Least romantic Valentine's Gift EVER - I win

On occasions that are thankfully rare, my partner has severe bouts of vertigo that leave him unable to move and extremely nauseous. Last time it happened, he asked me to get a bowl in case he vomited.

Thinking I was doing the most helpful thing, I dashed off to get a big plastic bucket for the side of the bed - only to find that while I had run off to the cleaning closet, he somehow managed to claw his way to the kitchen to get a bowl.

I thought it was weird that he rejected the bucket, but he explained that when the vertigo is at its worst, even moving enough to lean over the side of the bed to aim for a bucket on the floor is unbearable. At least the bowl, while awkward, can sort of be sort of tucked under his chin and doesn’t require any movement.

I figured there had to be a solution out there, and sure enough, there is - soft, disposable, stackable “emesis bags” held open with a stiff plastic ring at the top. They’re made for people with severe motion sickness or coping with chemotherapy. Perfect!

Valentine’s Day is tomorrow, so I got him a package. He can keep a few stashed in his bedside table.

Because nothing says “I love you” like a gift of vomit bags. Top that one, Dopers!

I can’t top that, but it reminds me of my wife, who is very practical. Which I love about her, but it makes it hard to buy gifts for her. Once early on in our marriage I asked her what she wanted for Christmas, and she said ‘a vacuum cleaner’. I said, no, really. She said yes, really, she needed a new vacuum cleaner, so that is what she really wanted for Christmas.

I said, ‘if you need a new vacuum cleaner let’s go out and buy one now, but I’m NOT getting you a vacuum cleaner for Christmas.” I could imagine her getting with friends, family or coworkers afterward— “so, what did you get for Christmas?” “Well, my husband got me a vacuum cleaner”. “Oh, I’m so sorry. He sounds like a real prize!” “No, that’s what I wanted”. “Sure it was, honey. You don’t have to stick up for that loser”.

Can’t top the OP either but one year when my wife and I were first living together she got me a Stanley 25’ tape measure for Valentine’s Day – nothing else, just the tape measure. I still have no idea what prompted her to do that as I’m not particularly handy and had expressed no interest in a tape measure.

Those emesis bags however are very handy. They’re especially good for people with kids: keep a few in the car, one or two in the diaper bag, etc. They really are one of those things that you don’t need very often but when you do, there’s rarely a better alternative. The right tool for the job and all that.

Damn, after reading the first three paragraphs of the OP, my fingers were itching to suggest that emesis bags are your solution. But you’ve already discovered that, so I’ll just add that they are great. Better than a bucket or bowl, and MUCH better than kneeling in front of the toilet. Your partner should be very happy.

The best gifts aren’t always the most traditionally romantic. Thoughtfulness counts.
As an aside, if your partner has BPPV (benign paroxysmal positional vertigo), you might ask your doctor about Epley or Semont maneuvers. These are series of motions that you can easily do at home that sometimes provide very quick relief for the vertigo. (I was an ER doc and these came in handy in the ol’ ER.)

I am pretty sure Carvel (USA soft-serve ice cream franchise) used bought-wholesale emesis basins in which to serve their Banana Barges?

Yup, those are apparently like magic for benign paroxysmal vertigo; I know a couple of people who use the maneuvers, and I suspect I will need to myself at some point. Thank you for mentioning it, all Dopers of a certain age should make sure they’re aware of BPV and how to handle it.

(The really bad vertigo he gets seems to be Meniere’s, alas.)

Did you get the ones with little hearts on them?

When we were first dating my now-husband used to drive 2.5 hours one way to visit me on weekends. For our first Valentine’s day I got him…an EZ Pass transponder. He still has it.

A year later on Valentine’s he bought me a marriage license.

The hearts go on the decorative wrapping.

As a Meniere’s sufferer myself, I think you are positively dreamy!

I can think of few gifts more romantic than a set of barf bags. That’s not irony; I’m being totally serious.

It’s easy to “be in love” when everything’s sunshine and roses. But when you stick with your partner even when they’re puking their guts out, and do everything you can to help them through it, that’s True Love.

Foxtrot 2/14/09, if the link doesn’t work.

Originally posted by Roger Fox
“And for the love of my life, a new extension cord!”

What Mr. Rilch and I always say to each other on V-day. And often when we’re looking for an extension cord.

When I was in Basic Training, I asked for some cough drops (HOLD, no longer available) that contained dextromethorphan, which happened to arrive on Valentine’s Day. We were allowed to carry cough drops, and weren’t allowed to have candy, so a lot of people carried cough drops that were cherry or honey-lemon flavored for a sweet-fix. People thought the cough drops were for that purpose, and a nice gift.

They weren’t actually a gift at all, at least not for the holiday, which I don’t celebrate, because in the back of my head, I’m hearing “SAINT Valentine’s Day,” but that would have been a pretty unromantic gift, if they had been. Don’t top emesis bags, but they’re up there.

I’m familiar with the bags-- I had stomach surgery once, and I also had some bedside when I was in labor, and then post-emergency c-section. I was told to sit up as much as possible, though, to avoid inhaling puke. Nice thought.

I had two dinky skin tags under my arm when I was first married, ones that my husband HATED and would flick/pull/twist endlessly.

I had them cut off and the dermatologist placed them in a small vile after which I wrapped it up as a Valentine’s Day gift.

(Gah, I can’t believe I actually admitted that in a public forum.)

That was a pretty vile gift.

I’m not typing on my phone any longer. :-/ ::horrified::

I think we’d get along well. Practical stuff makes me genuinely happy - I am the kind of person who feels great calmness and joy wash over me in a hardware store. (For my 15th birthday, I asked my parents for a heavy-duty stapler.)

Meh, phones make correspondence interesting.

That was an awesome gift. You got rid of two irritants. Something that irritated your husband who then irritated you with obnoxious behavior. Good for you!