I read somewhere that having short nails is a sign of being a lesbian. In my case, it’s because my nails are too brittle from all the meds I take – does this mean I should start freaking out?
(Answer: No)
It took until post #2 for someone to tell you it’s none of your business, with the implied course of action being to behave as you do with other things that are none of your business. If you don’t know how to treat things that are none of your business, you’re the one who doesn’t know what etiquette is. Etiquette is for social lubrication. “It’s none of your business” is an etiquette tip; you don’t need to dress it up in fancy lace ruffles.
Still, if that weren’t good enough for you or you were especially dense, it took until post #6 for someone to explicitly tell you “Let it drop.” That is also an etiquette tip.
Be gracious toward those whom you ask for help or advice, that’s another etiquette tip.
Right now, having said nothing about the necklace, you are in the most socially lubricious position you can ever hope for. Opening your mouth only makes room for your foot. If she doesn’t know of the lesbian connection, it’s not your place to protect her. (And anyway the thing you would be protecting her from is neither dire, nor likely.) If she does know about the connection, she deliberately didn’t let you in on it. Other than the compliment I hope you offered, that’s the end of it.
I’m about to completely breach the social lubricity concept I just mentioned, because I’ll probably never meet you and am at all times just a hair’s breath away from never reading this forum again. It feels to me like you actually came here to confess that you fancy this woman, and would be disappointed if she were a lesbian, and are dying to know. And possibly that you have a hangup about lesbians. That’s what I get from the protectiveness, the curiosity, the shock, and the stubbornness/persistence you display here. Advice on dating in the workplace is “outside the scope of this comment.” If I’m onto something there, get your intentions straight and ask again, just like with one of those magic 8-ball toys.
Past the editing window so “poor man’s Edit-to-Add”:
breadth, not breath
Sometimes (maybe most times) etiquette is more about what you leave out than what you add.
I’m with those who say proper etiquette lies in letting it drop where it is. Someone wears something, you ask hey what is that? they answer, you take the answer and thank them for it, the end.
And FWIW this one was new for me when it comes to something being a lesbian “signifier” emblem; apparently from some replies it was more so a generation ago and has since lost some currency. So I did learn something today.
Sometimes etiquette consists in asking yourself “how much is this about me?”
And, from the OP, apparently he considers her jewellery to be mostly about him:
That level of concern about your own feelings and reactions in a trivial matter which has nothing to do with you is self-regarding to the point of narcissism. Genuine etiquette consists of not inserting yourself into other people’s choices and considering them only from the perspective of how they affect you.
I’ve seen a number of Molon Labe T-shirts and tattoos, and been amused they were rendered in modern Greek letters instead of ancient.
Tattoos? I’d have to say that a “molon labe” tramp stamp would probably convey a completely different message than those Spartans intended.