No, you loser-- just because your car alarm went off when my door tapped your car doesn’t mean any scratches on it are my fault. If you park 5 inches from everyone’s driver-side door, I bet you got keyed.
Now, go turn yourself in to the police for making a false accident report, and when the insurance company turns down your claim, I hope the cost of restoring your paint job means your husband docks your allowance, you stuck-up self-righteous suburban whore.
Sounds good, how about a lil more background.
Loser jerk parks her new Subaru “Outback” (as if) so close it is physically impossible to get into my car without tapping (I mean it) her car. Her hair-trigger alarm goes off, and she, in earshot (like the rest of the state) comes down and asks if I know what happened to make her alarm go off. I tell her, and she (apparently) takes down my license plate and goes down to the police station.
There is just no way that I scratched her car. Physically impossible. It was a tap, and neither car was moving. And she has rubber thingies on her door.
Nonetheless, I get a call from a police officer saying she says I scratched her car and she’s filed an accident report.
What a loser.
I can only guess she had some previous damage she hopes my insurance will pay for. Fat chance.
Sounds like a bitch, good luck!
Your only course now is REVENGE!!!Find where she lives and go set her car alarm off all night. If she filed an accident report , then all you need is a copie because her address will be on it. Then get a bit of rope to tie to her bumper. Then you just give it a good tug to make the car wiggle a bit and laugh as she comes running out side every 10 mins. It helps if the rope is long ehough so that you can stay out of sight while you set off her alarm.
An alternative would be to warm up some crisco and put it into a spray bottle. Keep the bottle warm enough to keep the crisco liquid. Then under the cover of darkness , spray a thick coat of liquid crisco on all of her windows. The cold air will make it sloidify again, but it will look like ordinary window frost. Unfortunately for her it is IMPOSSIBLE to get off by scrapeing or using the windshield wipers. THe only thing that will get it of is lots of hot soapy water. It isnt destructive, just irritateing.
Could you let us know when you grow up, BURNER? Thanks.
Sorry that happened to you, nogginhead - one of my most frequent annoyances is when someone parks so close that it’s impossible to open my car door without bumping their car.
BURNER, I think you’re off your medication.
Ah BURNER, you know what I’ve found? The best revenge is spelling well.
Oh, I don’t know, lno, I kinda liked the Crisco idea. Nothing’s wrong with a little revenge now and then.
I feel the same way, but I’m trying to reform. I’m sticking with suggesting to my insurance company that the claim is fraudulent and letting her get herself into trouble.
I agree. If that doesn’t work, then find out where your insurance guy lives and …
[sub]… searching the files … lessee here … 9th grade … [/sub]
Ah! Here we are …
The Crisco trick you detail above can also be performed with Speed Stick or any similar deodorant product. Or so I’ve heard.
You might as well go ahead and leave a flaming bag of shit on her doorstep.
Ha ha! Because then you ring the bell, and she comes out and sees the fire, and she stomps on it to put it out, and now she’s got shit on her foot!
Oh that’s rich.
“Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!”
The Dukes of Hazzard used to do it all the time.
Yes, but they had to impress Daisy. You could tell they didn’t enjoy doing that at all. Plus, my windows were closed (it being New England in February) and I’d still have had to climb onto the roof to get in…
For lno ,jarbabyj,and Larry Mudd. Its not like I suggested takeing her lug nuts or seting her car on fire. It is just a couple of practical jokes fer christ sake!! I am glad you found the sticks I lost this moring, now would you kindly take them out of your asses.
C’mon! Pranks are funny! I myself would just burn down her house.
In seriousness though, I don’t see a lot of harm in talking about pranks that will just about guaranteed not be executed, if it helps someone release some steam about something they got heated about. Cocoa powder is your friend by the way…
I just thought I would mention that I found myself laughing out loud at a post for the first time ever when I read Cervaise’s.
Thank you. I guess it was something about the italics.
(snork) (snork)
(giggle)
