If you’re an atheist, you’re not going to be inclined to have your last few minutes consumed by a deluded person claiming to be a god. Or is this a slap at the strawman atheist, the valueless hedonist whose lack of a belief system crumbles at the onset of imminent mortality?
And if not, will any last minute god or prophet or avatar do?
If your basis for atheism is rational, wanting a happy ending isn’t enough to justify a belief in that desired happy ending.
Having a three way is on my bucket list, so bring 'em both on.
Am I somehow the only person dying at this moment? Why would Jesus be spending his time with me, the atheist? Seems like a raw deal for those who have spent their lives in service to him. Unless they just get the blowjobs. I suppose it’s kind of like those great deals that your cable company always offers to new customers only.
God’s everywhere so Christ can pray for me out in the hall.
Send in the bimbo.
Perhaps a threesome?
I’d go with the one who knows the difference between *your *and you’re.
I’d choose the guy who says he’s Christ. As others have said, being in a hospital bed with tubes and such attached to me, it’s unlikely I’d be able to enjoy the super-hooker. On the other hand, assuming my brain was functioning, I’d hold off the praying and have one hell of a discussion with the other guy, especially if he was convincing enough to pull off being an actual first century Gallilean, and the biblical Jesus to boot.
Marc
That line is a lot funnier if you apply the NSFW definition found at Urban Dictionary.
There’s also the matter of orgasm as petit mort, the little death.
My luck is that they would hook up and go off together, leaving me to die in a state of horny sin.
I’ll take the death-hooker, thanks.
First one wants to waste my last few minutes with pointless bs. The second wants to get her freak on with me. How is this even a question?
+1. Except that I’d hope that the second one is a guy. I probably wouldn’t be able to achieve orgasm if I’m hooked up to tubes and such, but I could probably use a good cuddle, even in a hospital bed. The only reason I’d want to talk to someone who claimed to be Jesus would be to troll the living shit out of him. I wouldn’t want to pray, I’d want to know the answers to some questions, like why the hell we have chiggers and fleas and mosquitoes? Why do humans have brains if we’re not supposed to use them? And why, why, WHY is there not more smiting going on?
The problem is that there’s a lot of Christians who believe the world is divided up into two groups: people who openly say they’re Christians and people who secretly believe in Christianity but don’t want to admit it out loud. As far as they’re concerned all it takes is a good scare, like being in a foxhole or a deathbed, and those reluctant Christians will open up and admit they believe in Jesus.
It doesn’t work like that. An atheist is no more likely to convert on his deathbed than a Christian is. If you were a devout Christian on your deathbed, how would you react to an Imam showing up and offering you a last chance to become a Muslim?
I’m not hostile to religious believers. If you want to pray for my soul, I’ll thank you for the good intended gesture even if I don’t think it’s accomplishing anything.
Actually, can I have the satisfaction of killing the deluded Christ-fan? I’m gonna die in a few minutes anyway, so what the heck.
I don’t care if it ends up meriting my first ever warning, but I have to say it:
This is the stupidest no-brainer choice I have ever encountered in my ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE.
I will not give you an answer or explanation for it. You KNOW what my answer is, and if I even begin to contemplate how I might justify it to someone who did not immediately understand my choice, MY HEAD MIGHT EXPLODE.
splat
The OP is a form of poll, not a thesis to debate.
Moving from Great Debates to IMHO.
Actually that could be fun, but then again the other choice would be.
If I HAD to choose, I’d pick the guy claiming to be Christ, only because I’d have no interest in having sex with some random person in my dying moments. How messed up would that be?
The Christ guy could at least keep me company and laughing, especially if he actually believed he WAS Christ. I’d ask him to perform some miracles for me and laugh at his excuses for why he couldn’t perform any.
I love that everyone assumes that “pleasure… beyond your wildest dreams and most sensual fantasies” is a blow job. I would hope to have far more ambitious expectations in the circumstances.