Hey, guess what I’m wearing on my left ring finger? My engagement ring, a (Canadian) diamond solitaire on a platinum band. I never asked for it. Hell, I didn’t even ask about getting married.
My SO’s proposal was a surprise. Okay, not a total surprise…I knew it was on his mind. Turns out he’d been agonizing over it for months, spent several weeks with a mutual friend selecting a ring, and had been surreptitiously questioning me as to my jewelry preferences. He’d considered getting me a stone other than a diamond, but our friend talked him out of it, saying that I would want a diamond (I really never thought about it, but I didn’t and don’t care – I never wore rings before this and I get no special enjoyment out of diamonds. I think she was projecting a little, actually.)
I love my ring because he gave it to me out of love – and aside from the diamond issue, he really did put a lot of thought into its design based on what he thought I’d like with regards to the metal, the setting, the size (not flashy) and the cut. And while I don’t give a shit what other people think of it, he gets a real kick out of seeing it on my finger. It touches me that he’d make such a sentimental gesture, because he’s usually extremely pragmatic with money.
I would marry him if he tied a piece of string around my finger. I don’t care. But he does, and it made him happy to do it, so it’s no sweat off my balls.
I think an engagement ring is a romantic gesture but if you don’t want one or don’t believe in buying one… more power to you. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting one though or having one.
My husband’s proposal was a complete surprise to me as was the engagement ring he gave me. He picked it out by himself and I had no absolutely no idea he had even looked at rings and had no idea he was going to propose. It really meant a lot to me that he had gone to so much trouble… just for me.
If he’d proposed without a ring would I have still said yes? Of course I would’ve, he’s the love of my life. Would I have been a little upset he didn’t have an engagement ring for me? Yes. I guess I’m just old fashioned and sentimental in that way. My husband is too.
It’s funny when I opened this thread my thought was “of course I would marry without an engagement ring” (actually the hard part would be getting me to marry at all…) but depending on the circumstance I don’t think any rings at all are necessary…it is the commitment and promise to each other that counts not the jewelry but…when i read what you wrote and the way you went off…hmmm, I kind of agree with what someone else wrote it is your attitude about the whoel thing that is the deal breaker.
If you truly love someone, you would give your right arm for them, your kidney, your eyeball…you don’t care if you spend three years salary on a rock for her hand for something frivalous and stupid…if she really loves you, it won’t matter if you don’t. I think that is the sum of it all.
Here’s a tip: order a from a place that offers tinted CZ stones, and get one colored like a G or H quality diamond, and it’ll look much more like a real stone. And don’t get one much bigger than a carat.
Most CZs are so easily distinguished from a real diamond for two reasons: too clear and too big.
I tried proposing to ladybug without a ring the first time, in a moment of post-coital bliss.
Boy did that bliss end quick. :smack:
It didn’t come back for a week, either. :rolleyes:
Neither my husband-to-be nor I are jewelry people. If he doesn’t want to wear his wedding rings, that’s OK with me as long as he’s OK with me not wearing mine.
I can’t imagine having a problem if my wife didn’t want to wear a ring. To me that would signify that she’s a free thinker, unconcerned with what other people think. I respect that kind of thing.
And besides, it would be hypcrytical given my stance as the OP. Of course, everyone is a hypocrite, but it’s the effort that counts…
A long long time ago (30+ years) when Mr. As_u_wish and I got married, I already had a ring I liked. So we decided to get a microwave. It was cutting edge technology at the time. The cost (if I recall correctly) was over $500. It’s a huge, clunky, not very high wattage, non-digital monstrosity. Did I mention it’s o l d? But dang! it still works. Part of me keeps hoping it will die so I can get a new, modern one. Part of me thinks its willingness to take a licking and keep on ticking is testamony to our own survival.
So, InternetLegend, what happened to the TV? Still got it, lurking around in the basement rec room?
I like the idea of the engagement ring as a symbol given at the proposal, but the idea of it needing to be some several tens of thousands of dollars diamond ring?
IMHO? That’s just ridiculous, but then I’m kind of a weird girl. I’m not much for flowers. They die for pete’s sake!!!
This is NOT to say that I’m not typically female in that I love surprises and little tokens of affection, I just think that (especially for the guys’ sakes) they “should” be practical ones.
A ridiculously expensive ring, when the money COULD go toward other cool stuff for the couple? Nah…stupid IMHO.
I have discussed this with my friends before. None of us are married yet. The question the guy asked of us was whether we would mind being proposed to with a $10 Walmart ring. I think all of us but one (out of five) said that we didn’t care if it was a Walmart ring, a twistie tie, or a piece of string. All that matters is the proposal and the happiness of spending the rest of your life with someone you love.
Not married, not really intending to (happily shacked up), but if I were, I would like a ring. Something that I like. Not a diamond. A dark blue/green opal in white gold or platinum would be nice.
So, no, certainly not thousands, that seems silly and wasteful. Maybe a couple of hundred. But it’s a token that should be something special enough to keep for life - which is why I don’t like the TV or microwave idea.
I’ve been married twice, I did not have an engagement ring either time. I didn’t even get my wedding band for my second (and current) marriage until 2 months after we were married.
Oooh, I missed this one. Now that you mention it, I never wore my wedding ring on my finger, I wore it on a chain around my neck. I can’t stand things on my fingers or wrists (well except for a man’s strong hands, but errrm that’s another story <Sheepish grin>).
If I ever got married again, I’d likely do something similar. Plus like another poster, (whose husband is a mechanic) said, the kind of work I do would mean I’d have to be taking it off all the time anyway.
Funny you should mention this. A heartfelt proposal given with a ring from a gumball machine would probably make me cry, whereas, if the man’s heart wasn’t in it, an expensive ring wouldn’t mean a thing. (poet :D).
I think there’ve been quite a few corny love scenes where some earnest (but broke) guy gave his “girl” a gumball machine ring.
The thing is, that it’s the feelings behind it, not his promises to replace the ring with a “real” one, and to “give her the moon when he can”.
See, IMNSHO, it’s really too bad that so many guys don’t “GET” that it’s all in the heart and the words.
I knew some poor TOTALLY pussy whipped schmuck in high school who dropped something like 7 g’s to get his girlfriend the ring she wanted. Then for the first coupla years of their marriage they lived in a teeny tiny, cramped place not much bigger than your average shack. Dumbasses!
We actually gave it to an even poorer couple after friends of ours gave us their broken but fixable color TV. We had that one until it burned out in 1985 or so, on the night Sting was supposed to be on Saturday Night Live. We bought an even bigger (20" - woohoo!) color TV on credit that day, and we’re waiting for that one to give up the ghost before we buy a new one.