Latchkey Kids - Were you one? Do you have one?

In My Humble Opinion
21

My sister and I were more or less on our own after our mother died; I was 7 and she was a few months shy of 9. My father made arrangements for us to check in with a neighbor when we got home from school, but otherwise we were left to our own devices. We were never in an unsafe situation but we should not have been left together because we fought viciously. I just wanted to read and make dinner; she just wanted to play the piano, but we could not get along.

Like congodwarf, I was astonished at the other kids who had to ask permission to eat food! or even to *come into their own homes! * I remember being outside with other kids and them telling me they weren’t allowed to come home until 5 o’clock or whatever time. If they wanted a glass of water *they had to knock. * :eek:

We probably should have had adult supervision just to separate us but I don’t think my father could have afforded it. I didn’t know at the time how heavy my mother’s medical bills had been, but a referee could have made a big difference.

22

I was never a latchkey kid myself, or only a few times in a year when my mother had to be somewhere else for an hour or so at about the time we were walking home from school. (I was never taken to school though, nor met off the bus - we went and came back by ourselves after the first day at each new school/bus stop.)

Now my kids are sort of semi latchkey kids. That is, I teach English in my school which is half of our downstairs. I am teaching at the time they both get home (about 4:30 for the ten year old and about 7 pm for the 13 year old.) I usually am finished between 7 and 8 pm. The kids walk home from the bus stop about a mile and a half away (the ten year old) and school (ten minutes walk for the 13 year old.) I can’t supervise them, go and get them if it is raining, pick them up if they are sick. They MUST get back by themselves. I do draw the line at real sickness like last week when I had to cancel two classes to pick up my kid with staples in the back of his head after an accident at school…

They are also under strict orders not to bother me when teaching. They must come in the school entrance and let me know they are back, or I get all twitchy wondering where they are, but after that from whatever time they get in till whatever time I finish, they must be quiet and keep out of the way. The biggest trouble they ever get into is if they fight and I have to leave the classroom to separate them. (It always seems to happen when there’s a paying parent observing…)

It does affect them badly in that their homework is often sketchily done, the younger one is lonely as he spends a good couple of hours alone right after school and if anything horrible/wonderful has happened that day he can’t tell me about it straight away so it eats at him. The good thing is that both are self sufficient, the older one (sort of, roughly!) looks after the younger one, they have learned to fight quietly-ish, and they can both cook basic stuff for themselves if they get too hungry to wait for me to finish. Sometimes they even make me something!

23

I was routinely a latchkey kid starting sometime in the middle of elementary school. My mother didn’t work, but she volunteered as a docent at an art gallery 2-3 days a week, and wouldn’t get home on those days until maybe 2 hours after school was out.

Since as a general rule, I preferred my mother’s absence to her presence, I had no problem with that.

24

My father died in a car crash when I was 5, after which my mother had to go back to work. Initially the neighbor watched us (me and my younger sister) when we came home from school, but that stopped when I got to be around 7 or 8. I was a latch key kid from then on out.

The neighbor a few doors up the street didn’t work, so she was our emergency contact if something went wrong, but nothing horrible ever happened. We always knew that she was there, but we never once had to run to her because of any sort of emergency or anything.

I walked about a mile to and from school. We rode the bus (public transportation) when we wanted to go somewhere, if we had the money. If we didn’t have the money we walked. In the summer we would walk or sometimes ride the bus to go swimming at the public pool about 3 miles away.

25

Yeah, I hung a key on a string around my neck and walked home every day for as far back as I can remember. When I moved to a different school I took the bus, and by then I was responsible enough to carry the key.

26

Yup, from about grade 4 on. Big brother was much older than me and went off to university. However, I lived on a farm/acreage so there wasn’t that much fear of strangers, plus I called my mom every day at work when I got home or else she’d go batshit. No, seriously, one day on the way to work she saw a hobo walking in the ditch alongside the highway heading towards where we lived and she left work early to make it home before me because she was afraid the hobo was crazy and waiting for me at the house.

I was good at occupying my time. A lot of people I know regret not having ever lived on their own and they don’t know how to live without anyone else around, whereas I kind of regret never having lived with roommates other than my family. I have no idea what’s going to happen if I ever fall in love and get married, I don’t know how to live with other people.

27

I came home to babysitters until I turned eleven and it was legal for me to be home alone. My parents both left before me in the morning, too. The worst thing that ever happened was that I forgot about the time and missed my bus to school… a neighbor driving her kids to school saw me running after it, and picked me up. After that I went to her house in the morning.

I didn’t like the babysitters and would like to be home for my kids at least until they’re old enough to be there alone. Once I got to be that age, though, I really enjoyed the time in the house. It taught me to entertain myself and gave me lots of time to explore hobbies I liked. Um, and to watch bad TV.

28

Yes, I was from the first generation of latchkey kids. It was a three-block-ish walk home from school, through a ghetto, and I had strict instructions to go straight home, do not pass Go, do not talk to strangers, etc.

I was instructed to deadbolt the door, and to not answer the door for anyone for any reason. Nor was I to answer the phone. Mammahomie would call and let it ring once, then I was to call her back. She would call every day about the time I was expected to be home, and then again when she was leaving from work.

I was not to turn on anything other than the lights and the TV. Otherwise, sit quietly, watch TV, do my homework, and stay out of trouble.

This all started in first grade.

29

I was never a latchkey child. My father did have a job which required him to be away from the house several days a week, so it was my mother and myself, which most of the time was OK. My mother was much better at giving me limited independence. My father wanted to know where I was and always wanted me to be with him, which was a pain since he never did anything fun or what I would consider remotely interesting.

I was an only child. My mother had three children, a brother who died of menengitis when he was 8 before I was born and another baby shortly after me which died to me of unknown causes. I did not learn about baby brother until I was in high school, but that’s another story.

Because of this, they were protective of me, too protective at times, although they let me do semi dangerous shit like go karts, fireworks, driving a tractor and whatnot. However, they were micromanaging my life with my father trying to puch me either into his job field, or other things which I basically lacked interest.

Some parts of me would have liked to have been one because of the fact that I could do what I wanted to do with minimal adult interference. Honestly, I would of thrived, THRIVED without parents over my every move. I would not have to be afraid of physical punishment most of the time. I would of learned, like the OP to take the bus, go to the store, avoid conflicts and weirdos, cook, many things. I would of learned about life a lot sooner if it was more in my face instead of being insular like it was at my house.

Having ONE parent that loved me but left me alone but with expectations like bring decent school grades home, keep the house clean, make mom dinner once a week (because it was her house) and dont be an ass, there would not have been problems. Especially if I had a cool parent who allowed me to grow into my own self, instead of trying to mold me. (which 98% of the time doesn’t work and leads to problems.)

I really do not need a lot of people in my life. My only friend I have is my wife, who I adore more than anything. I have had friends, but they come and go, and I am too lazy to make more close relationships. I do have a few people to call if I was ever in jail or trouble. But I like doing things by myself, I like to be left alone. People are stressful. I would have loved after a day of being in some school around a bunch of shitass kids and tired, cranky teachers teaching worthless garbage I’ll never use, to be able to come home, lock the door and watch TV. Go to my latchkey girlfiend’s house for a booty call. Cook a dish for her I made myself. Go home. Do my homework and go to bed.

I would of loved to have been a latchkey kid. I would of been a healthier adult.

30

As the youngest kid of five, I had too many older sibs to ever be a latchkey kid! Not to mention that the only job (in my lifetime) my Mom had was a home-based business, which gave her a lot of flexibility. I do remember times when I was little (maybe 6?) that for some reason, no one else was home, and Mom wouldn’t be home for another 20 minutes or so-she’d have me call my aunt (who lived about 20 minutes away) and stay on the phone with her until Mom could get home!

My youngest daughter, though, is a latchkey kid, at least part-time. I am the full-time caregiver for my sister, who is undergoing treatment for breast cancer. My sis’s doctors are 35-40 minutes away, and since they are so far, she tries to schedule more than one medical appointment in a day. Therefore, there are at least a couple of days a week when my 10YO daughter comes home from school, and I’m not home. Sometimes she’s only on her own for an hour, but sometimes it’s more like four or five hours, depending on the circumstances.

I always let her know when I’m not going to be home when she gets there. She calls me on my cell phone when she gets home, just to check in. I tell her if I’m not going to be home for dinner, and if I’m not, what she can fix.

She’s a good kid. At worst, I fear she snacks more when I’m not home than she would if I were. We have an apartment building nearly full of tenants, and she knows which ones she can feel safe going to if she has a real problem.

31

I loved being a latchkey kid. Having the house to myself for a few hours after school each day felt like bliss. Yes, I had some chores to do - I often cooked dinner, but I could just chill out for a bit when I got home, and I really liked it.

32

The term didn’t exist when I was a kid, but I would certainly be described as one, as would many of my friends. After I had gone through the first few grades of school, my mother went back to work, so the house would be unoccupied when I got home. I walked home from school, a distance of 1-2 miles (and I would sometimes stop at the dentist’s on my way home, if I had an appointment that day. He was right downtown, and through downtown was one possible route home). We kept the key in the milk box (we still had milk delivered by the dairy).

When I got home, I’d usually have a bowl of cereal and watch TV or read magazines until my father got home.

33

My brother and I walked the half block down from the school to my grandparents house, where we were alone until around five when my grandpa came home from work. My grandmother would be home from her job around six, and my mom had alternating hours so sometimes we didn’t go home until ten at night.

This started when I was in kindergarten and he was in sixth grade. It was his job to watch after me, but once he hit seventh grade hormones took over and he let me in, then left me alone while he went around the corner to visit his girlfriend. I was instructed never to tell. I idolized my brother so I probably never said a word. I didn’t care as long as I had my Ritz crackers and cheese, a glass of Tang and** Ultraman.**

34

I had a babysitter from K-2nd grade or so. Then I went to the rec center after school, a friends house or practice until my parents got off work and came and picked me up. I was living on an air force base so there wasn’t a lot of trouble I could get into just some fights. In the summers my mom would drop us off at the pool when she went to work and we had to be at her office when she got off work but were free to do what ever in between which normally meant we stayed at the pool.

In 6th grade we moved back to the States and I became the typical latch key kid I’d see myself off to school, originally I was also responsible for my sister but I was quickly banned from the school bus so I had to ride my bike while my sister was still able to ride the bus. I had a paper route after school so I was busy after school. I just had to call my parents and let them know where I was so they wouldn’t come home wondering where I was. Once I was in high school my dad would drop me off at school in the mornings and pick me up after he got off of work and I was done with practice. Once I got a car I was back on my own and drove my sister and a couple of other kids in the neighborhood to school but they got home on their own since I was always in one sport or another.

I had a couple of friends who had a parent who always at home but normally we’d just swing by their place and check in a leave to do our own thing. Despite having a job I never had any money so we just rode our bikes and played in parks and explored or watched TV and played video games.

35

Whoever it was that said it’s okay unless there are older brothers around hit it on the head from my experience as a latchkey child. My older brother was into everything, and eventually “shared” all of it with me. There was also abuse. I don’t blame him - I blame my parents for leaving us alone from about the age of 7 on. Heck, I don’t even have memories of my parents from my childhood - only my brother.

Last month, after 30 years battling addictions that began for him as a latchkey child, he took his life. I never had children, but if I had, I would never have left them alone like that. Children need love and guidance - full stop.