My hand hurts again and I’ve had it. I’ve been particularly fond of Labatt beer since I was a teenager in the early 90’s. After many minor cuts, as well as torn T-shirts from shielding my hand, I must ask… Labatt, when will you make a bottle cap that actually twists off when a reasonable amount of force is applied? I know I could just invest in a bottle opener, or switch to cans, but that’s not the point. It’s a twist-off. But not really. I’ve never conducted a legitimate experiment over the years, but I would dare say that 60% or more of the many Labatt bottles that I’ve opened have required more than reasonable force. The company is making an ample amount of money. Please save my hand and improve your capping system.
Yeah, but they have happy faces on some of their caps. That alone is worth a shredded hand once in a while…
Happy faces are no consolation. Seriously though, why are they so Goddamned difficult to open? Must be Canadian engineering.
It’s all part of the plan to make you Yankees overexert yourself - you’ll be too tired when the invasion comes! 
Just keep it up. Drink enough and callouses will replace the cuts.
Then it’s easy.
It’s part of the quality control process. We export the hard to open ones.
Are you twisting it the right direction?
Lefty-loosey, man.
Or get a damn bottle opener. That’s what I did.
Lebatt’s is OK beer. Bass is my favorite though.
If you can’t carry your own two-four or open your goddamn beer, you’re on your own. There’s a limit to even the legendary Canadian politeness.
Sleeman’s are sometimes a bitch to open, though.
(Grandma uses her teeth to open beers, always has, always will. I’ll never live down the time we went bear hunting and she bagged one but I didn’t.))
Here’s a tip… never… ever open a bottle when your hands are wet/completely soaked. I did that once and ow… I had such cuts on my hand…
[sub]I was at a hot tub party and a cute guy asked me to open it for him. Shame that didn’t work.[/sub]
I’m a kind soul, so let me let you into a trick.
The reason it’s cutting is because you’re holding it with your hand, wrapping your fingers around the edges. The edges are sharp, so as you twist they cut into your fingers or palm.
Try the following - it works as long as you have reasonably muscular forearms.
Hold bottle with right hand, as if you were going to drink. Push the bottle cap firmly into the muscle of your left forearm, pushing your forearm down against it. The top down pressure should give you a pretty good seal, against the rounded curves of the top of the bottle. Twist with your right hand, and the cap comes off, all without cuts.
Now a harder challenge is how to open wine with your bare hands, without spillage or breaking glass, but I’m not prepared to divulge that one for free.
I’ve noticed that too. They’re unusually sealed onto those bottles. I’m thinking about hiring that guy who opens beer bottles with his belly button.
It’s LABATT’S, dammit. If you’re going to insist on drinking the crappiest beer Canada makes, learn to spell it. Legendary Canadian politeness indeed!
You know, you can buy a bottle opener for you key chain for less than $1.
And Newcastle has jokes.
snort
I couldn’t agree with the OP more. I have been a Labatt fan for a long time, but they are too damn hard to open.
Bonus tip: if you drink mostly twist-off beer, BE CAREFUL when switching to a new non-twist-off brand such as Sam Adams. We learned the hard way that Sam Adams caps don’t twist off.
Is it illegal to use your shirt to gain the requisite friction, regardless of moisture? 'cause that’s how I’d handle that situation.