Ass wiping technique

I can’t remember my toilet training but I have been cleaning myself the same way for many years.

After I poop I fold the paper, hold my sack up, and reach in from the front.

One day I saw (and I won’t explain the circumstances) a man reach around and go in from the rear.

So I’m wondering, how do you clean yourself and why?

Do you go in from the front or the rear, and do you fold or do you wad, and do ladies have their particular reasons for their techniques?

Women generally go from front to back, as the other direction can spread feces to the urerthra and make for wicked UTIs and other infections.

As for me, I’m one of those heathens that stands to wipe. Wasn’t there a thread about this some time ago – standers versus sitters?

And I fold.

Pretend I spelled urethra right. :smack:

Whatever it takes.

Standing vs sitting.

As for me: Sitting, reach-around, right-handed, folded, then wadded, front to back, then back to front. Final pass with a WetWipe for that fresh as a daisy feeling! :smiley:

Since this is basically a poll, I’ll move it to In My Humble Opinion for you.

Cajun Man
for the SDMB

With apologies to Czarcasm and TVeblen.

:eek: Why do you want to know? What a strange poll!

I just rinse off with a garden hose :smiley:

What is this “wiping” of which you speak?

Alright, let me simualte a bathroom expereince here…

OK, after going through the motions, I am a wadding, sitting, left-check leaning, going in from the side, back and forther. By that, I mean I wipe back to front, then front to back a couple times. Grab a second wad of TP and repeat. If there is still…umm…significant “mess” on the TP do a third time.

Most of my life I reached around back, it never occurred to me to go in from the front. It was actually a thread here that made me think of it and now I always wipe from the front.

My $14.95 at work, I guess.

You don’t know how to use the three seashells???

Lean forward, rear attack, keep it away from the guy, and confined to the target area.

D’OH! When I scanned the title just now, I thought it said 'Ass wiping machine. :smack:

I out-source my ass wiping to third world countries. Cheap labor, and really, try and find an American that’ll take an ass-wiping job.

I’ve heard that American service-sector jobs are on the upswing.

Remind me, is the upswing front-to-back, or back-to-front?

I was hoping someone would pick up on that. :smiley:

I guess that would depend on if you’re standing, sitting or leaning forward at the time?

Oh, no we’re not going there again!!!

Being a typical male, I’m all down with coming in from behind.

I use an angle grinder with a polishing wheel and a bar of the green buffing compound. Takes a little practice at first, but the results are worth it.