**JUST THE PUNCH LINE[/]
…Now she’s making money on the side.
…Only enough to win.
…Saskatchewan.
…$100, same as in town.
…First help me find the truck I came in on.
“…I don’t know, but my ass is killing me!”
Only one I know is the second- “Not all of it mama, just enough to win”.
IIRC, that one came from Gene Tracy on an old “truck stop” tape.
-“Oh, just a little at first.”
-“What, and give up show business?!”
–Calredic
Crunchbird my ass!
Thanks, the others usually leave her swinging.
“…In theory, We’re sitting on a gold mine–In reality, we live with a coupla whores…”
“Naw, I don’t wanna screw you. I just want you to meet some folks.”
“Now aren’t you sorry you had me neutered?”
“I dunno. I don’t think I’d be able to get up off the floor.”
“Whatsa matter, don’t you want to get pregnant?”
“You’re 34 years old and you still believe in leprechauns?”
“…so I’ve been putting my nose in her armpit.”
“I didn’t say you could MOVE!”
Well, it didn’t hurt; I kept my fingers from coming between the bricks.
Because it was all in one strand.
…You didn’t come here to hunt, did you?
Then put me back in the mud.
Y’know, most of the guys just rides 'er into town."
Sure, just don’t hit me as hard as you did the monkey!
How do you think I rang the doorbell?
No, the guy before you was…
“If only Princess Margaret were here, we might have saved the Bentley. . .”
“Turn her over!”
“Ernie—get off my back!”
“What’s the matter—ain’t ya got a vase?”
“Ping-Pong balls? I thought you said King Kong’s balls!”
Yucky:
“So when they get drunk you can carry them home like a six-pack” (think about it).
Funny as hell:
“Ping-pong balls? I thought you said ‘King Kong’s balls!’”
Damn simul-post! 
Notthemama, I’m still wondering about that neutered joke…well?
…Because it circles Uranus, wiping out Klingons.
“Because Tuesday’s your day in the barrel.”
“I just bet the guy in back five hundred dollars that I could piss all over your bar and you’d laugh about it.”
“It takes you ten minutes to get hard, three minutes to get soft, and only your mother will sit on your face.”
Swim.