Lesbian dopers: how do you introduce your SO?

I say, “This is my partner, Bebe.”

Sometimes she calls me her “domestic partner” because she doesn’t want people to mistake me for Allison, her business partner.

Friends who have had a union ceremony say “wife.”

We used to say “lover,” but that’s kind of dated now, isn’t it? And – like “girlfriend,” which some young women use, lacks the permanence of “partner” or “wife.”

Those of you who are in a long-term, committed relationship: what do you say?

I’ve always liked “the person with whom I share my life”

I think you should say, “special friend,” and then giggle.

I use “partner” and most people get it. The only exception was my SO’s 70-something stepuncle from Florida who wanted to know what business we were in. I was so tempted to say “liquor” but I minded my manners.

I introduce her as my wife where relevant.

Iteki – have you had a union ceremony? I feel like “wife” should be reserved for those who have, but maybe not. I like all of your responses. Thanks.

mojave66 – you weren’t tempted to say monkey business?

I have a legally recognised union in the country where I live yep. Even if I didn’t I would probably use the same term at this point in our relationship, just be leaving out the “common-law” bit so to speak.

Lucky you, Iteki. I think I’m a wife, since I work part-time, Bebe works a 65-hour week, I do all the house stuff, shopping, etc. But is she my wife, too?

IANALesbian, but I prefer when my friends introduce each other as “partner”. One couple I know introduces each other as “my roommate”. :rolleyes:

“This is my euphemism…”
Just kidding. I’m a straight male.

Single now, but I would generally introduce her as my girlfriend. I’m 21, though, and I think that I’ll grow to find the word doesn’t say what I want it to.

And then there was the time that I introduced her to my grandparents- who knew perfectly well exactly who she was- by stammering, “This is my, um, Jennifer.”

There have been more graceful moments.

My, um, Jennifer. I like that, anygirl. How about if we all adopt that and it becomes SLC, Standard Lesbian Code, for Partner, Wife or whatever?

“This is my, um, Jennifer, Bebe.” All of us would know, and everyone else would be wondering what th–?

Miss Manners suggested “uhmmer,” because you say, “This is my uhm . . . um. . . .”

Miss Manners is usually cool, coffeecat, but uhmmer sucks. Sounds like that big military-type car thing. Humvee, that’s it.

Bebe and I are spending next weekend with friends of mine who haven’t met her, and I intend to introduce her as “my Jennifer.”

I dunno how I feel about that, to be honest… it was not the best of breakups. It never is, I know, but this was quite the memorable trainwreck and I’d like to think that my lasting contribution to the lesbian community didn’t center around it.

I prefer “partner.” However, it does get sticky when business partners are concerned – or when the person you’re talking to is completely oblivious and asks if you have a boyfriend/husband. Otherwise, I prefer “significant other” but it’s a bit bulky and doesn’t easily roll off the tongue.

I think I like these two most because when I lived in San Francisco, I often heard these terms used despite whether it was a heterosexual or homosexual couple.



There doesn’t seem to be a satisfactory answer (even for us heteros)

PS. But another vote for ‘Jennifer’

Back when i was a lesbian, i used partner for relationships over a certain level of commitment, girlfriend for those less than that. Nowdays (given all the gender confusion) I just introduce my significant other/other half/whatever by name (“This is Sailor”) and let people draw their own conclusions by our behaviour.

I introduce my lesbian sister’s partner as my “sister-in-law.” Their two daughters are my nieces.

They call each other partner. And their daughters call them “Mother Mary” and “Mom Fran.”