High on the list of things that turn men into weak and indecisive cowards is the purchase of jewellery for a woman. There are just too many variables to consider for our narrowly focused minds - Daily wear or special occasion jewellery? Ring? Bracelet? Necklace? Earrings? Is it too little or too much? What is appropriate for the status of the relationship?
I fall upon the collective wisdom of the women of the SDMB for help (men are welcome to chime in, too).
OK, some background info and the pertinent details -
This is a Christmas gift, but in early January she will be having LASIK surgery and is very excited about it. She has incredible deep green eyes, but they have been hidden behind glasses since she was a child. I want something that will enhance her eyes, so I am thinking emerald (?), but in what form I don’t know. I also want it to be something she can wear often, not just for special occasions.
Her - Think class. Businesswoman (Big 5 consultant), dresses conservatively, but is loosening up a bit. Brunette, shoulder length hair. GREEN eyes. Age 40.
Us - Together almost 2 years. Went to High School together and met in a chance encounter 20 years later while both were in the midst of divorce. Massive sparks, still sparking (cue harp music). This will be the first time we exchange gifts openly, so I want the gift to be nice, but not ostentatious. Say under $400.
Is that enough info?
Fire away with suggestions. Post links if you see something.
Emerald stud earrings would be lovely. If you decide on emeralds, be sure and visit a good jeweler who will take the time to educate you on emeralds. Don’t buy “lab created”, look for deep, bright greens, and know that most emeralds have inclusions, but you don’t want an emerald that is chock full of flaws. A good jeweler will help you choose.
If you want something a little different from traditional jewelry designs or something handmade, look at Fragments. They have absolutely gorgeous stuff.
If she dresses conservatively, and want something that she could possibly wear a bit more often, you might be able to find a nice watch, too. There are some with particular stones. OTOH, it won’t necessarily offset her eyes, but watches are always useful!
Check out what she currently has re: silver vs. gold.
A lot of gals I know wear strictly one or the other.
I have a pair of CZ’s which I adore: emeralds in place of the CZ’s appeal to me for your lady. These are not studs but very small wires, with the jewel in a solitaire setting.
P.S. you get Santa’s Most Thoughtful Man award !!! Can I give you my SO’s phone number??
First of all, lasik surgery is very dangerous, I knew someone who went blind after having it done. NEVER get both eyes done at the same time!
Go to Surgicaleyes.com, and see the comments from former patients, lasik surgery is not usu correctable, and cannot be done again when your eyes change later in life. I recommed getting Intacts, which are clear plasic corneal rings, that do not harm the central cornea at all, are correctable, can be changed as your eyes change, and are reversable, they can be safely taken out if there ever was a problem.
As to the gift, diamonds are always appreciated by any woman. For $400 you can get some diamond earings.
It sounds like you’ve got it already, but just stay away from anything in a non-traditional color (pink, light blue, etc) for the stone. Also, stay away from the odd-shaped stones. Here I’m thinking of a heart-shaped amethyst pendant.
The emerald earrings sound nice. Necklaces are also nice, as they can be worn under clothing if desired, for sentimental value. Diamond earrings will bring out any color eyes and are timeless. She may have a pair already though.
Welcome to the Straight Dope. Lesson #1: If you make a gender-based generalization, someone will be along shortly to provide a contradictory example. In other words, I dislike diamonds.
As far as the OP, I think a simple emerald pendant on a fine chain would be very nice. Or pearls. If she doesn’t have a good pair or plain pearl earrings, she may like a pair.
if you get a genuine emerald, be prepared to pay alot. Real emeralds that do not have inclusions (meaning that they have internal flaws in them) are pretty pricey.
That said, if she wears silver, get white gold or platinum. You will rarely find quality gemstones in silver.
There are other green stones if you don’t find what you like in emeralds:
Jade, green saphires (they come in every shade of the rainbow, but may be hard to find), peridot (very common. usually a lime green type shade but Burmese peridots are darker and are becoming more popular), tourmalne ( a darker green shade).
try and pay attention to what she normally wears.
does she wear earings? soes she wear necklaces?
see what type she usually gets. I myself do not like studs, so if I got some, I don’t know that I would wear them much, YMMV of course.
I beg to differ. I do not like diamonds, I have never liked diamonds, and if my husband gave me diamonds, I’d smack him because he knows I don’t like diamonds.
As to the OP, unfortunately, I don’t wear much in the way of jewelry, so I can’t help you here, but I have to say that you’re very sweet.
I am fond of green tourmalines, whose color ranges from lime-peridot green to a dark, vivid emerald, and I think they’d look great on a person with green eyes. I prefer them to emeralds, as they are transparent, like diamonds and topazes. Emeralds tend to be opaque, and I don’t care for that.
I purchased my green tourmaline as a loose stone off eBay, and had it set in a ring mounting I bought elsewhere. In all, it cost me just under $200. The majority of the cost was in the mounting itself and the stone-setting fee. If you’re interested in this approach, my suggestion would be to use a nonround stone (I have a trillion cut stone) and choose a mounting that has mounts for diamond accents. I say this because I once saw a picture of a small, rectangular green tourmaline, set east-west, with tiny round diamond accents on the ends. This ring was set in yellow gold, and was beautiful. Gemstone greens and yellow gold are a excellent combination.
generally earrings and necklaces are the easy buys as you don’t have to size them.
bracelets and rings are tricky.
i’d go with the earring idea if she wears them. simple emerald/amythest/tourmaline/peridot studs or drops.
if you can (and it is a bit sneaky and underhand) take some photos of her jewelry collection(safer than bringing the real things), and bring a photo of her with you to the shop.
it’ll give you, and the shop assistant, an idea of her style and what would suit her…
I think any emerald you are going to get for under $400 is going to look cheap. Real emeralds - good ones - are really expensive,
And I don’t like drop earings. What I’d be thrilled by is a pendant - something kind of contemporary. In green, a large rectangular or trianglar peridot, set in a gold sculputed setting.
But every woman is different.
Here is what I would do. Ask her sister or her girlfriend (even her mother) to go to the jewerly store with you. We’ve never met her. A sister or girlfriend knows her, knows her taste, and maybe has even done a little window shopping for jewerly with her.
I keep dropping broad hints to my husband that he should take my sister with him when he goes jewerly shopping for me.
You can get eye-clean 3-4mm round emerald studs for under $400. This is a nice size earring. Perfect for that first jewelry gift. Small, yet definitely noticeable. These stones will have a fair number of small inclusions under a 10x loupe. Just stay away from the obviously cloudy stones. Please avoid those awful ‘buttercup’ settings. Yuck!
Someone else mentioned tourmelines. The chrome diopside variety is beautiful. You should also look at tsavorite garnets. Halfway down this page is picture showing the great color. http://www.custom-gemstone-jewelry.com/gem-earrings.htm The tourmelines and garnets may be easier to find in silver settings than the emeralds.
I understand that you’re going with green to play off of her features, but realize that she might color-coordinate her jewelry with her clothing. My birthstone is amethyst (which is purple), and I have half a dozen amethyst necklaces and earrings, but I rarely wear them because they usually clash with the colors I am wearing.
That being said, if you want something she will wear all the time, go with lots of silver and touches of green (may it be emerald, peridot, whatever). Or, if it will be something for special occassions or a particular dress she has, go with a larger stone.
Then again, maybe she wears a lot of green. In which case everything I said is moot
