Lessons from a Dog

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Lessons from A Dog

  1. Remember where you came from.
  2. Never forget a friend.
  3. Know when you have enough.
  4. Growl only when you have to.
  5. Complain when no one is around.
  6. Eat everything in your bowl.
  7. Keep your back to the wind.
  8. Go to sleep with no regrets.
  9. Dream sweet dreams.
  10. Live everyday as if it were your last.

by Tim McCrerey

http://www.desertusa.com/mag00/aug/stories/tramp.html

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chain-email deja-vu…

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Lessons from A Dog

  1. Eat your own feces
  2. Eat the cat’s feces
  3. Lick your butt
  4. Stick your face in another dog’s butt
  5. Stick your face in the butt of that guy down the street who doesn’t bathe.
  6. Eat the week-old hamburger in the garbage can
  7. Contract worms from said hamburger. Puke up worms on oriental carpet.
  8. Drink out of the toilet. Especially when someone forgot to flush.
  9. Continually get your anal gland plugged up, and make your owner (note for residents of Boulder, CO: please replace “owner” with “guardian”) stick his or her finger up your butt to pop it.
  10. Fart. A lot. Big stinky ones.

by Athena

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Good one Athena. Especialy #9, I take it you have some experience in that department?

5

nice list Athena.
one more.

  1. learn mental telepathy so you can ‘tell’ your owner/guardian that you are the Son of Sam and that said owner should do his part to control overpopulation.
    hehehe
6

No direct experience, but I have a good friend who has this problem. Disgusting, IMO.

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My dog had that problem, except we had the vet do the finger-sticking

Whenever it became too uncomfortable for him to sit straight it was vet-time.

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(note for residents of Boulder, CO: please replace “owner” with “guardian”)

Say what?

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Athena you forgot #1A and #3A…

  1. Eat your own feces
    1A. Breathe in your human’s face
  2. Eat the cat’s feces
  3. Lick your butt
    3A. Lick your human’s face.

etc.

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#12 - lick your genitals as loudly as possible in full view of all humans present.

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More things learned from my dog …

  • The tastiest food can be found in the trash can.
  • If you’re angry with someone, pee on their rug.
  • It’s okay to sprint out into a busy street at any time.
  • It’s fun to chew on earrings, coins, cellophane, pizza boxes and just about anything that can be found on a floor.
  • The first thing you should do after having a bath is roll around in the mud.
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For plugged up anal glans, meatty raw chicken bones help. The bones massage the gland from the inside. This doesn’t help once it’s plugged, only as a preventative measure.

  1. Dead seal is the best possible smell around. If any dead seals are present do whatever you can to pick up their smell
  2. Herd and terrorize all small children.
  3. The only time you don’t obey commands is when it’s really important to do so.
  4. Don’t show affection to people who like dogs. Only go up to those who are scared of dogs.
13

I was told by my vet that dogs should NEVER be given chicken bones because they splinter sharply when broken and could damage the dog’s digestive track.

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I think raw chicken bones are OK, it’s only when they’re cooked that they cause problems. Wild dogs, coyotes, wolves, etc., all eat birds without problem.

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Never ever EVER give your dog chicken bones! I’m surprised oldscratch didn’t suggest chicken bones with a side of chocolate and an antifreeze chaser. There is nothing you can feed your dog that will press firmly enough on the glands in question to empty them, unless the dog is shitting a golf ball, in which case blocked anal glands are the least of your problems.

You can “express” a dog’s anal glands (there are two, I believe) from the outside without actually having to go, ah, inside the dog. But it’s only marginally less gross, since the musk expressed from the glands is so stinky as to be gag-inducing, may spray unexpectedly in random directions (such as your face), and results in a lasting smell that is very difficult to wash off the carpet, the dog, and you. Plus you may not do a complete job. And your dog will hate it. Don’t ask me how I know this.

My vet (well, really the vet tech) will express a dog’s glands for free. A good groomer will often be willing to do it also, as mine does, but I prefer to have the animal doc do it since she has more training and since the dog already loathes going there, but doesn’t mind the groomer.

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Raw chicken bones are fine. Not completely safe, but relatively safe. As in I would feed my dog them with no problems. Problems that occur happen about as frequently as dogs choking on dry kibble.
I didn’t say that the bones would empty the glands. But, the roughage from the bones helps massage the glands and keep them flowing when they are not compacted. This can prevent problems later on.

Also I’m somewhat insulted that you would insinuate that I would try and poison my dog.

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Chicken bones, raw or cooked, are NOT fine, and if anyone has any question about that, I suggest they call their vet.

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Called two vets. One at SFSPCA, and one at the Marina Pet Hospital. Both confirmed that raw bones are ok. Anything else you’d like me to do Jodi?
Oh and here’s a vet with a site online that talks about feeding your dogs raw chicken bones.
http://www.rawmeatybones.com/

So if you have any questions about that I suggest you do some research. OK? :slight_smile:

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Well, OldScratch, I called THREE vets and they all said NOT to feed a dog chicken bones under any circumstances, raw or cooked, and I take the liberty of totally discounting a web site which is obviously slanted towards feeding domesticated dogs a diet comprised solely of raw meat – generally agreed to be a bad idea – and that makes the indefensibly over-generalized statement that “modern veterinary medicine for pets is not well founded.”

Like I said, anyone who thinks that a raw chicken bone is a good thing to feed a dog ought to check with their vet. Why you would think that is a bad idea, I can’t imagine.

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Never said that. I just think people should do some research on their own. Peole almost never think to get second opinions from vets. An example. One vet telling you not to take your puppy outside ever, or to let other dogs come into contact with it ever until it had it’s shots. One telling me as long as I kept it one the sidewalk and didn’t let it on grass it would be ok. I took a middle ground, but there is a lot of divergence among different vets on how to handle pets. And I’m still insulted that you, in ignorance, would compare feeding raw chicken bones to dogs to feeding them anti-freeze.