. College of Art in the '70s, and there was a central courtyard with some swans in a pond–you had to pass though it to get from one wing (ha) to the other. We had to “cover” each other, as the swans would invariably chase us and try to kill us.

I’m a Chicago suburbanite, and I have gotten closer to coyotes, deer, foxes, and raccoons than I have to swans. Geese can be obnoxious if they don’t want to move (defending the nest), but there is no way I’d get close to a swan intentionally. Swans are just plain mean at times.

Upon reflection, I do think I’d have been fine if I’d had a kayak paddle in my hands. Sounds like he got startled, dunked, and then couldn’t both tread water and defend himself.

Dude got swans to chase off the geese. Now he needs gators to keep the swans in check.

Try and keep up with the class, dear. Gators won’t work. :wink:

I do a lot of kayaking. I don’t much mind being around muskrats, geese, beavers, turtles (though some of the REALLY BIG ONES make me a bit nervous), etc., but I do draw the line at swans. I give them as wide a berth as possible and hope they will leave me in peace.

Poor guy.

I got chased by a swan when I was a kid - about as tall as the swan - and my first thought when I saw this thread (right as the board was shutting down :slight_smile: ) was, “Dude, that’s not actually all that funny.” They, and geese, are Not To Be Fucked With when they’re being territorial about a nest.

Okay, lions, then. Or piranhas. Or something.

I do not mean to call into question anyone’s anecdote, and I am sure that some swans might survive cohabitation with some alligators, at least some times. But while swans are very tough customers above the water, alligators are more than competent below. The gator is an opportunistic ambush predator that might ignore a big, busy bird as long as other alligator food is plentiful. But if the gator gets hungry, an underwater approach, a quick snap of powerful jaws studded with 60 or more thick conical teeth, and the swan is pulled under. Wing buffeting doesn’t work under water, and swan bites would have no effect on an alligator’s bone-reinforced hide. The final result would never be in doubt.

No, of course. Once the fight started I’m sure alligator wins. But it is true, and it was a very small pond, and the swans and signets survived at least three years that I know of.

I believe you. I also believe that it was a highly exceptional case. :slight_smile: