Kissing the Koala

For today’s heart-warming story, I give you Sir Chompsalot, a koala that was hit by a car and revived by a quick-thinking Aussie wildlife official who gave him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Would you give the “kiss of life” to a koala? I have to admit he’s cuter than some of my past girlfriends.

Well, if you like eucalyptus, how bad could it be?

Speaking of bad – was this the first time that the person shooting that video has ever held a camera?

Glad the koala survived and, yes, I’d do mouth-to-mouth on a koala, but I’m with Finagle. Obviously this was the first time the guy with the camera had ever filmed anything. Most of that video is the helmet of the guy next to the wildlife worker! I wanted to see the cute koala, dammit!

Personally, I don’t believe in rescuing distressed wild animals. Even less so, picking and choosing the “cute” ones and throwing the rest under the bus. If you want to “help” nature, the only way to do it is to let natural law proceed to favor the fittest.

So the koala was healthy enough to climb a tree, so they had to knock it loose, and the fall made it stop breathing? That sounds like a Keystone Cops rescue.

And no, I wouldn’t even want to touch a koala. They smell like eucalyptus that’s been through a digestive tract, and they’ve huge claws.

How is getting hit by a car a part of natural law?

Evolution. We’re teaching koalas and squirrels to instinctively look left and right before crossing roads.

[Pacha]“For the last time, it was not a kiss!”[/Pacha]

Oh, but kiss one male koala…

The hazards of human environmental engineering are pretty much here to stay. What man has created in the environment is, from the standpoint of species that wish to survive, is a part of the new nature that they have to learn to deal with.

Any species that cannot learn to share the earth with humans is going to fail, and they’d better let Darwinian selection weed out those that can’t survive a world of highways and speeding vehicles.

There is a species of frogs that has, for millennia, associated the sound of thunder with impending rain, and when they hear it, they go out and breed. They now breed unsuccessfully in impossibly arid conditions, when they hear jet aircraft flying over, and no longer have a reliable way of anticipating necessary rainfall. What is the point of trying to save them, if they cannot learn to survive alongside humans in an altered habitat? Not to mention those that get squished under the wheels of cars.

Don’t worry, a few million years after man becomes extinct, the world will again be nicely speciated, with every niche filled and humming along

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By this logic, why not let “man” decide that cuteness is a factor? They’re sharing the earth with us, by golly, so let’s favor the cute ones! We’re already mucking up the works a real treat, let’s at least have good looking animals around for company.

Sure I’m Koalafied.

I believe in Australia you should look right and then left.

This IS favoring the fittest. Cuteness is obviously beneficial for survival, when we humans are involved. If we keep favoring the cutest animals, animals will keep getting cuter, reaching heretofore unknown cuteness levels. I can’t wait!

I’m pretty sure it was a helmet cam of some type and was just pointing wherever he/she was looking.

I’m betting you’re a ton of fun on a date.

I cuddle up and watch chick flicks. There’s a time and a place for everything.

What, is that some new euphamism for cunnilingus?


No, that’s not what happened. The koala was struck by a vehicle, but managed to climb up into a tree, where it stopped breathing. The firefighters were able to dislodge it from the tree, and the rescuers caught it in a blanket. However, it was not breathing, so they performed CPR including rescue breathing.

Not this guy?


Heavens no- they can be quite savage.