I was in a lawyers office the other day. This guy is a self appointed big shot in town (El Paso, TX) and anyway while I was at the office I started getting antsy and he offered the use of his bathroom.
When I went in, the room was all green. Green tiles, green rugs, green sink, green toilet, even green light bulbs. Great, I was going to take a dump in the Emerald City set. There was a stereo speaker in the corner, near the ceiling, and acoustic guitar music softly wafted into the room. And then while I was on the “drivers seat” if you will I noticed next to the toilet, a stack of well “read” soft core skin magazines was on the table across from me.
And when I finished, the flush was so powerful I was nearly sucked in and made county wastewater management property.
When I exited from the room, the lawyer, who was walking down the hall winked and drawled “I just had it remodelled, nice huh?”.
Well I felt thuroughly wierd, and later that day confided in a friend at work about that bathroom experience I had. He gave me this look like I was the biggest rube on the planet, and said “Haven’t you ever been in a lawyers bathroom before?” I do work for a retired judge, and have been in several lawyers’ offices, but never had I felt the need to use a lawyer’s bathroom before.
So do all lawyers have extravagantly tacky bathrooms?
Or is this just a West Texas thing…
[South Park]
Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here.
[/South Park]
From what I’ve seen of El Paso, that bathroom seems like it’s the only thing in town that is green.
This reminds me of a short piece in the old SPY magazine about a guy who had a chance to make Number Two in Donald Trump’s personal crapper.
When he went in, he noticed that the terlet paper had been carefully folded so that the dangling end had a sharp creased point. Nifty, he thought, just like inna big fancy hotel!
After doing his business and washing up, he returned to whatever other business he had at the Trump household…but after two minutes or so, he realized he’d left something in the john (a pen or notebook or something) and went back to get it.
The toilet paper had already been carefully *re-folded and re-creased into another sharp point!