You’re tired… I lost the hot dog 4 bars ago!!
Twenty bucks, same as in town.
No you idiot, I said REGINA! (a tribute to our friends up North.)
You know what I want - take it off and throw it up here!
She opened the door and he kicked her in the stomach.
“Shoot the dog! Shoot the dog!”
“Yeah, but this one’s eating my popcorn!”
“I was just checking for hornets’ nests!”
But I’m going as fast as I can!
(First dirty joke I ever heard - had to be 1955)
“Bent it? I damn near broke it!”
“And I didn’t wish for a 12-inch pianist either.”
…JohnnyDigits (Not familiar with that one? Write your own joke and post it here!)
Everbody did!
OOPs! Everybody did!
We’re ALL going to Denver!
Rectum? I damn near broke 'em!
So a guy will have some place to put his beer!
“Damn! Now I’ll never get that smell out of the fish!”
“All of them.”
We’re ALL going to Denver!
Rectum? I damn near broke 'em!
So a guy will have some place to put his beer!
“Damn! Now I’ll never get that smell out of the fish!”
“All of them.”
-
“Hey, that’s not my bellybotton!” “That’s okay, that not my finger, either.”
-
So it doesn’t poke an eye out.
“… and now its growing wild on the beach.”
“Turn her over, I want a puppy.”
I heard you’re writing a book.
Well kiss my ass and make it a love story.
I just realized I left out part of the punch line. So, here we have it again, this time in its completion:
“You only get laid once, you only get eaten once, it takes you ten minutes to get hard, three minutes to get soft, and only your mother will sit on your face.”
Is that you, Bubba?
My wife, my best friend, and my mistress!
Move over, gals… gotta gargle.
“Ernie, you’ve been munching grass for an hour!”
“…where’s my cookie…WHAM!”
“I never asked him for a 12 inch pianist!”
“twenty mins. of waiting for a 4 min. ride.”
“she puts down her nail file.”
“his penis was gone, his knee was broke, and he had no heath insurance.”
‘It looked so good, I ate it myself’.
Some of the punchlines have got me stumped - no that’s not another punchline - so please can you tell me the joke as well!