As per request of the esteemed pit moderator…
…I would hereby like to declare a giant orgy of sodomy involving consenting homosexuals! Wooo-hooo!
Heck, I’ll even encourage consenting heterosexuals to join in. No clothes, though, and please, no flash photography.
MrVisible rushes off to stake out his place in the hot tub…
I’ll bring the industrial strength bucket of Astroglide.
{SIGH} You know, you try to do a good thing, like invite your queer Doper friends over for a friendly orgy (in the midst of those silly straight folk who insist on smacking each other around in The Pit - and they say our sexual mores are shocking!), and they bump you over to Mundane and Pointless. Fine, fine…
So, anyway, I’ve brought some lovely snacky foods and some chablis, if anybody wants some.
Naked? In the hot tub? Not on your life - if I don’t go naked on Black’s Beach, I ain’t goin’ naked around you pervs. I will use matt as my bathing suit. 
Esprix
you sure know how to get ME to click on a thread title.
I’m a girl…but can I come?
TO THE ORGY I MEAN?
I make a mean lemon bar and I’ve also been told I’m a ‘screamer’.
jarbaby
“Disco 'til Two, Crisco 'til Dawn!”
(actual FFA poster sighted in SF/Castro c. 1980)
Man those Future Farmers of America know how to party.
Hey…if the consenting heterosexual (I presume) females are joining in, can the consenting heterosexual males swing by, too?
Sure thing, Beelz. Now bend over while I go get Esprix.
This seems like the precisely appropriate place to mention a radio commercial I heard this morning.
It was for Yahoo, and involved two rather fratty guys trying to promote an online auction they were having of L. Sprewell memorabilia.
In reading on, remember how 'Sprix is supposed to be pronounced.
“Well, can I auction off these pictures of me and Spree?”
“Yeah.”
“Naked?”
{sounds of spluttering}
Hold on Ah say Hold on there!
Don’t I get to choose which end I consent to being on???
'tis always better to be the sodomizer than the sodomized, I always say
does that mean I can bring a strap on?
jarbaby
I’m not gay … well, okay, maybe there is a hint of bisexuality here but, I might be convinced to sit in here.
I mean, if any of the ladies would like to join me to watch.
No … really … just watch …
:::taps Euty on the shoulder:::
Ahem, Virtual Husband.
Perhaps there’s something we should discuss? Like your “hint” of bisexuality? Because if that’s the case…
…could you wait right here while I run home and get the camera? This I’ve got to see.
Look, I’m not sure if you hare-brained male heterosexuals can read or not, but this is a men’s only event. If you want girls, there are plenty of other threads. I mean, I think even the USSC would uphold our right to have a gay orgy with just men - it is inherent to its nature. So all you wimmin-types - out with you. I’m sure andygirl would be happy to set up a lesbonic orgy thread if y’all are so inclined (and I’d suspect you wouldn’t want any menfolk there, either).
And you straight guys, although we’d like you to take a boner, give some head, or at least lie back and enjoy, if you’re going to be that much of a killjoy and still insist on being here, go off on the sidelines, watch, and mastrubate. If you can’t participate, at least be attractive eye candy for the rest of us.
But no girls.
Oh, and Beelzebubba:
Then you’re not doing it right - either lube up and learn, or get out. I’m sure one of my esteemed colleagues would be happy to show you the ropes (in more ways than one).
Now, then - where were we?
Esprix
Esprix, sweetiepants, didn’t you read the OP?
Perhaps you should read the entire thread before you post?
The key word being “consenting.” If you ain’t consenting to being gay (i.e., making cozy-nice with them wimmin types), then this ain’t your thread. Although I will concede that if there are heterosexual women who are consenting to sodomy, then they ought to be allowed. But just stay over on your side and put up a sheet or something. Ew. Bleh.
Now where’s my matt?
Esprix
Geez, I spend half my life being rejected by women and now I get rejected by gays as well.
Life doth truly suck.
Straight guys - they get mad when you hit on them, they get mad when you don’t.
Just take off your pants and get busy, Eut. We’re not biphobic, we just don’t like girl bits.
Esprix
Okay, how about I have male homosexual-type sex, only with a woman? You down with a little back-door action, jarbabyj?
[sub]And to be clear, I will be pitching, you will be catching.[/sub]
Im in!!! ::bends over::
No, no, no - out, out, out!
Damn straights. I should either get the place sprayed or get them spayed.
Aren’t there any homos in here? Anywhere? <looking around>
Esprix