for the year 2018. Dangit, I just wanted to be the first to say something. I gave thanks for all (well, most) of my fellow dopers yesterday and ate turkey for the whole lot of you (except for the vegetarians. I downed a bucket of green beans to pacify your needs.)
Thanks to that food, my body is now 60% water, 20% turkey, and 20% gross stuff that would make people gag at an autopsy.
Happy Holidays!!
That’s one thing I never understood. Why bother stuffing the turkey, when we’re just gonna stuff it into ourselves eventually! Why deal with that middle-man thing?!
Thanks and happy Easter to you!
Oh yeah? Happy Thanksgiving!! 
You now have 364 Turkey-shopping days left!
Not a glamorous thought, but somehow generous none the less.
Happy future holidays to you too!
Bog off!!!
[/miserable git]
Bah humbug!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
Allow me to wish you all a Happy Four Horsemen, and a Merry Apocalyps.
“To rule is to see far ahead”, as the Dutch saying goes
Would you mind standing out on the porch when you say that, Pardner? There’s womenfolk present!
And may I be the first person to slap you upside the head for mentioning Christmas before December 24th, even if you are referring to the year 2018.
/me crawls back into my Christmas-less hole, grumbling inaudibly
So, considering the amount of food you mentioned,
why is it **Merry **Christmas
But Happy Chanukah? 
Happy birthday!
Anybody wishing me a merry Christmas before December gets my return wish that somebody drops an early-'70s AMC Gremlin on their head.
Like casdave said–bah, humbug!