That is, the Panzerkampfwagen Tiger Ausf. B ‘Königstiger’ vs the variety of solanum tuberosum, aka the potato.
What would happen if you jammed one of the aforementioned potatoes down each of the King Tiger’s dual exhausts, while it was crewed and running?
Given internal combustion engines generally not doing well with blocked exhausts I’d guess it would stall (unless it built up enough pressure before stalling to dislodge a not well jammed potato.) You then would be in the vicinity of a very irate crew in a very well armed and armored pillbox. Turret traverse is slowed because you lose hydraulics. Otherwise it’s firepower is not diminished. It’s a good time to not be exposed near them. Assuming you don’t have anything more effective than the potato (because why risk a close potato assault if you did) it’s time to run.
Ve are not falling for ze potatoes in ze tailpipe.
Achtung! Kartoffel!
Assuming I was able to make my close potato assault in a stealthy and unnoticed fashion, how long would it take the tankers to know something was wrong?
I do not recommend this as a tactical option.
Data point: I tried this on an old Morris Minor, engine capacity 1 litre. (A small engine) On starting the engine the potato flew down the street like a bullet.
On a big tank engine this would be even less feasible. The pressures involved are such that you would need something a lot more substantial than a potato to block the exhaust.
Great thread title!
The engine in the Tiger II was about 23 liters and pumped out 700HP My guess would be that the potato would attain speeds rivaling the rounds from the the 88mm gun.
Ve haben der King Edvard kartoffel in der tailenpipen!
Deployen der Vallis Simpson turnipen du removen der King Edvard! Schnell!
Would it be cooked by the exhaust gases?
Is that thing leaking oil again? This does not bode well.
Consult the Book of Armaments - Chapter Two, verses 9 - 21: How to defend your tank against assault by infantrymen armed with fresh produce.
The Tiger is an excellent defense against raspberry-armed foes.
Only the outermost part before being shot out into the face of a would be tank-hunter. It would have to bake in the hot gasses for a long time for the internal parts to get cooked.
Mythbusters tried this with a car. Everything that they shoved in the tailpipe just came flying out as soon as the car was started, pretty much like most of the folks in this thread predicted.
If the tank is running, the exhaust pressure will force anything you try to shove in the exhaust pipes back out as soon as they even get close to making a decent seal. You won’t even be able to fully insert a potato (or much of anything else for that matter) while the engine is running. If the engine is off, you can pack both exhaust pipes completely full with your weapons of spud destruction, but they’ll all get blown out of the exhaust as soon as the engine starts. Effectively all you are doing is creating an extremely large and well armored potato gun.
If you can get that close, your best bet is to drop a grenade down the hatch into the inside of the tank. Be forewarned though. The Germans actually made a curved barrel attachment (called a Krummlauf) to their Sturmgewehr assault rifles so that they could shoot anyone climbing onto their tanks or armored vehicles. The bullets tended to fragment as they went around the curve, so it ended up being basically more of a shotgun type effect than an actual bullet, ineffective at a distance, but very good against close range potato packers. They also used the Krummlauf in close quarters urban combat, for shooting around the corners of buildings. Because it was only effective at close range it wasn’t found to be terribly useful in urban combat. But it was really good at keeping the enemy off of the armored vehicles.
Tanks don’t operate alone. They need lots of support people for things like maintenance and fuel, and they are also usually surrounded by infantry so that variously vegetative villains can’t get close enough to wreak havoc on the heavy machinery.
While creative titles are appreciated, I think they should give more of a clue to what the question is than this one did. Title edited to indicate subject.
Colibri
General Questions Moderator
In mid '44, research on German potato-weapons (the infamous V-Kipfler) was still behind allied tech. Our 90mm Russets could cripple a Pz IV at short range while the new M-1 Fingerlings were starting to be issued to front line units on a test basis. However, the Wehrmacht began employing the Kartoffelabwehrgerat to defend against spud attacks. And the Kartoffelkanone was also appearing in increasing numbers.
What about pointed sticks?
Given what it sounds like the odds of actually staying lodged… never. (And how did I miss that episode of Mythbusters:smack: )
Having been on diesel powered armored vehicles you wouldn’t be able to miss the feeling of the engine stopping. Turbines were a different feel but the one time the fuel filters got plugged up I knew when she aborted even before the driver said anything.
Pointed stick? Oh, oh, oh. We want to learn how to defend ourselves against pointed sticks, do we? Getting all high and mighty, eh? Fresh fruit not good enough for you eh? Well I’ll tell you something my lad. When you’re walking home tonight and some homicidal maniac comes after you with a bunch of loganberries, don’t come crying to me!
The only real limitation is that they’re harder to deploy than just “pulling the lever.” But the nice part is that they function both as a tiger (redcurrant defense) and as a more-than-16-ton weight (raspberry defense).
Those versatile German engineers!
Always with the negative waves Moriarty.
