When DH was in the Army Reserve, and they came out with the current standard uniform, the ACUs (the digital print), we got a piece of paper with care instructions, and in bold all-caps was not to use dryer sheets or fabric softener with them.
I asked around, and never got an official answer, but what everyone who had an answer “knew” (it could be a UL, but it was the only answer I ever heard, and I heard it from some high-ups), that waxy coating from at least some brands of fabric softeners will fluoresce, making you very easy to spot, and defeating the purpose of the uniform that blends into the background.
In regard to soaking, I don’t have a soak cycle on my machine, because it’s a little apartment efficiency machine that attaches to the sink, but if I shut it off right after it fills, or after one or two minutes of agitation, I get “soak.” For as long as I want. I realize that some full-sized machines automatically drain if they are shut off during a cycle, but one way around that is this: instead of using the dial to shut it off, open the lid. If you have a cat, maybe place a cookie sheet or something over it.
I use “soak” when I need to get odors out of things. Having had a few geriatric cats, and not-yet-housebroken puppies, and a human boy who is a bit of a klutz, and tends toward spills, this has been a concern. Soaking with baking soda in the water (COLD) before the odor has a chance to set usually prevents it from setting at all. If it’s dried, it’s harder to get out, and usually requires a very long soak in Odo-ban or Febreeze for pet odors, then a couple of wash cycles, but it’s possible.
Also, I have never used as much detergent as the bottle says. Of course the company is going to tell you to use as much as it can get away with-- it wants you to buy more. I usually start out with half, and that does it. Considering that I have read studies that running laundry through a plain water cycle gets stuff nearly as clean as a cycle with detergent, I’m not worried. If something is especially dirty, what it needs is a longer cycle-- or a double cycle, not extra detergent. It might need spot treatment as well, but not extra detergent in the whole load.
The only time I ever use a lot of detergent is when I have a big oil spill on something (which around here, comes up more often than you might think)-- motor oil or cooking oil, it matters not-- detergent breaks it down, but it breaks down itself in the process.