Landscaping, Architecture, and Babies In Hell (a tasteless game)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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For the purposes of this thread, a few things should be taken as givens:

[ul]
[li]The natural state of all human beings is that of Original Sin.[/li][li]Sinners all go to Hell when they die. No theological making-nice with Limbo, Purgatory, or exceptions for tender ages.[/li][li]Throughout history, many, many, many babies have died before being baptized and/or cleansed of their sinful state. Because of givens above, all of them were sent straight to Hell.[/li][/ul]
This is not intended to be a theological debate. There are no moral judgments against anyone who believes that this is the truth in how the world works, or who does not, or any mixture of them. They shall be taken as givens for the sake of the more important discussion, which is this:

You hold a position of some authority in Hell. You’re not the Adversary itself, you don’t rule the place, but have an important job there that goes unsung:

You’re in charge of landscaping.

Hell is a pretty barren place. The only landscaping materials available other than rock, coals, fire and such are the souls of the damned.

Just because all you fallen angels rebelled against the Highest Throne doesn’t mean you want to live in an unaesthetic place. So this is a challenge, but you’re confident you’re up to it. To narrow down the test, I’m interested in what you’re going to do with all the infant souls for landscaping purposes.

I’ve more of an engineering mindset than an artist’s, so my first thought was to stuff them into the walls of Pandemonium as insulation. Soundproofing wouldn’t work out too well, you might say, all those millions of tortured infants screaming and all, but that’s where the engineering comes in!

The shaping of the slabs of hellrock forming the palace walls would need to be shaped just so, to focus and bounce the echoes of all that noise correctly. Done properly, the soundwaves will cancel each other out into a low whisper; with enough building and packing tweaks, the effect could be similar to windchimes.

That’s a much more utilitarian than artistic approach, I readily admit. I know that many of you are of more artistic talent than I, so how would you approach this problem?

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I get more than five hundred posts and already I’m going senile. I thought I was posting this in MPSIMS. Mods, feel free to move it there, I would if I could.

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Moderator’s note:

You got it, Drastic, and no problem.
You aren’t going senile; happens to everybody sometimes.
Though this one’d make a spiffy corollary to Gaudere’s Law: start a thread about re-engineering hell and it gets in the wrong forum.
(Don’t mean to take a cheap shot. The coincidence just tickled me.)

Probably senile her own self,
TVeblen
for IMHO

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hey, you ever read “Beyond the Blue Moon”? i’m thinking of something along the lines of the ‘holiest room’ in the inverted cathedral.

if you haven’t read it, here’s a discription of how it worked;
originally, the architect of the cathedral charted a room in the cathedral to house all of the holy relics granted it from across the land, including the remains of prophets, shards of the true cross, various consecrated weapons and armor, and an Ark like the one in the indiana jones movie. the architect was wondering what he should do with all this holy stuff, especially the crapload of holy personas, when he thought “jeez! i could build a house with all… these… holy… corpses… hmm…” and so he crafted the room out of the bones of holy men that he had been gifted. when he ran out of people to make the room out of, he scoured the countryside for graves of churchmen, which he defiled for more bones. he used all the spares to create a door to the room, set up a mechanical “breathing” effect for the room’s walls, and create display pillars and racks for all the holy stuff.

i was thinking along these lines for the construction of the rec room for hell.
use the souls to build a floor, walls, and roof. i would use carefully placed and machined shards of hellstone to create the same effect as you mentioned, giving a nice background music to the place.

now, i would set up souls so that when you pushed a specific one, a chair would come up, formed of souls reshaping into the general form of a chair. also, a soul filled with hellfire would lower down and act as a lamp. the perfect reading chair for any demon! there would be a large rank of these so a whole bunch of demons could sit around at the same time. also, some chairs would have different shapes and some holes to accomodate demons with tails, wings, and more than the normal issue of appendages.

if souls have any refracting power, i would have a large optical computer crafted from the souls of the damned. using the same soul mechanics used to create the chairs, you could push a button on the chairs to have a computer terminal rise in front of you, loaded with browsing software and a number of games. Counterstrike turneys in hell! perhaps the system could also be equipped with ROMs of all the new console games from the mortal realm.

and finally, you could create a system to allow any sport to be played in the special all-purpose sports arenas off the main room. push a button, and a net, or pole, or goalposts,or goalie box, or even wickets pop up, crafted of soul. the appropriate ball(s) pop out, crafted of squeezed baby soul or the choice anatomy of an adult male soul. any implements also appear, from lacrosse sticks to golf clubs to baseball bats, all crafted from more choice soul anatomy.

for ice skating and skiing, there would be a couple of massive fields of souls, carefully pressed and polished to create a good winter sports environment, because you can’t get any real ice down there. using some more soul machines, the terrain can be adjusted so each ski is different, and so the same field can be used for skiiers and skaters, just by adjusting the incline depending who is using the place at that time.
each of these rec rooms is huge, and could span multiple square miles, but because hell is infinite and there are probably enough souls for it, there would be hundreds of these places in hell for the demons’ breaks and ‘off duty’ time.

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Ugh. i just realized that those next-to-last two paragraphs sound just like one of those stupid ‘the perfect kid’s room’ articles that “Time” runs every once in a while, so adults can feel superior to the silly little kids who made it with no sense of logistics. please excuse that, it was not intended like that.

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I think that’s appropriate, if you think “Really twisted, way too imaginative kid”.