Kinda gross--

Factual Questions
1

(Maybe this belongs in mpsim’s or IMHO, but here goes)

I was listening to Howard Stern yesterday, and he was talking about how he used to have stool problems because he didn’t know how to wipe properly.

My laughing was disrupted by the though, “wait a minute, maybe I really don’t know how to wipe!”

Now I’m all concerned. I didn’t know there was a right or wrong way and I’m all screwed up now.

My Question— What is the approved proper way to wipe your rear after having pooped?

(My MPSIMS QUESTION-- How do you do it? I grab big wads and wipe till nothing comes off)

–Screeme

2

That’s basicly how I was taught. But I believe, that for women, there is a ‘medicaly approved’ way to do it…and that is: “Wipe from the front to the back”. For obvious reasons…so the ‘stuff’ doesn’t get wiped onto that ‘other area’ that is prone to infection.

The safest thing beyond that, in MHO, is a bade[sp].

3

w i p e? Tell me of this “wipe” of which you speak. How do you pronounce it? Does it require liscencing/training/equipment? hmmmm…

4

From The “Collins Canadian Dictionairy”

wipe - v - to rub so as to clean

pronounce it like - “why-p”

Hope the clears it up.

5

Clears it up? no pun intened right? =)

Sorry guys…I honestly didn’t realize the ambiguity of the word ‘wipe’. Is that not used in the US? (Honest question!)
Signed:

Lovingly…the unknowing Canadian . =)

6

Apparantly I have a hard time spelling “Dictionary” correctly though. Doh!

7

From http://www.m-w.com/

8

Thanks dude. =)

9

[paraphrase]
Please, can’t I do this on my own, just this once?

Nonsense~
WIPERS! ::clap-clap::
[/paraphrase]

10

Or, a personal favorite,

" Back In Bowl, Back In Bowl !!! "

:D  Cartooniverse
11

I beleive that would be Eddie Murphy and James Earl Jones in Coming to America.

What do I win???

12

It was easier in the old days. All it took was 2 white corn cobs and 4 brown corn cobs per visit.

  1. Use 2 brown corn cobs.
  2. Use 1 white corn cob.
  3. If white corn cob is no longer white, use 1 more brown corn cob.
  4. Repeat steps 2 and 3 as necessary.

The modern way is not always an improvement…

13

Nothing, as you’ve not got the correct actors listed.

14

Arsenio Hall.

15

Paul Bates in the role of Oha

16

Don’t wipe with poison oak or poison ivy.

Really folks, this one has really been answered here before like three times…

17

well, Handy—

If you can find me the thread, I searched already.

I seriously want to know what the proper method is, if there is one as suggested.

18

That would be Richard Libertini in “All of Me”, with Steve Martin and Lily Tomlin.

19

Screeme, soap & water or you could try aha’s suggestion of using baby wipes.

20

You see Screeme, people smear the stuff up their butt crack. They keep wiping until the paper is clean but there is still that stuff up their butt crack they forget about. So, that causes lines on the underpants. Use soap & water & clean & dry everything.

Thats why I wonder about that show the Big Brother. There was no sink in the toilet room. Therefore, no way any of them could wash.