Give me a sharp Provolone or Parmigiano Reggiano or Grana Padano or a nice Mozzarella cheese any day. Or a good longhorn cheddar. Anything with some BITE to it. Not that soft wimpy preprocessed supermarket crap, the real stuff.
Indeed. Fish is gross. Do the calculations of available fish per person in the world, narrow down my personal portion, and send it Somalia, North Korea, or another under-fed country chosen at random. Good riddance, I say.
Why do you hate America?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Send food to the pirates and the commies?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
The terrorists have won!!!
OUTLANDER!!!
More exclamations to follow
!!!1111111111oneoneone
If you really want to cut the cheese, go for Colby. Pure American as it was created in Colby, Wisconsin.
We could really go for cultural wars if we want to include Coon cheese (once owned by Kraft), Vegemite (still owned by Kraft), Häagen-Dazs (Danish for ‘Made in New Jersey’*), and Grey Poupon (Kraft).
And then there’s Canadian bacon!
- Internet joke. About the name. Not New Jersey.
Cheese is multi-national and multi cultural. There is something for everyone.
You’ve got your American cheese, Swiss cheese, cheese Kurds, cottage cheese for the rural areas, Philadelphia cheese for the city, Parmesan cheese for parameciums, Provalone for those in favor of valone, blue cheese for the depressed, head cheese for drunk coeds, nacho cheese or ‘cheese that is not yours’, Romano or ‘bad sit-com’ cheese…
I could go on.
Brilliant 
Because of America’s nefarious plot to dominate the world through cheese-related imperialism, duh!
You know too much. (ominous stare)
I thought nacho cheese was made for guys named Ignacio.
Kraft Singles are what they are- good for putting on your mircowaved bacon/egg/cheese, slapping on a burger in the summertime, making a grilled cheese.
If your OP had read along the lines of “Kraft, why are you claiming that your product is better than it actually is?” I’d be with you. Hell, even Boone’s Farm doesn’t pretend it’s the perfect complement to a rare steak.
But no, you wrote this:
Seriously, STFU, you fucking hipster. You’re sooo worldly. We get it. Don’t you have a Fellini film to go watch?
If you’ve hit the “Amerika is teh AYVIL!!!twenty-five!!!” stage, seriously, pick the opposition to universal healthcare, or the refusal to sign Kyoto, or the mentally ill people on the street because there are too few beds, or Cialis research, or something that actually has a position that’s nominally defensible (provided you don’t do too much research)… but Kraft cheez?
Sweet goodness, man, there are plenty of knee-jerk anti-Americanisms out of which you can get much more mileage AND hippie-chick ass. This ain’t one of them.
Nachos were first CREATED by a guy named Ignacio, as a desperation move when some people came into the restaurant and they didn’t have much else to offer. Ignacio Anaya - Wikipedia
“Häagen-Dazs” is clearly Gibberish in origin.
you take that back!
Eta: Goddammit! I want my shouting back!
ETA: WHAT KIND OF COMMIE BOARD IS THIS THAT TAKES AWAY A PRIVATE CITIZEN’S RIGHT TO SHOUT ON THE INTERNET?
Some days I start to get tired of this message board. This ain’t one of them.
This brings us to an important question: why is Emmental cheese always called Swiss in the US? There are hundreds of types of cheese unique to Switzerland (and Emmental is also produced in France and Germany).
Clearly a nation of Kraft Singles-eaters is either incapable or unwilling to make fine distinctions, say, between France and Germany.
Germany - one of them furrin places we bombed the shit out of.
France - one of them furrin places we should have bombed the shit out of.
Velveeta Forever!
Remember, if you believe in cheeses, you will be saved.
Ok, I will probably go to hell for that.
All this reminded me of an exchange from Mystery Science 3000:
Joel had to remove the American cheese out of Crow’s throat.
Joel: Crow, I’ve told you not to eat cheese.
Crow: It was American cheese, I thought I’d be fine.
I don’t care if it rains or freezes,
long as I got my plastic cheeses
ridin’ on the dashboard of my car