the person checking in will insist in paying cash , only after you balanced the cash drawer and done the drop for the night.
And paying with $100 bill(s), ensuring that you have no change in your drawer…
And Jeff Foxworthy was right: Infants are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt.
Yup! Also your cooking gas bottle will only run out on Sundays and Public Holidays when of course you’ve invited a dozen people over and specifically told them not to bring anything - you’re cooking! It runs out when you’re one third way though cooking the roast. You join a convoy of vehicles searching for gas.
Re: the cheating thread … your wife will only discover a pair of rogue womens knickers in the laundry when she’s 4 months pregnant and you’re about to be deployed.
Yes, ivan, yes. The wind bit also works with snow. I have actually stopped walking as the snow was hitting my face, turned around and felt no snow hitting my face, started walking backwards specifically to prove my point, and then have the wind say, “Nice try, sucker. Ha ha, I mock you! I’m going to blow snow in your face no matter what you do!” Wind: 1,296,358/Me: 0.
Work related that I was just talking about yesterday: Without fail, any time I take a day off, the horrible, ugly, monstrous thing that’s been sitting on my desk for months will suddenly have to be done the day I am off, and I will not be informed of such urgency until roughly 4:00PM the day before I’m gone, with *no *prior indication of a finalization date until then. This results in me staying late, having to try to fill everyone else in on what’s going on so that it can get done in my absence.
I’m actually certain that they do this on purpose. “Quick! She’s gone! Let’s ram this through the door while she’s not looking!”
Any checkout line I stand in will immediately come to a halt.
Remembering this rule has kept me from killing many fellow shoppers, and not a few clerks. While the clerk stares at a coupon as though it were a bomb fuse, or the customer sorts through the contents of a gigantic wallet for a second credit card after the first is refused, or can’t get off the phone long enough to hand over payment, or demands to know why the canned regular peas are on sale but the canned petit peas are not, I control the Fist of Death by mentally chanting “It’s not them, it’s Murphy.”
It does not matter that you have found no use for that object in 8 freaking years. If you put it into a trunk, in the attic, you will need it within a week.
Also:
Wear white pants and you’ll surely meet a black cat, and the inverse, wear black pants and you’ll meet a white dog. Every freaking time!
Hmm, that’s odd. I see some people’s sigs, at least, sometimes I do, although it does appear that I am not seeing any in this thread now. I wasn’t even aware that there is an option to turn them on or off, and I just looked for it and failed to find it. You don’t need to quote it for me, though. I found it by clicking through your name to your profile.
The waiter or waitress will always ask you how things are whenever you have food your mouth and cannot talk.
You didn’t know the trick was to stand on the other side? Shame on you. ( You need to find bus stops directly opposite each other for it to work, I should add.)
I hate that one. I am often tempted to throw decorum to the wind and open my mouth and talk so they can see my half chewed food.
The black cat/white cat thing always works for me because I have one of each.
Apologies if this is already part of the laws.
“Last drop of urine always falls in the innerwear .”
Sex tapes always seem to come back to haunt people
You sound as if you are speaking from experience? Cite?
I keed, I keed!
Unless it’s true, then, cite, or site.
After waiting for a bus for whatever amount of time, the second you light up a cigarette, the bus will appear.
My friends believe so strongly in this rule that they will encourage me to light up whenever we’re at a bus stop.
No, poor, deluded Ivan, just thinking of something from headlines of trashy gossip magazines
Yes, I’ll vouch for that one.
Alas! 
Ah, no. You see, the time it does NOT work is the time you have done it deliberately in order to invoke the bus.
Ah, erm… I forgot to mention. It’s not the actual lighting of the cig it is dependent upon - it is just as you are starting to enjoy the cig that the bus turns up, so HNC was nearly right and I was wrong to agree without the proviso mentioned above.
Yes. There is absolutely nothing you can do to get around this law. Pick the shortest line? Wrong. It’s probably short because everyone left. It contains the world’s slowest and chattiest cashier, the world’s couponiest and check-writingest customer, and the guy at the end of the eleven person line to your right will be out of there before you are. Pick the longest line? Wrong again. There’s no way you’ll be out of there faster if you pick the longest line, idiot. Pick the medium sized line? Still wrong just because. Pick the line that appears to be moving the fastest? Why are you still trying to win this game? You lose.
Very true. We could have a thread about rules of transportation alone. Yes, the creepy guy will *always *sit next to you.