Lamest 419 scam attempt ever.

Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS)
#1

Skimming emails earlier today and there’s one from a Peter Wong. I didn’t recognize the name but it did make it past my spam filters. No subject so there’s a possibility it’s someone from an organization I’m a member of. I’ll open it up to see.

Umm, Yeah. Right.

If you’re going to try to scam me please at least have the decency to assemble a pittable introduction. This is barely pitiable which is why I’m here in MPIMS making fun of you.

Pathetic is the best description I can come up with for this one. (My posting and the email), but that still doesn’t seem to do it justice. Anyone have a vocabulary that covers it better?

Or share your own email if you think you can top it.

#2

At least my spammer had the decency to be a Christian!
*From: “Dr. Grant John” <deleted email>Add sender to Contacts To: undisclosed-recipientsCONGRATULATIONS

We are hereby happy to inform you that you emerge as one of the winners in the lucky pick of email address on the web. The cheque won is used as a compensation to the

Numerous internet users, and gotten from the non-claims of winning check of last years lotto winners in the UK lottery international promotions.

To that effect, we had to organize a lucky dip of all e-mail addresses on the web and sectioned them into zones such as the Europe, Asia, America, Africa and the rest. Under These zones are the regions e.g. under Europe, we have London Ireland, Scotland, Holland and est. same applies to every other zone. So to that effect, your winning fell Under the African zone and West African region. So therefore, your winning had been sent down to the compensation agent in charge of that region in the person of Mr. Kelvin Green. You will have to make contact with him, and follow due procedures to effect the claims of your package which contains a winning check of $850,000 dollars (Eight Hundred and fifty thousand united state dollars USD) for your prompt claims.

COMPENSATION AND FINANCE HOUSE HEAD OFFICE Finance and Security House United Kingdom Deposit Firm FSH Towers Chelsea T45H U.K.

At the moment, I am very busy at Sydney, Australia because of numerous assignments which I have to carry out. To that effect, I don’t think you will have the opportunity of communicating with me anymore. All you need to do is reach the compensation agent Mr. Kelvin Green through this e-mail address: deleted email

Finally, remember that I have forwarded instruction to the agent called Mr. Kelvin Green at the finance house on your behalf to send the bank draft to you as soon as you

Contact him without delay. Please I will like you to accept this token with good faith.

Thanks and God bless you and your family.

However, I want you to contact him immediately as soon as you receive this because he will be leaving soon on a very long vacation as he didn’t have any for the past three Years due to over time.

My sincere advice to you as a Christian is that you should Endeavour to pay your tithe to a bible believing church when you get winning check.

We require your information’s to facilitate your claims:

  1. Full Names:
  2. Residential Address:
  3. Phone Number:
  4. Fax Number:
  5. Occupation:
  6. Sex:
  7. Age:
  8. Nationality:
  9. Present Country:

Yours Faithfully

Dr. Grant John*
Aww, what a great guy! As an atheist I can declare that I will absolutely tithe 10% to The Church of the Bible Thumping Flying Pigs** when I get a winning check**.