Dopers in the Uk will be familiar with the “Innovations” catalogue, I’m sure they have similar things in the US.
The kind of things that fall our of your sunday paper and that sell copper bracelets, carpet slippers with lights in the toe to end “stubbed toe misery”, and various weird and wonderful gizmos you never knew you needed.
Well, I was flicking through one of these things and saw “leaf wipes” to end your “dusty plant nightmare”.
And I thought to myself, what kind of weirdo needs SPECIAL wipes to clean their plants, if dusty plants even feature as a blip on their domestic radar?
What the hell is wrong with a bit of damp kitchen towel?
It’s obviously catering to a niche market of people who have nothing more fulfilling to do with their lives than worry about dirty aspidistras.
Like my mother’s fridge magnet says:
Only Dull Women Have Clean Houses.
Are these magazines fulfilling a need or exploiting people with OCD and germ phobias? I don’t know, but it makes me sad wondering.
I think this falls into the category of Useless Stuff People Might Just Blow Their Money On. I see similar things in catalogs here all the time. For instance, there’s one catalog full of variously shaped, form-fitting plastic containers for such foodstuffs as hot dogs, crackers, or bacon. Like you couldn’t just cover them with plastic wrap or something.
I’d rather spend my hard-earned cash on the important things in life. Like electronics.
Check out the catelogs that they have on airplanes sometime. Same concept but this shit is geared for the businessman traveller. GPS alarm clocks that tell the time in the country you’re in, portable fold up putting greens, “magnet power” shoe insoles and other assorted useless crap.
I think you can buy water at a store near you Manduck. You don’t have to send away for it. I always get the dehydrated stuff myself. It lasts just forever on the pantry shelf and it doesn’t go bad. It’s another one of those miracle products.
"Prevents premature spoilage! Like it has a little timer “Oh, these hot dogs are old enough. Let 'em spoil now!” Gotta keep your spoilage on a schedule.
And it “prevents food interaction” because you don’t want your hot dogs fraternizing with the condiments and formenting insurection.
Semi-hijack on the leaf-wiping: When we first enrolled our kids in a Montessori school, they showed us a video of what life was like at a Montessori, so we would know what to expect. One of the “activities” they used to draw kids out of their shell and give them something to do was cleaning the leaves of plants with wet q-tips.
Only dull women have clean houses. This could very well be true. I worked with a woman who cleaned UNDER THE FRIDGE every week. She made the bed before she went to the bathroom every morning. Every facet of her home was perfect. But she was NO FUN. No fun at all.
I make the bed before I go to the bathroom in the morning. But, I do a pretty shoddy job of it. The bed-making, I mean, not the bathroom-going. Well, okay, that too.
BTW, thanks Rue, the dehydrated stuff is working out great!
