Knitters, What's the Most Bizarre Thing You've Ever Knitted or Wanted to Knit?

In a few weeks, I’m going to be doing a program on knitting at Western Pennsylvania Mensa’s annual Regional Gathering. The theme of the thing is “Creative Mayhem” and the reason I jumped in is I finally found a pattern for knit teacups. Since then, in the latest issue of Interweave Knits, I’ve also found a pattern for a knit chair, and I once knitted doughnuts for coworkers.

Since the general idea of the program is to take knitting beyond sweaters and baby booties, I’d like to hear about the oddest thing you’ve knitted, and the oddest thing you’ve seen but haven’t gotten around to knitting yet. Yes, projects started but not finished count! I’ll be bringing several odds and ends, including my Elizabethan Ugly Socks and the Pi Shawl of Doom!, which got it’s name because, when I finish it, our ownPolycarp must die, or so the running joke goes. :wink:

As far as I’m concerned, no idea is to bizarre, no project to twisted, and yes, I want links and pictures! :smiley: Knowing you lot, I may be on the edge of Things Man Was Not Meant to Know, but what can I say? I like to live dangerously.


I haven’t knitted this yet but I so want to.
Elvis Knitted Wig

A certain relative, who will not be named Grandmama one year thought it funny to knit for father’s day, anatomically correct athletic supporters.
:rolleyes: :dubious: :frowning: :eek: :smiley:

I’ve never knit anything truly bizarre (nor have I ever wanted to). I’m very tame that way. I tend to get into playing with texture and number. I do a lot of screwing around with fibonnacci sequences, interlocking polygons, weird cabling ideas… but it ends up being put on a sweater, afghan, bag, or pillow. The closest to “weird” I’ve ever done is a mobius strip (knit from the center to the edge) and everyone does those.

I do want to try a klein bottle.

The most bizarre pattern that I’ve ever heard of is an anatomically correct bodypart puppet for use in sex-ed classes. I know the pattern is out there and commercially available.

I don’t knit, personally (not that there’s anything wrong with that), but I’ve got a friend who knits robots.

I asked her if she’d knit a robot that was itself knitting an afghan made from erector set pieces, because that would just blow my mind.

I knit hats, each one unique, and some of them are pretty bizarre pieces of head sculpture.

I started knitting a picture once; the Mona Lisa. Using like 30 colors. Didn’t get very far; I want to try it again sometime.

I knitted an elephant once, long time ago. Have no idea where it ended up.

I think I’m going to knit this tea set for my pre-school stepdaughter for Christmas:
Fiesta Tea Set

My own small cretion: a Knitted Toy Leash from a scrap of self-patterning sock yarn and two sets of snaps:
Picture 1
Picture 2

The idea is to attach the toy to the stroller, so that when the child throws the toy overboard, it doesn’t fall on the ground and get dirty or lost. I make it just long enough for the child to play with, so that a. it doesn’t drag on the ground when thrown out, and b. the child can’t get it wrapped around their neck.

I’m also knitting an octopus (from this book) for the same stepdaughter. She got to pick it for her 4th birthday.

You guys, I’m just in the process of designing some hats to sell this fall; this thread has me TOTALLY inspired. I cannot thank you enough. Will report back.

I knitted my best guy friend a (ladies’) thong for Christmas last year. In camouflage yarn. He’s not into wearing ladies’ undies or anything; he was just decorating his dorm room with . . . um, underwear. (That looks much stranger typed than it sounds when I say it out loud.)

Last year for Christmas, I knitted my grandparents an antler-less reindeer. Its head is so enormous, it can’t sit upright.

Anyway, for Christmas this year, I’m knitting my girlfriends eyemasks and my guy friends penis warmers. I think. They might end up with mittens. I’m planning on lining the eyemasks and filling them with flaxseed, as that’s the best thing ever for PMS headaches.

Except for the best guy friend – he’s getting a white men’s thong with lavender and silver flowers embroidered on it. Bwah ha ha. He’s expecting another one to add to the decor of his dorm room. I can’t wait to see his face when he sees the “fruit basket” in the front.

I’m also planning on tracking down some wool yarn and knitting my sister a catbed and felting it in the washing machine. I’m having tons of trouble finding any, though, since all anyone carries around here is acrylic afghan weight yarn. My sister is also getting a purse knitted out of ripped tulle, a la one I saw on a recent episode of Knitty Gritty on the DIY channel.

I suddenly have the burning urge to knit robots for my little cousins, though. Those robots rock, Sol Grundy.

I know someone who’s always wanted a vest knitted out of copper telephone (+/- 22 gauge) wire. I thought it would make a great gift & contracted the job to the only elderly lady I know who knits. A week after we agreed on a price, her daughter called and told me to cancel my order and apologize to her for expecting her to such a physically demanding job. I honored her wishes - but an still in the market for such a product. Any takers?

I’ve knitted copper wire before.

You supply the wire and $10 an hour, I’ll make you a vest.

which reminds me: i knitted a vase out of saran wrap once.

I seriously have, percolating in my evil little brain, a design for a Cthulhu balaclava, with tentacles and everything.

Plus I want to knit supervenusfreak a thong someday. (Yes, I know about the pattern at…) :slight_smile:

I have made a thong out of silver chainmail.

If I could knit, I would knit some of those robots. They are beyond cool. Presents for my cousins! (as well as five or six for me)

I knit a chicken hat once. I was thinking of it as the sort of thing the priestess of the Chicken Goddess would wear when making sacrifices.

It looked a lot like Henrietta on my website, (knitted birds and animals) with two chicks peaking out of either side of the face flaps.


The best part was that I wore it for Halloween, and a friend, totally free-associating and not thinking, saw me with a chicken on my head, and said, “Merrily got laid!” and then turned bright red when he realized what he said.

I later told this story at my knitting guild meeting, and brought the meeting to a complete halt.

The knitted teacups are probably Debbie New’s patterns, and can be found in her book, Unexpected Knitting. Now, there is a lady with ideas!

Swan Doily. I think these look so cool, but my brain hurts just thinking about the pattern.


Someone I know received a knit sweater made to fit his penis and scrotum as a going-away present when he moved to Minnesota.

There’s a thong pattern in the current issue of Knitty magazine ( knitted from red ropes.

I haven’t knitted it, but I bet it would be fun.