Kronk's New Groove Sucks

Cafe Society
1

After last week’s Kronk love-fest I was all primed for a fun-filled afternoon after my wife gave me Kronk’s New Groove for Christmas.

Oh, what a disappointment! The entire creative team behind this steaming pile of crap should be be demoted to busing tables at California Adventure. The artwork is decent enough (about what you’d expect for a direct-to-video Disney cartoon) but the story and the dialog are garbage.

Gone is the manic loopiness of the original. Gone is the rapid-fire snarkiness. Gone is the surreal juxtaposition of the modern and the primitive. Every little bit of jokey weirdness from the first movie is recycled and made mundane. For example, about a third of the movie features Kronk working as a scoutmaster at a summer camp. Hello!? The scoutmaster joke was funny the first time around because it was an unexpected throwaway, a random out-of-leftfield bit of modern culture forcing itself into pre-Columbian Peru. Once you make it NORMAL it ceases to be FUNNY.

Worse, the entire movie is drowning in syrupy glurge. The “story” actually revolves around Kronk trying to win the respect of his father! This is played totally straight, with the heartfelt cliches mechanically ticking past one by one. We learn that friendship is more important that riches, and that you have to be true to yourself, and you’re only as old as you feel. Kronk even has a touching moment with Bucky(!?), played totally irony-free. It is to barf.

The dialog is atrocious. Long-winded and derivative, it works very hard to accomplish nothing. Most of it is horribly “on the nose” with character after character baldly declaring how they feel. The jokes are either tired retreads of funny bits from the original or poorly choreographed slapstick. Even my kids got bored with it.

Avoid at all costs.

2

Well, DUH! :rolleyes:

Only thing good that came of of Disney in the last 10 years was Kim Possible, & they tried to kill it!

3

I just got done watching it, and I have to agree. It was pretty tedious.

4

I could have made that post 10 years ago switching Alladin with Kronk. I learned my lesson well.

5

Another victim of the thread linked to in the OP, which I wish I’d seen 24 hours ago. “Hey–the video store’s open! I had no idea they stayed open on Christmas. Let’s see… what have I been wanting to check out…?”

**Kronk’s New Groove ** is unfortunate. Judged on its own merits it’s limp at best, but in comparison to its excellently comic predecessor it comes across as doubly sad. **The Emperor’s New Groove ** impressed me as possibly approaching the sort of thing that Termite Terrace might have come up with in 1958 or thereabouts if Warner Bros. had ever decided to step up and go toe to toe with Disney at that point-- meticulously timed comedy, sarcastic irreverence, random pop culture references, etc…

**Kronk’s New Groove ** reminds me more of the Warner’s television shorts from the late '60s with Daffy Duck battling Speedy Gonzales–or perhaps more appropriately, the feature-length ‘movies’ that Warners eventually cobbled together out of cannibalized shorts and atrocious ‘filler’ animation. There are two entirely separate plot threads, set up one right after the other, with no attempt whatsoever to integrate them. And I use the word ‘plot’ advisedly here, with an eye toward its alternate meaning as ‘gravesite.’ It’s like somebody wanted to cram as many sitcom cliches as possible into a single feature. You’ve got your ‘flashback sequence’ (a couple of them nested, actually), your ‘relative coming to visit’ plot, your ‘snake oil’ plot, your ‘honesty is the best policy’ and ‘friendship is more precious than gold’ homilies, and yes, they manage to drag out the old ‘but-- you’re a girl!’ chestnut that was ancient before The Andy Griffith Show was canceled. And if I ever, *ever * have to contemplate the idea of John Goodman in drag again, animated or otherwise, the rivers will run red with blood.

I don’t have much familiarity with Disney’s ‘direct to video’ animated sequels; do all of them exhibit this lack of pride and craftsmanship? This one certainly makes me appreciate the care and skill that went into the original that much more. I wonder if this movie’s shortcomings might in part be a reflection of the dissolution of Disney’s traditional feature animation department. I wasn’t expecting film-quality animation, mind you, but I was hoping for a modicum of wit at least.

And they managed to assemble pretty much all the original voice cast, too. Except for Tom Jones’ character, of course, who has apparently undergone some lifestyle changes. The movie could have been at least passably good with only a marginal effort on their part. I am depressed, and a DVD rental poorer to boot.

Still… still. The line with which Kronk comforts his secretaries did earn a chuckle from me. I have to give them that, at least.

6

Lilo & Stitch was pretty good, but otherwise I agree. Though I’ve never seen Kim Possible.

As for direct-to-video sequels, have any of them not sucked?

7

As was noted in previous Disney threads, their television animation division does the direct-to-video sequels. And it shows.

8

90% of them, yes. They’re usually made by a completely different team, with the original creators getting an Executive Producer credit, if that.

However, the simulquel to Lion King, the one following the story of Timon and Pumbaa is really fun. And the sequel to Lilo & Stitch is pretty good, though not especially amazing. And the interquel to Bambi looks like it might be okay.

9

The target audience for this movie is…?

I haven’t seen it yet but I’d bet it wasn’t worldly wise SDMB members.

10

Useless fact: the creators of Kim Possible are credited as writers on the very first DTV Disney film, The Return of Jafar. I remember reading an article about the 10th anniversary of Disney DTV films. It’s amazing that this method of release has been so successful. Other studios such as Fox (The Sandlot 2) and Universal (countless sequels to The Land Before Time, as well as sequels to more adult fare such as Bring It On and American Pie) have also used this method to great success. If Disney had used their time and effort to create original, unique stories instead of direct-to-video sequels to films to modern cash-cows and classics that were made when Walt was still alive, maybe the animation studio would still be open.

11

As I said, it even bored my kids.

The maddening thing is that getting it right would have been relatively cheap! They paid for the original voice talent. The animation, while limited, was more than adequate for telling a decent story. The primary problem was the script, and, compared to the cost of the rest of the production, the script is peanuts.

12

I must thank the posters who’ve given reviews of this one, though. In the past I’ve seen a few of the direct to video sequels that Disney came up with, and been disappointed. This time, I’d have to have shelled out my own money for this one, and given their record with 'em I wasn’t willing, without some advance warning.

I’m glad I waited.

13

People who enjoy a good animated comedy?

The meme that “animation = kids’ fare” is so 20th century.

14

You know who invented that meme? Walt Disney.

15

Not really, no. It’s not as though the medium of animation was trembling on the verge of being embraced as substantively equivalent to live-action film before Disney stepped in and stripped away its dignity. Before Disney, animation was basically limited to lightweight disposable cartoon shorts sandwiched between the newsreel and Our Gang comedies. Disney was the nut with the outrageous belief that people might be willing to shell out as much cash for a full-length animated feature as for latest offering by DeMille or Ford. But animation had been ‘kid stuff’ for decades already; while Disney may have embraced the notion, he did not create it by any means. It would have certainly been interesting to see a competing studio pony up the cash to produce lavishly animated SF or horror epics with Tod Browning or James Whale at the helm, but no one did, and it seems kind of silly to blame Disney for that.

16

And, in fact, Disney tried to make the move into more adult fare with **Fantasia ** and was rejected at the box office. Maybe he would have given it another shot, but the war and the 1941 strike left the studio too weak financially to take any gambles. By the time they were back on solid footing, Walt was more interested in Disneyland than the animated features.

It’s interesting to imagine where animation would have gone had **Fantasia ** been a success … .

17

Hmph,and now they have a series. “The Emporer’s New School.” Apparantly Kuzco has to graduate from school to become the real emporer.

So who wants to take the bullet on this one?