I tend to use the word “fat” as a descriptor. This really offends people.
Um, yeah. My parents are fat. I studied biology, fat is a thing. Just because the truth hurts doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop using the word.
As for “c_nt” I really don’t get the obscenity. To whom is that really more obscene than “arsehole” or “dickhead”? It’s a thing, half of us have it, most of us have passed through it at one point or another.
Then again, I don’t get the US flag cult either. Alien pieties & taboos are just alien, even if it’s your own c_ntrymen.
As for, “So good they make fat people cry,” I want to say that that’s only offensive because you’ve decided fat is offensive, & if fat were just a descriptor, it would be… like… OK, if someone one’s slogan were, “So good it makes redheads cry,” or “So good it makes Chinamen cry,” I might be offended. Who wants to be a stereotype used for advertising?
Words are offensive because they intend to offend and because the target allows it to offend. And part of that is who’s doin’ the sayin’.
“Yankee” was originally an insult that was adopted as bit of pride-speak.
“Negro” was at first the polite word to use, in preference to “colored”, or “Black” … and then it became mildly offensive and “Black” more polite. OTOH “Nigger” is offensive if spat out by someone who is not Black but is not received as offensive if said by another Black individual - mainly because it is understood that its intended meaning is not the same.
“Fat” is often used as a word to pass negative judgement and it is received as with some degree of self-disapproval or worse. It is hard for any word to function effectively as an insult if the negative connotation does not exist on both sides - perhaps mainly the receiver’s? Hence insults received but never intended.
That said, the bakery owner was using the word in a way that was trying to use fat as the butt of a joke (no stupid “fat-ass” comments please) and even someone who is not insulted by the word his or herself, who is very comfortable with his or her size and build and calls his or herself “fat” all the time, may rightly feel that such usage and intent should be discouraged in the public sphere.
“Cunt” works the same way and I do not get the apparent power that word has, but the fact is that enough people say it and receive it with such intensity that it functions effectively as hateful speech.
So the age old question raises its head again: what’s the best response to a bully? To knock them down or to ignore them as much as is possible?
In this context “knocking them down” equals speaking up and stating clearly that using a word, as an insult, as a put-down, and thereby implying that being that thing is a Bad Thing, is unacceptable. Even if it results in your being called a “fat cunt” for your effort and having “helpful” people volunteer about how being fat is your fault anyway. And “ignoring them” is the same as always - take away the power of the bully by not allowing the word to equal a term of offense, even if it means adopting it as a pride term, as the early Americans did with Yankee, and to no small degree Gays have done with “gay”.
Personally I am of mixed mind. A large part of me reverts to my playground years of knocking bullies down but I do recognize that it may not always be the most effective approach.