Lazy Guacamole:
Combine jar(s) of your favorite salsa with diced, chopped, or chopped and mashed ripe avacodo.
I’ll lend him my pith helmet. 
No no, that’s what you need for protective gear in, er, disporting yourself with the current First Family, not the previous one.
So do you have to take out 1/4 cup of flour and replace with the grounds or do you just add the grounds?
Dumbass.
I reckon you’d have to reduce the flour or else your cookies would come out like [del]my grandmother’s[/del] hockey pucks, you low-down betacuck snowflake. 
It actually is amazing how often you can get away with that, and people still think it’s awesome.
Fun trick to spice it up though, just a dab of sour cream. For some reason that gets rid of the canned salsa taste.
When I was in college, my roommate made something she called “guacamole” with avocados, sour cream, bacon, and a squeeze of lime to round it out. It was actually pretty darned good, whatever it was. As for proportions, just use your judgement.
My daughter just gave me one of those. I’ve been using a garlic press for over fifty years. Not the same one, but successive incarnations. She told me to try the microplane and I’d never look back and she was right. I can’t believe I’ve wasted most of my life using that crude tool. Where was I when the microplane was invented?
I haven’t tried the grater thing, but why does the garlic press get so much hate?
Because the press is nothing but fake juice.
Yes. Make America Grate Again.
I think you need to go stand in the corner for a while. No talking.
I don’t have a recipe, but I just wanted to say that this is my favourite insult of the year so far and is unlikely to be dethroned any time soon.
Quoth a Scottish ex-boss of mine: “You show me on the bottle where it says ‘dilute to taste’”.
That said, peaty whiskey can really benefit from a small splash of water.
Good reference! You are also Left Hand of Dortness. 
All punning aside…it takes about 30 seconds to mince a garlic clove or two, and the results are far superior. You goddam special snowflake, with your precious liberal “garlic press.”
Just smash your garlic. Help to relieve your stresses.
I’m not much of a cook, but I just learned how to make ice water! This is exciting.
I’m working on iced coffee next.
Left-wing trolls, eh.
I can help you out with that one.
1: Pour cup of coffee
2: Leave on counter for a few hours