If you’re feeling like your child would be better off without you, no matter how old the child is, you should probably be seeking some kind of professional help.
Mood and anxiety disorders in general are treatable, and they’re not the fault of the person who has them. If someone has PTSD because they were abused as a child, I wouldn’t say that’s nobody’s fault, but it isn’t the victim’s fault.
Fair to say, I’ve been focused on post partum alot, lately.
Hopefully, you’re not speaking personally. My wife had post partum after our twins were born. If this post is about you and post partum, I would highly recommend you get help.
No, no, I’m a nurse, I did some recent training on the subject. Thanks for your concern, though.
Another update: He’s on the fringes of the projected hurricane zone, and his employer is closing for the time being. Several people have asked him on Facebook why he doesn’t “go home”, as in join his (STBX?) wife and (step)kids, and he simply replied, “It’s complicated.”
She posted in that same thread, something noncommittal, so who knows.
Well, I’m living this dream right now. 6 months ago my wife wanted to move back to China, and I said go ahead. We will split assets, I’ll take the kids, I’ll put em through college and you can have whatever life you want and happy for you to see the kids as practical. She countered with wanting to keep a sham marriage where she gets half the money and can fuck off to China for a month at a time without any contact, and fly business class. We’re working on the divorce. Now she wants to pull the twins out of 8th grade, move to LA where she has no job, two high school friends, and has spent about 1 month total over the past 25 years.
We won’t go into how my twins are in a top 20 rated high school, it’s a 6-12 grade so they won’t have an awkward transition to high school, there are less than 100 kids per grade, my youngest is on the autism spectrum and has 1:1 help to mainstream in half her classes, my other twin has diagnosed anxiety issues and school is very accommodating while we’re getting a 504 plan in place, Seattle Children’s Hospital has great services in the neighborhood, my work is here and Seattle area is booming tech center if I change jobs, we have great therapy assistants, etc etc. And my wife thinks it would be better to go to LA on a whim. And she delusionally thinks the court will just award her 100% custody (so she can have alimony and all the child support to live off of) and the right to relocate over my dead body. That ain’t gonna happen in any rationale court. Not sure how we will handle the child custody. I suspect I can sweeten the offer and my wife will go back to China and rarely visit. Just have to get over that hurdle. Such is the wonderful soap opera of my life.
We aren’t even pretending to talk
Sometimes it’s better for a child to be given up to another person’s care then the one person continue with the child. Such can be the case when a marriage goes south, staying together for the kids, or even a hostel child custody situation may mean giving up one’s child may be the best for the child. Not saying it’s good, but in certain circumstance less bad. Such things does give the child a chance for closure and to move on with their new parent(s)/guardian and hopefully in a helpful healing spot.
Sorry to hear you’re going through all that, China Guy, you sound like a good dad. I hope you get a reasonable judge and a good outcome for you and your kids.
chinaguy have the kids said any preference who they wanted to live with? because that will have huge impact on who they live with… although that little situation might just be emotionaly rough in they have to declare in open court who they want to live with (that parts based on personal experience )
And they’re old enough to make that decision. The disabled one may not be considered able to, depending on the disability’s extent.
I do know that the biological child of the couple about whom I started this thread will never live independently and even though she’s 15, ostensibly old enough to decide which parent she wants to live with, there’s no way she’d be considered competent in the eyes of the court. I’ve only met her a couple of times, but by all accounts, she functions on the level of a 10-year-old, if that. 