Least romantic Valentine's Gift EVER - I win

… and Skin Tags In a Gift Jar pulls strongly from behind. She’s neck and neck with Barf Bags For My Beloved

[I truly didn’t think the OP was going to have any *real* competition here :wink: ]

Well played, @Madam_Librarian !

I think I should concede. Skin tags have a certain…organic quality…that plastic bags lack.

Just give it time…

Heh, well, thank you.

My husband never did do romantic, so it seemed like a practical gift he might appreciate!

:smiley: Oh, the stories I could tell about his obnoxious behavior!

Do tell…

Okay, I initially read this as Carvel bought used emesis basins to serve their sundaes. Which is so much worse.

My personal advice on this issue (throwing up in things not buying valentines gifts) is to recommend going to a dollar store and buying a box of gallon-sized freezer bags. You can keep one nearby when you’re feeling ill and if you have to throw up in it, you just zip up the seal and toss the whole thing in the garbage.

Just a sampling –

Said to me upon me learning of his long-time affair with his secretary: “You don’t know what it’s like to make love to someone you’re really in love with.”

Said to me, upon my waking up from surgery: “I was praying the doctor would make a mistake and you’d die.”

Said to my OB, when he (my OB) called to tell him I was in the hospital and perhaps he might want to come and be with me upon the occasion of a miscarriage and D&C: “Why? Why do I need to be there? Aren’t you taking care of things?”

Said to me when our daughter, born at 26 1/2 weeks died: “Eh. . it doesn’t affect me at all.”

Said to me on the occasion of my MA commencement when asked if he’d be attending: “Why should I go? It’s not as if you’ve attended a good school.” (He attended Princeton at 16.)

Said to me when I mentioned our love life had cooled: “Haven’t you learned anything? When you wear dresses, you’re rewarded with sex. When you wear jeans, no sex. Pavlov’s dogs learned it faster than you did.”

Obnoxious enough? But, there’s more!

Yikes. Does the Dan Savage acronym DTMFA sound like it might apply here?

(DTMFA = Dump The Mother Fucker Already, a standard piece of advice given when people write with woes related to an incurably insensitive partner.)

Why in the world is he still your husband?

@CairoCarol Oh, it belongs 100%!

Unbelievably, I stayed WAY too long in this marriage. Once I figured out it was really ok to leave – and despite filing for divorce eight years ago – my attorney (my second) can’t seem to get me divorced!

@JaneDoe42 The answer is multifaceted but I think it boils down to a few answers (and you’ll see that I’m TRYING to divorce him):

  1. Raised Catholic. I was in it for the long haul. (I know better now.)
  2. When I first filed, he threatened me, saying a) “he was going to make sure I ended up with nothing,” b) “I’d never see the kids again,” and c) he was going to kill himself if I left
  3. The amount of time and energy trying to divorce him (multiple times) was a war of attrition
  4. I, naively, attributed his behavior as one-offs and, apparently, either refused to or couldn’t see his behavior as patterns of abuse. (My bad.)

I wish someone would have knocked me upside the head a long time ago.

I had a relationship like that. Twice. Same guy. Then he came back for a third time and I finally said no. I’ve had to say it several times. I think he believes me now. Once, when I was angry at him he asked me if I was on the rag. I asked, “Did it ever occur to you that I’m angry because you are being an asshole?” It didn’t faze him for more than 2 minutes. So glad I’m shed of him.

Best of luck and and good lawyering to you.

This nurse of 40+ years heartily agrees with your suggestion. A minor tweak: buy brand name gallon freezer bags, the kind with the little zipper slides so the bag o’ barf is easy to close without leaks and stays that way. Worth a few pennies.

Not sure you should have that in your con column.
He sounds like a nightmare - his treatment of you is way beyond “obnoxious”.
I really do hope you can get far away from him.

@tuesdayweld @carnut

Thanks for the validation. For so long, even my immediate family couldn’t see how this mild-mannered man was my worst nightmare – and even today, I have a sibling and two nephews who are friends with him.

I am safely 1400 miles away from him (he returned to his home state of Kansas), hoping and praying we can end this legal quagmire before I die of old age!

(Sorry for the thread drift! Geez. . . )

These aren’t for Valentine’s Day, but I hope they will amuse.

On my birthday my grandmother gave me a book called ‘Chess for beginners.’
Of course I knew she meant well - but I had already finished in the top 10 in the British Chess Championship earlier that year.

When a girl-friend gently broke up with me, she sent me a sweet letter and a present of aftershave.
At the time I had a full beard and moustache.
I thought this was a strong hint to shave, but she told me later that she just wanted to show that she wanted to stay friends (and was jolly embarrassed afterwards with her actual choice.)

Nope, perfectly good use of us to blow off steam with. It’s good for you. Glad you did.

I too am in solidarity with you and hope you get legally shorn of him and his vile abuse tout suite. I’m doing a wee little happy dance that he’s 1400 miles away from you-that’s at least something.

It’s MPSIMS, if threads can’t drift here, where can they drift?

I for one am dismayed and fascinated by your story.