I just spoke to the lying, cheating sonofabitch to tell him to get tested, strongly suggesting that it’s highly likely that he gave me the virus, and he has ZERO remorse. Didn’t even ask if I was going to be OK or if I was upset; in fact, didn’t even let me finish telling him how I had found out and all the potential ramifications; decided it was more important to tell me his problems instead.
When I suggested that perhaps he was the one who had given it to me, he said, “I don’t believe in blaming people, for these things; it doesn’t do anyone any good.” I told him that blame serves a purpose if the person who has done something wrong then realizes it and changes his behavior, and that perhaps people who don’t sleep around are less likely to end up with STD’s, and he completely blew it off. And the schmuck sincerely doesn’t understand why I don’t want to stay friends withhim; I didn’t raise my voice, but told him theat really, I felt he had pretty much drained every remianing friendly impulse out of me.
Can you believe that even after that, he asked if I wanted him to visit me after the surgery? That asshole really does not have a clue about anything.
However, my sister is planning on getting some nice, brightly colored pamphlets from Planned Parenthood and mailing them to his quiet suburban neighborhood in a bright yellow envelope marked, “Some Important Information About Your STD.” I wouldn’t do it myself, but well, I’m not exactly going to hold her back…
Eva Luna, i REALLY hope all works out for you (and i’m sure it will) and that asshat enjoys his postal present!
had a bit of a scare myself ( hormonal ectropia/erosion that turned out to be non-dysplasic, and cleared up on its own without treatment) last year and know how freaky these things can be.
The doc found it when I went for my six-week checkup afer my son was born. I was 32, and had been having yearly exams since I was 16. But, my son was my fifth pregnancy. My immune system was a bit weak. It allowed for actual signs of this disease to show up.
I had the LEEP procedure done just a few weeks after the diagnosis. That was three years ago, and no abnormalities since then.
But keep up on the yearly checkups. Do not let them slide. And if you’re old enough, get your mammograms, too.
((((Eva))))
I’ll be thinking about you, and if you need any support, feel free to email me!
Thanks soooooo much for your support and war stories, everyone; I find it both sadly amusing and highly ironic that a bunch of complete strangers have expended the time and energy to offer support, while the schmuck who supposedly used to love me (and says he still does, BTW) can’t stop thinking about himself long enough to say three words of support. Not that Hallmark makes a card for this occasion, but come on!
Now I get to continue the game of phone tag with my gyno in search of answers about a) whether I am still carrying the virus and/or can transmit it to anyone (sadly, not that I’ve had the opportunity recently, but a girl can always hope, even if she’s going to be out of commission for a few weeks anyway), and b) incubation periods and such, i.e. is it at all possible, given how slowly cervical cancer apparently develops, to have seven consecutive false negative Pap smears?
As far as I know, you are always a carrier. It’s not like herpes, where you’re not contagious when it’s not flaring up. You’ve got it. It’s a part of you–and it’s likely you’re carrying other HPV viruses, as well, not just the ones implicated in cervical cancer. You may never have another problem again; your immune system may suppress any other effects. You could have 30 years of negative pap smears even though you’re a carrier. And, yes, you could pass HPV on to a future partner.
I guess that is why the idea of finger-pointing or trying to make someone feel guilty about this STD makes me uncomfortable. It doesn’t have to do with “sleeping around” because it’s so common that you could sleep with one person and get it. Yes, more sexual partners means a higher risk factor, but some estimates put infection rates at 80%. 80%! You don’t have to be a skank to get it or give it.
I guess it’s noble for you to wish that your ex would use this diagnosis as a reason to inform his current and past lovers that they need to keep up those pap smears, but it doesn’t sound like that will happen. The thing is, they need to be having pap smears no matter what. I don’t know if learning that a partner is a likely HPV carrier is going to drive them to the doctor if they don’t take care of themselves anyway. I mean, if they’re not worried about chlamydia and the like, they’re not going to care about a low-risk commonplace STD like HPV.
I did sleep with only one person and get it. And the book I read says that while it is a necessary requirement to get cerival cancer, HPV in and of itself will not give you cancer without other elements (stress, smoking etc.) being present.
I had what the gynae described as “pre pre cancerous cells” (“pre CIN 1” I think she also said) then a year later I was clear apparently. I now need to go back again.
However from what people above have written it looks as though I should have had some treatment even at that early stage of abnormality, so I am a bit worried.
LaurAnge - cancer is often, but not always, about “other elements.” Sometimes it’s just about bloody bad luck. It could be possible to be active, healthy, happy and have HPV and get cancer, though yes - it would be more likely to happen if you were a smoker etc.
The continual message of all of this is get checked out often and never rest on your laurels, because the only thing that will save anyone from dying of cancer is catching it early.
Well, I’m upset about my ex because he’s a lying, cheating scumbag, not because he may have given me the HPV. It’s more because he shows zero concern for the people he is supposed to care about, nor for the results of his actions. That’s what makes him a dog, not being a virus carrier per se.
And yes, my immune system may have been rather down at the time, because during most of the 4+ years I was with him, I was having other, unrelated medical issues (long story involving 4 leg surgeries).
As for the prospect of passing this along: well, chlamydia can be cured completely with a few days of antibiotics; HPV can’t. Nor, as some have mentioned, do condoms necessarily provide protection. And well, I know that even syphillis used to be a death sentence, but even with improved treatments and early detection, I hardly call something that has the potential to cause cancer “low risk.” Personally, I have enough of a moral code that if I’m putting someone at risk, even a little bit, I want him to be making an informed decision about whether he is willing to accept that risk.
On the bright side, the guy I’ve been alternately Dating and Not Dating for the past few months has been extremely wonderful, caring, and supportive…because his ex had gone through the exact same thing. Which means a) he’s familiar will all the emotional fallout, and isn’t freaked out by it; and b) he has most likely been exposed to the virus himself.
Don’t be - most cases of CIN 1 (LGSIL) resolve spontaneously without any treatment at all - the immune system kicks in and suppresses the virus. Only CIN 1 that persists for months needs to be treated. The only reason most gynecologists treat CIN 1 upfront (rather than waiting to see if the immune system will eventually do its job, and only treating if the condition persists for several months) is because an appreciable number of women don’t/won’t come back in for followup exams (necessary to see if the virus has been suppressed successfully), and many women aren’t comfortable with a “watchful waiting” approach.
All you need to do at this point is to continue having your pap smears regularly - and if you switch doctors, do let the new one know that you’ve had a documented HPV infection in the past.
artemis thank you SO much for that it was really reassuring.
I got the number of a nice lady gyaecologist today so I am in the process of trying to set up a check-up appointment. I am really really grateful to this thread for spurring me to do that, because I had procrastinated and forgot about doing it for ages, I think it has been two years since my last check-up now. Fingers crossed all will be well.
It seems strange for me to be posting about something this personal in a message board, but others have shown so much courage in sharing their experiences - and I have found those experiences valuable - which is why I posted too.
Eva Luna I really hope you will be OK. My thoughts are with you.
The very first abnormal pap smear I had led to my having a colposcopy which revealed a CIN3 lesion which was removed durig the colposcopy. That’s over 17 years ago and I’ve never had an abnormal pap result again.
Even the CDC itself doesn’t have a great many answers about the exact causal role of some strains of HPV in some cancers - they are undertaking research aimed at discovering those answers, but it’s likely to be many years before there anything definitive emerges.
This passage from the Executive Summary of the report, should remind men that their own sexual health is can also be jeopardised by HPV :
[quote]
Genital human papillomavirus (HPV) infection is the most common sexually transmitted disease (STD) in the United States and is of increasing public health concern, yet no prevention programs have been established. Certain HPV types cause abnormal Pap smears and are etiologically related to cervical, vulvar, anal, and penile cancers; other types cause genital warts, recurrent respiratory papillomatosis, and low-grade Pap smear abnormalities.
I was somewhat dismayed, while googling for the CDC report, to come across a couple of natural remedies which claim to kill or eliminate HPV.
istara, if you reread my first message, you’ll see that I had a doctor tell me that these things can resolve themselves. Some doctors think it’s better to let early-stage dysplasia be healed by the body, instead of doing something invasive. No treatment at all is a perfectly acceptable protocol.
Eva, we’ll just have to agree to differ. I do consider HPV to be low-risk. 75% of adults are infected at some point in their lives. Sure, 13 or so of the viruses are implicated in cervical cancer, but most people who have HPV NEVER get cancer. Or even dysplasia. Simple dysplasia is 4 times more common than actual cancer–cervical cancer is considered rare, uncommon, and slow-growing. It’s easy to catch and it’s treatable. 2 million women may get a suspicious result from their pap smear each year, but less than 14,000 will be found to have actual cancer. Present medical care means that it’s rare that anyone dies from it. Dysplasia and even early cancer is 100% treatable. 100%! Nearly everyone who dies does so because they never got a pap smear. And they are working on a vaccine. The other thing that can happen with HPV is genital warts, which are more a nuisance than anything else. They can burn those suckers off. Sometimes they might necessitate a c-section instead of a vaginal birth, but even that’s unusual.
Speaking personally, of all the STDs in the world to have, I’ll take HPV any day. Sure, you can eliminate the others (some of them, anyway) with antibiotics, but you’ve got to know you have them and to find out requires other, non-routine tests. If you’re asymptomatic, horrible things could be happening to your fertility without your knowing it. Not so with HPV. If you’ve got the sense to get regular medical care, any problematic HPV will be found and treated (or monitored).
Well, yep, we’ll have to agree to disagree here. Again, I’m apparently a freak of nature, but I seem to have skipped all the internmediate stages of abnormal cellular development and flung myself headlong into cancer; either that, or had multiple false negative Paps at regular intervals over what is probably a period of several years. Personally, I’d far rather have something that is likely to damage my fertility, but can be cured with a few days of drugs, than something that can possibly kill me and which my body will likely never be rid of.
I talked to my doc a bit yesterday, and she says there is no way of knowing for sure as things stand now whether I can transmit the virus even if I’m no longer showing symptoms. So unless science comes up with something new, I’m stuck with this for life, and/or the guilt of knowing I could unwittingly and/or indirectly put someone else in this situation, and in fact may already have done so. Some of the links posted above confirm this.
OK, I’m really depressed now. At least with herpes, you’re rarely contagious without visible symptoms. So are we soon going to see “HPV+” personal ads?
Is there any way to find out if I’m one of the “lucky” 5% or so whose cervical cancers can’t be shown to be related to HPV? If I’m going to be a freak of nature, I might as well go all the way, and 5% is small, but not negligible.
I strongly suspect, from the earlier descriptions you’ve given about the treatment planned for your condition (laser therapy), that you have CIN III (the most severe degree of dysplasia, falling just short of an invasive cancer), and NOT true cervical cancer, which is an invasive lesion (requiring for effective treatment at minimum a cervical cone biopsy, and more usually a hysterectomy). Although cervical disease is generally slowly progressive, there is some evidence that a minority of people infected with one of the more aggressive subtypes of the HPV virus either never go through the CIN I/mild dysplasia stage, or progress through it VERY rapidly, and thus present with CIN II or CIN III at the onset. So, no, you’re NOT a freak of nature - just unlucky.
There are MANY infectious diseases which have the potential to seriously harm or even kill some people, and which are also widespread in the population. HPV is no different from CMV, Epstein-Barr virus, JC and BK viruses in that regard - MOST of the population becomes infected with it at some point in their lives, but only a few ever develop any serious problems from it. People are “put at risk” from these viruses simply by living - your guilt is excessive. Be a bit kinder to yourself - you’re not Typhoid Mary.
A person infected with herpes CAN shed virus (and be infectious) without having visible symptoms - although they will usually have an active outbreak at one point or another which will alert them to the fact that they are infected with the virus.
And I doubt we’ll see “HPV+” ads any time soon, because the disease is so much more common than herpes, chlamydia, etc. With 80%+ of the population carrying it, infection with HPV is pretty much unavoidable unless you’re willing to be celibate, or are placing “no HPV infection” at the VERY top of your “things I want from my partner” list. And remember - men often have no way of knowing that they are even carriers of the virus, so how would a woman be able to find out that her swain is infected before she sleeps with him? She can’t just ask him, because he honestly might not know he’s a carrier, and there may be no lesions for her to see on his genitalia. And condoms aren’t reliable protection against HPV, as they are for many other sexually transmitted diseases.
The bottom line is, if you are going to be sexually active at all (other than masturbation), you risk infection by sexually transmitted diseases. The risks can be reduced for some of these diseases, but never completely eliminated.
HPV testing by hybrid capture assay can be performed on liquid-based paps. If the test comes back negative, you might be one of the rare people who developed cervical disease without pre-existing HPV infection - or you might be infected with a subtype of the virus that the test can’t detect. If knowing your HPV status is that important to you, ask your gynecologist whether she can order HPV testing on your ThinPrep pap for you - but be prepared to pay the costs out of pocket, since I suspect that most insurers won’t pay for this as a “necessary diagnostic test” (it’s generally used to determine what type of followup to recommend to women who have very mild, hard-to-classify abnormalities on their pap smears).
What artemis said. Absolutely do not feel guilty. The chances that you will pass it to some guy who will pass it to some girl who has the exact same factors that lead to the ultra-fast-growing problem you have (can that sentence run on any more)? are really slim. For all you know, any fellow you bump uglies with in the future may already have it–same for their future partners. You may not be much of a disease vector given the current suspected infection rates. You are, as you said, unlucky. Most of us afflicted ones will go through life with no serious problems–possibly no problems at all.
I gotta wonder how this is hurting my attractiveness factor on the boards, all this discussion of my warty, dysplasic, HPV-ridden genitalia. Mmmmm. LOL