I realise your high priced market analysists told you that if you randomize the DVD section so that anything could be put any-old-where, I would wander the isles of your electronic section and find about 10 other movies I can’t live without while I dig through your 985 copies of Knocked Up for something a grown person wouldn’t be embarased to be seen buying. I am pretty sure I am not unique when I tell you that all you accomplished was pissing me off. Not only didn’t I buy your 10 other items I hadn’t planned on buying, I didn’t buy the list of assorted stuff I had actually planned on purchasing. I won’t be back for a while.
To Target:
I know putting all the shoes that look alike makes for a lovely display, but if i cant find a shoe that is in my size, it really doesn’t matter how fucking cute the shoe is. Once again, I walk out without what I was looking for.
To the Grocery Store.
Don’t just move sections of stuff all willy-nilly all over the store. I don’t want a frigging shopping experience, I want to get home and make dinner. The spice packets belong in the spice section not with the jelly. There is no need for two office supply sections. There are 5 other grocery stores within a 2 mile radius. I had to get in my car to get to you. I can get to another. If I have to relearn where everything is in the damn store every couple months, I will not come here
To all of you: I don’t have to go to your store. If you make it too hard, I won’t. There is this little thing called the internet. I can buy most everything but food that way, and they don’t hide their merchandise from me in hopes I buy more. There are companies that deliver food as well, and I am beginning to think I might start buying that way. Those are the things that tend to get moved about at random. I don’t like shopping, and I don’t like games invented to keep me doing it for longer. I can not be alone in this.
Dear T.J.Maxx - you are one of my favorite stores, honestly. You carry at least a small selection of larger sized clothing that don’t have sequined poodles on the tops. I visit you on a regular basis, and every fucking time I come in you have rearranged the store. Making me search the entire store for my size area isn’t going to make me buy housewares or kid’s clothes if that is not what I went in there for. It is only going to make me tired, and I don’t like to spend money when I am tired. I am more likely to leave without making a purchase if you make me run a mouse maze every time I go in the damned store. I don’t like to shop under the best of circumstances. Please don’t make the experience more miserable for me.
I like the new checkouts. Just leave the rest of the store alone, m’kay?
It should not take an act of Congress to find one pair of decent black pants in a plus size. I know exactly what I want; structured black flat front trousers with a boot cut leg. No elastic. No pleats. No thrice damned stretch jersey knit. Oh, and an inseam that doesn’t look like it was made for an Oompa Loompa. Why should that be so hard? Stupid retailers.
To every men’s clothing store I went into a short while back:
What the hell is up with every single dress shirt you sell either costing $120 (for pink) or $240 (for white)? And Saks, I know I should be lookist, and I try really hard to be open minded and non-judgemental. But that one sales clerk that was leering at me in a creepy way really needs to work on her look. With effort, she could look almost as pretty as Nathan Lane in drag, but she’d have to start by not drawing her eyebrows in with magic marker.
And on that note: TJ Maxx, why is that at each of your stores I have visited (many in California and Nevada), the plus size section has rows that are more smooshed together than the rest of the store?
I’m lucky that I’m still a size where I can wear XL from the regular sections, but I always pop over to the plus section to see if there is anything good. But damnit, the rows are literally HALF has wide as the ones in, say, the juniors section. What the hell kind of bull tail is that?
I just go where it was last time. If what I am looking for is not there, I find a stocker and bother them until they show me where it is. As Calvin says, “Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.”
Why O why does every top have a hood on it? There are so many cute little zip-front sweaters that would layer oh so well, if only for the blasted useless little double flap of extra fabric on the back of the neck, so if you do layer you end up with a horrible bunchy hunchback that looks ridiculous and always gets tangled up in the strap of your bag.
I have never heard of someone picking up a cardigan in the store and saying “wow, I’d totally buy this, if only it had a hood. Oh well.” and then putting it back on the shelf. But I and many people I know have done the reverse more times than I can count.
Who thinks this is a good idea? Who? I need to know so that I can go and kill them.
To all the idiot grocery stores who have a Starbucks in them right in front of the entrance that forces the line of Starbucks customers to form right in front of the entrance and thus blocking my path to actually get to the groceries, I’m looking at you Albertsons.
Fuck you. :mad:
Why do you force me to have to push my cart up to the line and then say excuse me 40 times to the idiot on their cell phone just so I can get to the goods I am willing to give you money for?
Oh ok, I get it now. You want me to get flustered by the idiots in line who just stare at me with a dumb-founded look on their face as to why I am standing there with a shopping cart instead of standing in line to get Starbucks so that I give up and then go the extra 50 ft. around the Starbucks and THROUGH the Deli section. Oh ok, that makes sense. Since I am going through the Deli section anyways I will obviously stop and buy a bunch of Deli items.
Oh God, flashback time. I spent a whole day last fall shopping for black dress pants. Every last one was made out of janitor-pants fabric or something equally appalling. Cut straight up from the hips – I could have nestled a basketball above my butt. (Yes, I have a big butt, but I also have a WAIST!) Ugly, ugly, ugly. (And I still recall the one plus-size-shop dressing room that had a handy tape measure for bra sizing (good!) that was I shit you not TEN FEET LONG (bad, very bad).
I finally found some decent ones at Penney’s, but it was the very last damn end of the day, when I was thisclose to giving up and going home in defeat.
I would also like to find a nice soft, snuggly pullover robe for lounging in, as my old one has shrunk to midcalf after years of faithful service. I want long sleeves with soft cuffs, two pockets for my hands, floor length, fairly thick, neckline neither too tight or too low, and (here’s the usual dealbreaker) NO BUTTONS OR ZIPPERS. I said PULLOVER! Buttons and zippers are superfluous on such a garment, and I don’t want little cold-hard things pressed against my skin. Just warm fabric. I used to have my choice of this type of garment, but now damned if I can find even one. sigh
I can so relate. I once bought boxers from the internet. The place had one style, in two colors, and they were not attractive. $200 for eight pair.
It took them a month to arrive, and when they did, I got 7 extra large and one small. Very handy if I ever have a son.
Except no way I’d make my son wear those. For one thing, they had no fly. For another, I couldn’t tell the front from the back. They were ill-fitting either way. When I sat down, they bunched in front and pulled themselves right off of my butt.
except when I am wearing a coat or some such…tis a hassle to keep the sleeves from bunching up when they aren’t long enough to grab with the same hand.
Please, please wash the drying blood and meat juices out of your meat cases.
The only reason I’m even in your store is to buy last minute, desparately needed canned and/or dry goods. I will not, will not ever buy your meats of any kind. Sure they might the freshest, just-off-the-animal-this morning versions – I won’t ever know.
Because you don’t clean the meat cases, every meat item you sell seems to smell like dessicated blood and, therefore, seems to be rotting.
It’s the year 2000-fucking-7, okay? Do yourselves a favor and stop treating my wife (and by extension, other women) like they are morons. She may not know the difference between a ballpeen hammer and a claw hammer, but she sure as hell can tell you’re being a dick about it.
Dear Retailers:
Customers don’t like it when they’re ignored by sales staff. They like it even less when there is no sales staff around for a purchase that requires said staff’s interaction. So do yourselves a favor and STAFF YOUR GODDAMN STORE. We’re (for the most part) patient folks; all your poor overworked drone needs to do is acknowledge us and we’ll wait while they finish up whatever they’re doing. On the other hand, if they vanish ‘on break’ into the back room and nobody else is around, you’ve lost the sale. This is not fucking rocket science.
Please tell me *before * I pay extra for a rush order that most of the items I want are backordered, and won’t be available until "later,"whenever that will be, especially not after stating on the order page that the items will finally be available for order today. Oh, I guess that just meant that I could place the order, not that the items would be shipped. Now I’m paying a rush fee on $16 worth of merchandise, instead of the $100 worth I thought I was getting. You know what the demand is for your products, why do you do this every single time? And thanks for telling me that my (partial) order has shipped, but would it be so hard to put the tracking # on there, too?
I rarely ever think of the right snappy thing to say until it’s too late, so, despite the fact that I was kind of a jerk to the poor kid who was stuck working there, I was proud on the day the Heroes DVD set came out and I couldn’t find it amongst the disarray of Circuit City’s shelves.
Clerk: Are you looking for something in particular?
Me: Yeah, the alphabet.
Clerk: Ummm…I don’t think I’ve heard of that one…are you sure it’s out yet?
Me: It’s kind of a classic.
I ended up going to Best Buy, which of course leads to…
Best Buy:
No, I don’t have your Best Buy credit card. No, I don’t want to sign up for it today to receive x% off my purchase. No, I don’t want to purchase the insurance plan. No, I don’t want a trial subscription to any magazines. No, I haven’t considered purchasing a Best Buy gift card for that upcoming birthday, but now that I’ve considered it…no. That item! That ONE fucking item RIGHT THERE! THAT is what I came here to buy. Please ring that ONE thing up, tyvm.
Since when did the cashier become a walking pop-up ad with a nametag? Drives me nuts!