Ladies: What good is a bidet, nowadays?

[The_Chao_Goes_Mu]

@InappropriateHumor

I second this statement. They make some nifty flushable moist wipes nowadays.

I have yet to hear any plumber give a nod to anything claiming to be “flushable” except for toilet paper.

[Carl_Corey]

WhyNot, that has never happened to me.

[Swallowed_My_Cellphone]

@WhyNot

I ask because of course the little boys in diapers that I babysit do,

Never had that issue happen either. Perhaps is a wipe front-to-back vs. back-to-front kind of thing. Changing a diaper with a kid on his back is pretty different than an older fella sitting on the loo.

[chowder]

'scuse me but what’s all this talk of washing ones nads and other dangly bits in a bidet?
Everybody knows a bidet is for washing your feet in, innit?

[Ethilrist]

No, it’s for washing your backside.

[ouryL]

I would love a bidet in my house.

[brewha]

I have never used a bidet, but I do have a question for those who have. Does the water come out warm right away? I know when I turn on the faucet it comes out cold at first and I really can’t see how that would be comfortable. Or, do you adjust the temp and then sit down on the seat? It just seems a bit odd to me.

[Carol_the_Impaler]

@BrainGlutton

I mean, it seems to me like it would only really be useful in a time and place where women do not have access to the facilities for daily hot baths/showers. (And very useful and valued there!) Which might explain why bidets are so rare in America. Has it any other practical value?

I just want to know why BrainGlutton only addressed this to the ladies. Hon, do you think we douche with that thing?

[percussion]

The BIDOUCHE!

[rocksolid]

Well i can’t see that there is ever going to be a better time to ask this question so what the hell…

Someone please talk me through the using the bidet procedure. Am i really stupid or is it as awkward as it seems? I picture shuffle over to bidet with trousers round ankles stifling movement in semi-still-sitting-down position. Squat over bidet? Or sit down on rim? Water jet asshole with no other assistance? By that i mean, do you use a cloth or toilet roll, a hand? I guess not but i can’t think i’d ever wash a body part just by jetting it with water. Anyway, then back over to toilet via same awkward semi-squat trousers round ankles stumble to dry ass with toilet paper?

Ain’t it amazing the things we seem to get through life without ever knowing

Next week, someone tell me about this tying shoe laces thing…

[friedo]

A friend of mine broke his arm pretty bad and was no longer able to reach behind himself to wipe his ass. I helpfully suggested that, for the time being, he simply use his other arm. The human body is nicely redundant in that way.

He looked at me like I was crazy.

So he got a bidet and has been happily using it ever since.

Personally, I think he always secretly wanted a bidet and just broke his arm as an excuse to get it.

[Green_Cymbeline]

Cottonelle Flushable Wet Wipes are the best! So much more convenient than a bidet.

[Harmonious_Discord]

@friedo

A friend of mine broke his arm pretty bad and was no longer able to reach behind himself to wipe his ass. I helpfully suggested that, for the time being, he simply use his other arm. The human body is nicely redundant in that way.

He looked at me like I was crazy.

So he got a bidet and has been happily using it ever since.

Personally, I think he always secretly wanted a bidet and just broke his arm as an excuse to get it.

Glad to hear that he didn’t do a handyman special and use the sink sprayer in the kitchen.

[Harmonious_Discord]

I do have to ask. Does the water end up dribling on your pants and underwear, because the water gets all over? This one is serious, unlike the last.

[Booker57]

@friedo

A friend of mine broke his arm pretty bad and was no longer able to reach behind himself to wipe his ass. I helpfully suggested that, for the time being, he simply use his other arm. The human body is nicely redundant in that way.

He looked at me like I was crazy.

So he got a bidet and has been happily using it ever since.

Personally, I think he always secretly wanted a bidet and just broke his arm as an excuse to get it.

Have you tried to use your other hand? I can’t seam to get the hang of it. My dream house has a bidet

[F.U.Shakespeare]

I’m a male who has for decades brought a cup or small bottle of water into the bathroom with me, which I pour over the toilet paper. This offers benefits similar to a bidet and those Cottonelle products (although my way is a lot cheaper).

In contrast, in the middle east, the water is generally available, but I have to remember to bring the toilet paper.

[Sapo]

@Harmonious Discord

I do have to ask. Does the water end up dribling on your pants and underwear, because the water gets all over? This one is serious, unlike the last.

That was the end result (NPI) of my early experiments with a bidet. Your arse gets all wet and then you need a towel. When you get up, water on your cheeks runs down your legs and messes up your clothing. Was I doing something wrong?

[capybara]

Ok, checking in as a female American who likes bidets:
Why take a shower everyday if really only your armpits and netherbits need it every day?
And, say, it’s a hot and sweaty or otherwise “not-so-fresh” day – midday moment/ post-disco nap and you’re good as new.
Ditto “afternoon delight” and don’t want to bother with a full shower.
Ditto hemorrhoids. Rashy. Otherwise unpleasant. Good as new.
Your arse gets all wet and you’re smart enough to have a hand towel in reach. What’s complicated about that?
Also good for drying out swimsuits and keeping beer chilled in Spain midsummer if you don’t have a fridge.

[35340]

@Valgard

violent projectile diarrhea while doing a headstand or something.

BANDNAME!
/em posting unsoberlike

[Mrs_Johnson]

I’ve never used one but I’d try it. I hate pooping and not being able to shower afterwards. Feels icky. So yeah… why not butt-wash. Sounds like a good idea to me as long as the water is warm.