Kitchen Cleanliness (long, somewhat rambling)

The BBQ Pit
1

Let me begin with a little detail on our household. There are five of us full-time: Ms. D_Odds, D_Odds-In-Laws, D_Odds stepdaughter, and me. Additionally, D_Odds son (a very finicky eater – thanks Mom) is there on most weekends.

On weekends, I am the chef (a rather good one, both sides of the family keep telling me). During the week, the In-Laws (retired) handle the cooking. That’s fine by me as (i) I work the longest hours in the house and (ii) I don’t like to eat late dinners; I’d rather something very light and have a big breakfast. Additionally, the Dad-In-Law (DIL) is on a very restricted diet, and lastly, they cook a fairly unappetizing (to my admittedly Western palate) mix of Filipino foods (the only time they break out the good stuff is during family gatherings, and even then, thanks to the diet, it’s bland).

Now that I’ve laid the groundwork, my rant is in two parts. Part I is about cleanliness. I am no neat-freak, but I simply cannot work in a dirty kitchen on dirty counters with a dirty sink. Additionally, I keep my pots and pans pristine. (I’d keep two sets if we had the room, but that’s another rant all by itself) This includes the exterior, necessary for maintaining evenly distributed heat. Every Saturday, I have to spend, at a minimum, ninety minutes scrubbing the stovetop, taking care of all the counters, the sink, sweeping up, etc, before I can begin cooking. This week, there was a thick layer of greasy grime over the whole stove, and at three of the four burners were victims of boilovers (which seems to be a popular cooking method in my household) that were just left there to evaporate and harden. The counter behind the stove was covered in crumbs. On the rare occasion they do wipe something down, heaven forbid they move something to get under or around it. DIL is the main perp; I am told that he was always the slob in his family, and his deteriorating health has made things much worse. But even when he was better, his attitude was simply for everyone else to clean up after him. MIL, who recently retired to care for DIL, is not much better. I gave her the benefit of the doubt when she was working, as she wasn’t cooking or occupying the kitchen. Now she is, and if anything, it’s getting worse.

Part II is somewhat related; it’s about food storage – or the lack of. Even Ms. D_Odds bears the some of this. How this family has not died from food poisoning is beyond me (actually, it isn’t as their definition of rare is my definition of well-done). Meat will be left out for two days. Seafood like crabs and clams will just be stuck into the refrigerator, poorly and occasionally not wrapped. They will open a package of supermarket meat, use half, and then simply stick the open package into the freezer. I seem to be the only one with eyes; if anything is left outside the refrigerator, no one will put it back. Making sure leftovers are wrapped and sealed completely is a foreign concept. Every time I enter the kitchen, there’s open food. I’ve no idea how we’ve avoided an ant problem, and it’s unfortunate we have. It gives them a reason to keep doing as they have (“we’ve always done it this way and we’ve never had a problem” – that’s what people who smoke in bed say – it only takes once). All this, and they wonder why I’m hesitant to eat any food unless I’ve been in charge of it.

Anyway, I rant to Ms. D_Odds all the time, but we really can’t change her old man (and I empathize – my old man is almost as stubborn and set in his ways as hers). Her siblings consider me a saint for putting up with their admittedly difficult father. Personally, Ms. D_Odds and my stepdaughter more than make up for the aggravations; still I needed to rant somewhere, as I’ve banged my head into this wall so many times I’ve put a hole in it. [P.S. to any who might say, “move out” – it’s Ms. D_Odds and my house]

2

If you’re just venting, fine.

If you’re seriously fed up, it is your house. They are damaging your property. Charge them for it. Set up basic rules and standards and be either the parent or the landlord, depending on personal preferance. (Either make up a chore chart or charge them for the time it takes you to repair their damage.)

Admittedly, I’m a slob when it comes to my stuff, but workspaces need to be clean to a minimum standard. (Some people are excessive neat niks, but with food the safety involved makes a pretty high bar acceptable.)

3

Another slob checking in who finds this unacceptable. That’s just disgusting. I may not be the neatest person in the world, but what the HELL?

Tell them if they keep on doing it, they can get the hell out, eat somewhere else, or not cook.

4

I’m just venting. Even if I weren’t, the idea wouldn’t pass Ms. D_Odds muster. It’s family, and not just any family, but her parents - gotta take the good with the bad.

5

Easier said than done. In the years since I’ve met him, his already poor health has spiraled down (as have his bad habits). He’s diabetic, has had dual kidney failure, cannot walk for any type of distance even with a walker, and cannot drive. He’s recently back from an extended hospital stay. Neither in-law has any sort of pension plan to draw upon, and are reliant on social security, other gov’t programs, Ms. D_Odds and me. Assisted living would be nice if we could get all the siblings to commit to paying equal amounts of the costs, and MIL to sign off (which would be greatly against the wishes of DIL). However, as they don’t deal with the day-to-day problems, they don’t see the need (that’s been an argument btw Ms. D_Odds and them on several occassions), and, of course, they don’t want to see Daddy in a nursing home. Only her older brother is in any type of situation to take on the responsibility (younger brother has his in-laws in house, younger sister lives in a NYC apartment, which most would consider a walk-in closet). Even if older brother was willing, his house is smaller and doesn’t have the room for them. Kicking them out is not an option. We’ve explored maid service, but we really can’t afford it. [Before they emigrated from the Phillipines, they had maid service, which might have something to do with the belief that someone will pick up after them. It’s extraordinarily cheap over there, but you get what you pay for. One of their maids burned down their house trying to cover up her theft - but still Ms. D_Odds wonders why I won’t work with a professional, insured service. That was the most extreme problem they had, but not the only.]

Some might think it cruel to look at it this way, but it’s really a waiting game at this point. He’s had two very close-calls in the past year (he only survived the last one because Ms. D_Odds took off from work that day), and if MIL isn’t watching, he’ll cheat on his diet at every opportunity - which is what causes the close calls. I understand him here (and hope in 40 years I feel the same) - if all I had left to enjoy was a good meal, but it would kill me, then feed me. No use in sticking around if you can’t enjoy anything.

6

actually the unwrapped meat in the freezer shouldn’t pose any sort of microbial threat. Same with uncovered stuff in the fridge… Remember bacteria is heavier than air, so it falls:)

Just keep that nice raw pork chop at the very bottom (right above the veggie crisper) and you’re money. (this is me being bitter about crispers at the bottom of the fridge)

7

D_Odds, are you the only one in the house capable of cleaing the kitchen? It sounds to me like you have three other pairs of hands that can pick up a dishrag and wipe a counter once in awhile other than yourself or your FIL. A clean kitchen is not just a nicety; it is essential to keeping a family healthy. This is the place you prepare all the food that you EAT, for heaven’s sake. I’m getting the heebie-jeebies just thinking about the crusty stove and the seafood left out on the counter. Not to mention how it must SMELL! And the bugs…gaaah