Kindle Unlimited and the Book that Spammed Me

[stpauler]

Last night I signed up for Kindle Unlimited’s free 30 day trial. It’s very similar to Netflix in that 1) you are only being loaned the titles 2) there are some big names in there like the Harry Potter books 3) the majority is average to crap quality.

This leads me to the book I read last night. Normally $5.99 on Amazon Kindle, it’s now included with Kindle Unlimited. So it’s “free” and really, that’s more than it should have been. The book in question has a lengthy title How to Build Furniture: Learn How You Can Quickly & Easily Build Your Own Furniture The Right Way Even If You’re a Beginner, This New & Simple to Follow Guide Teaches You How Without Failing

As a fledgling woodworker, I’m still learning what’s what in the woodshop. There are tips and tricks I may have missed. And the book was peculiarly short. 16 pages it said.

The book starts off innocuous enough with the boilerplate warning which includes:

This is NOT medical, legal, financial, professional, health advice or a guarantee of any kind and is only an opinion and is for entertainment purposes ONLY and will not actually make you horny.

I guess just talking about getting wood might do that…but ohhhhkay. Maybe the author, Gino Paint, is going to make this entertaining. And boy does he ever! The first topic covered in this multi-topic book is the straight forward “How to Build Furniture”. There’s no foreplay, Gino is getting right to the money shot as the topic is only 3 paragraphs long. The third paragraph is the most sage:

To find the right furniture, you should be able to judge furniture for quality. You may want to look at going to school and taking some courses if you have never made furniture before.

Now I’m wondering how useful this book is going to be if I should go to school to learn what this book was going to teach me. But hey, sometimes people don’t know to go to school to learn about things. In the third topic, we learn what the cryptic title means when it says “MANY DEFECTS TIME HAS ADDED TO ITS FINISH”. Oh time. See what’s become of me. The advice is quite explicit when it says:

A little sanding around the switch holes and on the back and it was all set to go. When you feel like you have everything where you want it, put your drawing away and sleep on it.

So, I slept on it. And went to school. Now I’m ready to buy some lumber and build some furniture! Where will the book now lead me?

You do not always have to go to a gun store to purchase an AR-15. When you get to the fabric store, pull out a yard of fabric and see if that size looks right.

Because if it doesn’t look right, you’ll have your AR-15 in hand to take of things. Go America! Anything else we should know?

Fleas love to hang out with you in your bed

AND ONLY CLICK ON THIS SPOILER IF YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT OAK

Oak furniture is made out of wood from the oak tree.

So while some books on the Kindle Unlimited program are good, there is quite a lot that are sub par. But even more so, I am surprised that Amazon allows this type of spam to be sold. Right now, I’m not sure I’ll keep it after the 30 days unless more publishers opt in and this crap doesn’t get included in the 600,000 book count. (I’ve left a review on Amazon for this book so hopefully no one gets suckered into actually paying for it too.)

And with that, I’ll leave you with this tip “Declawing is not an acceptable option for the beautiful, loving animal that depends on you. A small end or occasional table is always handy to have around.”