I don’t remember lyrics myself, but looking through those sites, my favorite was Deep Purple’s “Smoke on the Water” heard as:
Slow-motion Walter, dat fire-engine guy.
da da daaaa … da da de daaaaa (cracks me up everytime I hear the real thing, can’t get Walter out of my head).
Well, when I was young, I thought the chorus to “Blinded by the light” was “wrapped up like a doofus and a roller in the night”. Then I hit puberty and started hearing “wrapped up like a douche…” just like everybody else. I have misheard a lot of song lyrics in my day, some of which I have shared in previous threads. Unfortunately, I can never dredge up very many at one time. I don’t think I’ve ever shared any of these particular ones before, though. For example, who can forget the immortal Red Hot Chili Peppers song:
What I got you got to give it to your mama!
What I got you got to give it to your papa!
What I got you got to give it to your dog…
This one isn’t mine, but my sister’s. It’s the Doors’ classic…
Ya know the day destroys the night, ninety times a day…
The first time I heard the Cure’s “The Caterpillar”, I thought Robert Smith was singing:
Flicker flicker flicker flicker flicker flicker flicker flicker here you are
Ketcha ketcha ketcha ketcha ketcha ketcha ketcha ketcha ketchup in a gun…
Does anyone know the late Kurt Cobain’s political affiliation? I do. He explains it in the lyrics of “Lithium”:
I like you, I’m a Democrat, I miss you, I’m a Democrat, I love you, I’m a Democrat, I kill you, I’m a Democrat…
And I know I mentioned this one in a previous thread, but my family still hasn’t let me live it down after all these years. Hit it, Paul…
Mama don’t take my chromosomes
Mama don’t take my chromosomes
Mama don’t take my chromosomes awaaaa-aaay!
Mama don’t take my chromosomes
If you need to barf then barf at home
Mama don’t take my chromosomes awaaaa-aaay!
I have so many more of these, and I’ll probably be popping in here several more times when I remember another one. So I’d just like to close by saying that I have no idea what Gavin Rossdale is singing in the bridge of “Glycerine”, but it sure sounds like “bamboo watergun”, doesn’t it?
Creedence songs… I’ve always heard “There’s a bad moon on the rise” as “There’s a bathroom on the right.”
The other one is from “Down on the Corner” when he says “You don’t need a penny just to hang around.” I’ve always heard it as “You don’t need a pinhead just to hang around…”
-S
My dad came home one night and demanded I get a copy of “that song about the guy with 400 kids and a crop in the field.” What he wanted was Kenny Rogers “Lucille.” I got the single, still have the single and it still makes me crack up!
Ya know, I’m not sure to this day what the real lyric is…
There’s a Phil Collins song that I always thought went:
She seems to have an a-physical infliction…
I saw him son some show and there was something about, “Invisible Touch…” I have no idea. But I laugh every time I hear that song. 
The chorus for The Rolling Stones’ Beast of Burden
*I’ll never be, Your Pizza Burnin’ *
I heard it right the first time, but after a DJ said the wrong lyrics, I can’t listen to it without smiling.
See some of those are possible… but when i looked on that website, there are some entries that no one could have heard that way, that people just posted to try to be funny… it smacks of junior high students posting there.
However some are pretty close…
I had a girlfriend once, who’s mom swore that the song “blister in the sun” by the violent femmes had the line “dick hands, i know you’re the one…”
“life is like a rodeo, the trick is to ride, naked to the fair” instead of “make it to the bell” later, Tom
DRY wrote:
Maybe it’s the New Yorker in me, but I always thought she was saying “Last night I dreamt of a bagel.”
cue The Ramones:
“Twenty-twenty-twenty-four hours a day,
I want a piece o’ date bread.”
Stayin Alive, Bee Gees
“You can tell by the way I use my walk …”
I heard,
“You can tell, by the way, I’m Luke Skywalker …”
From “Send in the Clowns”
Real lyric: Don’t you love farce, my fault I fear.
Heard as: Don’t you love farts, my fart I fear.
This is always my favorite, Marshall Tucker Band:
Purdy little love song, can’t wrong.
Instead of the correct lyric:
Heard it in a love song, can’t be wrong.
Of course, I just found out what the hell they were saying in Red Hot Chili Peppers’ song Scar Tissue this week. I’d like to say I had some funny one’s made up in place of With the birds I’ll share this lonely view, but in truth I had no idea what he was saying.
Hilarious!!!
One of my favorite songs!
There was an oldie from the 60’s by the Honeycombs called Want Ad.
They sing of putting an ad in the paper for a new guy:
Wanted, young man single and free
experience in love preferred, but we’ll accept if your Chinese
Or so I’d always thought. After many years, I realized it was trainees not Chinese. I always wondered what was wrong with Chinese guys…
Also in the book, someone thought ALmost Paradise was all those parrot eyes!
Ceejaytee:
My wife always heard that lyric as “last night I dreamed of salt bagels…”
That’s too funny! I love that song and I always hear “Bad moon, right again”. No idea what the real words are.
My worst one is in John Mellencamp’s Jack & Diane (I think). He says “Do your best James DEAN” but for some very weird reason, I always thought it was “Do your best James TAYLOR”! I sang it out loud in front of my best friend and she about peed her pants. All she could say was, “Why would anybody be trying be cool by doing a James Taylor impression?”
A few years back Salt-n-Peppa had a song called “Push It”.
Actual:
Ah, push it, push it good
Ah, push it, push it real good
What I thought:
Ah, pussy, pussy good
Ah, pussy, pussy real good
About the same time, B-52’s Love Shack
Actual:
Tin roof, rusted
What I thought:
Ten months, pregnant
Close. I’m almost positive that it’s “Bad moon, white again.”
But, really, no matter what you put in there it doesn’t make any sense.
In Creed’s new song, “Higher”, the chorus goes something like this:
Can you take me higher?/To a place where blind men see/Can you take me higher?/To a place with golden streets.
My brother sings it like this:
Can you take me higher?/To a place with lima beans/Can you take me higher?/To a place with golden streams.
When I corrected him he said that he had always wondered why they were singing about beans and peeing. LMAO!! I still say lima beans whenever I hear that song.
** Trouble Again, ** I thought the same thing about ‘Blinded By The Light’ though, I never did figure what a douche bag had to do with a ‘rooner in the night’ My son had to set me straight on that song before I’d believe it was anything different.
He also cracked up when I was singing along with Meatloaf’s ‘Bat Out of Hell’ song ‘If I wanna dance, I wanna dance with you.’ DJ started laughing and said, 'Mom, it’s “if I want to be DAMNED, I want to be damned with you”, why do you think he calls it ‘Bat out of Hell’ for?? Hmmmm, I figured he wanted to dance REALLY fast!! :rolleyes:
I thought it was, “bad moon wiii-re” but I could be wrong.
I don’t know if anything else will think this is funny, but about 5 years ago a song came out called “If I Ruled The World” by Naz featuring Lauryn Hill. Well the real chorus goes:
“If I ruled the world, I’d free all my sons/black diamonds and pearls”
My friend at the time heard: “If I ruled the world, I’d free all my sons/black times are the worst”
which didn’t make sense because it is basically a black power song. I still laugh when I hear that song.