Bumped for Updates
I can’t believe that I 'fessed up to this in 2006! Would it help if I explained that “Palooka” had just tossed me the keys like ‘Land Rover Guy’ hadin Casino Royale? 
Others I forgot to add:
Age 6, walking down the street with an old fashioned pesticide spray pump. Cue neighbor who nobody liked running out to interrogate me.
“Just What do you think you’re going to do with that?”
“Get rid of… Pests…” cue eye-lock stare back at him
At school in 2nd grade:
“Mr Blucher! Just Why did you throw that snowball at the library window? Its could have broken the glass!”
“You looked like you were asleep. Was I right? You sure jumped high enough.”
“What on Earth possessed you to drop fuses into the Richardson’s car’s gas tank!?”
“I wanted to see how many would top it off…”
"Boy, the bus driver sure looks mad today.’
“Nah, he always looks like that.”
“How come Joe D. always gets answers wrong?”
“Dumb-waves from outer space…?”
“Miss C sure is Hot! How come you get solo parts?”
“Cause I’ll sing an-knee way she wants…”
“Ever notice how Dr’s wives always drive those huge Cadillacs? Why is that?”
“I guess Dr’s have to get them outta the house Somehow.”
“Having you in Sunday School is a Total waste of time…!”
“I’ll second that. Can I leave…?”
“What happened to my GI Joe…?”
“It didn’t walk by me…”
“Do you have any idea how dangerous it is to throw snow-balls at moving cars…?”
“Why do ya think I miss so much…?”
“Do you have any idea just how many times firecrackers have gone off in our mailbox?”
“What’s the prize for the right guess…?”
“The kids I’m tutoring at school don’t believe my five year old brother is passing their tests.”
“That school needs smarter kids.”
“Well…? Do you have any excuse at All…?!”
“Give me a minute…”
"Do you know why your brother gets to go to Boy Scout Camp and You Don’t?’
“…I’ve been Good…?”
“Does anyone know a good way to get rid of Japanese beetles?”
“A magnifying glass.”
“Why did you call to have a pizza delivered to Mrs. Richardson?”
“She looked hungry…”