Is there some particular reason we care about his nipples? Does he have three or something? I don’t have cable so I don’t see Big Brother.
He told me it was a nubbin!
I already suggested reading up on what defines a psychosis and applying it to what you hear from Kirk Cameron. Not sure what sort of dissertation you’re expecting, but his dismissal of critical thinking, lack of reasoning or rationality, and failure to research his counterarguments all serve as the underpinnings of his psychosis. People can believe whatever they want to believe, but Kirk Cameron actually attempts to poke holes in established scientific fact which has been exhaustively studied for years using poorly constructed strawman arguments that he comes up with in ten seconds. If your exhaustive research on Kirk Cameron hasn’t led you to believe he’s psychotic, then I don’t know what else to tell you. I don’t need to cite anything, as any search you do on him will provide you with more cites than you could ever need to prove just how out of touch with reality he is.
(Long as I’m on the topic, I thought I’d add to my earlier mention of Cameron’s use of the lack of existence of a “crocoduck” within the fossil record as a means of decrying the theory of evolution. Perhaps he called upon his ever-ready powers of factual dismissal when someone pointed out to him that there are a variety of tetrapods in the fossil record whose webbed flipper feet resembled neither bird nor fish, but were a transitional evolution between the two. Their long flat heads were also pretty interesting in that they were shaped rather like the bill of a duck or platypus, but also happened to be covered in flesh and full of sharp teeth as one would expect to see in a crocodile snout. I guess they didn’t have feathers and make a quacking sound though, so they don’t count as real crocoducks. I know, I know … the real question is: did they have nipples?)
Next thing I’ll be asked to explain why Hitler was psychotic. But come on, I hear you say, Hitler was only propagandizing! How does that make him psychotic? :rolleyes:
As of 2006, 55% of the U.S. public held a creationist view. While I disagree with them, I don’t call them “psychotic” for believing so.
I didn’t call 55% of the U.S. public psychotic. I called Kirk Cameron psychotic. I also accused him of having no nipples … but since I’ve never seen his nipples, much like I’ve never seen God, I have no proof that any of them exists either way. Of course, Kirk Cameron’s nipples might very well exist, and I might even personally believe his nipples exist, but since the evidence isn’t there to prove it, really, how does my belief in him having nipples hold any water if we can’t actually see the nipples for ourselves? I hope this makes sense … the topic of nipples makes some people uncomfortable enough to want to change the subject.
You should consider joining up with The Way Of The Master ministry, Walloon. They love people who try to steer conversations with strawman arguments.
Okay, people. Can we please keep our focus on his nipples? This is Cafe Society. We are interested in aesthetics.
Kittenblue: it is important because it is unanswered, and this is a board dedicated to fighting ignorance. Don’t you think it is odd that of all the teen idols from yesteryear, the only one whose nipples we have never seen is Kirk Cameron? We don’t know whether they are dark brown or pink. We don’t know whether they are dime sized or quarter sized. We don’t know whether they are puffed out or flattened inward or just plain regular. Ask yourself this: what if we knew what we know about Tom Cruise but had never seen his nipples?
I hope that wasn’t directed at me, Liberal … I mentioned nipples no less than seven times in my last post!
Certainly not, Anamnesis. Your contributions have been invaluable. Oh, and to answer the question about Joe on Big Brother:
Possessing extraneous nipples has long been a sign witchfinders used to identify witches. It is therefore imperative to know the number and placement of Kirk’s nipples. For all we know he’s a witch seeking to lead us all down the Path To Eternal Damnation.
Kirk had his nipples surgically removed just prior to his Growing Pains audition because of their tendancy to harden at inappropriate times. I bought them at auction in '87 but failed in my attempt to make any money off them in a Tiger Beat resale. For the last 19 years they’ve been the doorstops on either side of my pantry, although one of them I keep having to move back into place because the cat uses it as a scratching pad.
Because it makes some want to disparage him. His constantly upbeat, Stepford Wife-ish public personality, his views and opinions that are, at least in my opinion, out in left field combined with some of those bizarre animal amalgamations he uses to argue against evolution make for a pretty tempting target. Folks are using hyperbole to villify him.
I don’t really care for the guy either way, that’s just my two cents.
I’m afraid not. The one on NakedMaleCelebrities.com won’t pass muster either. This is a bitch of a thing to try to Google.
I can’t recall- was he always this way, or did he become born again or something? Did he go through a pussy hound who could drink you under the table phase that ended badly?
I almost forgot. No, Kirk Cameron does not have nipples. He’s never had 'em and never will. He is a robot constructed by ABC to be the perfect, parent-friendly, teenage sex-symbol. The Kirk model was far more successful than the Mk. II, Fred Savage, the failure of which brought an early end to the experiment.
The patent was sold years later to the bolder, racier WB network who would use it to create the moderately successful James van der Beek. The technology is now dormant, awaiting a new generation of mass-consuming, vapid pre-teens.
That’s an avenue the consensus long ago abandoned. It can’t be merely an overall prudishness because he has allowed his bare toes to be photographed (see the aforementioned session in the Karate Gee).
I have a “Growing Pains” era Kirk Cameron biography I picked up at a library sale with oodles of information about the dreamy, kissable young star. Did you know that he was named after Captain Kirk of “Star Trek,” and that Kirk (Cameron, not Captain) has never tasted chocolate? It’s true! At least it was true around 1986 or so. He might have tasted it by now.
At any rate, if there’s any definitive source on the state of Kirk Cameron’s nipples, surely it’s the 1986 biography written for his young female fan base. I’ll check it when I get home tonight.
I still stand by my link, dammit! I mean, you didn’t explicitly specify which Kirk Cameron, and as you can see by the cover of that film, that young actor’s name is in fact Kirk Cameron.
Although the juxtposition of the names on the box suggests so, I’m not in fact sure Kirk is one of the actors featured on the cover.
I’ll review the film over the weekend and get back to you on Monday.
Or maybe Tuesday.
Wednesday at the latest.
I want to know if Kirk’s hot hot like Haagen Dasz wife Chelsea Noble has nipples.
Photographic proof only please and thank you.