Dear Lord,
I’m in a time of need. These next few days will mean everything to me and I am in need of faith. I need faith to stay on course and I need faith to face my peers. I have faced demons and sleepless nights in my battle for what is right. I have read all the given texts and debated the merits of the principles but I feel as if I am not interpreting it the way you meant it to be. I can’t carry out the right actions when I’m confronted with my problems. I run away from my duties and seek the darkness when I know in my heart that I should ask for true wisdom.
Please Lord, I’m not normally a praying man or even a church going man but I am in desperate need of faith and help. Oh Lord, please let me pass my final exam in Engineering Control Systems. I will throw a party for You, Allah, Mohammed, Ghandi, Buddah, Satan and any other deities You wish to invite.
Chasing Dreams
I once summoned a tiny, cute, fuzzy hair-metal demon rock god in a game of Vampire: The Requiem. You might want to ask him for help, too. He’s usually happy to assist you, although his violent rampages on your city that come soon afterward can be inconvenient at times. And I would bone up on my Latin first if I were you.
I was going to suggest burning the thighbone of an ox, but your idea has merit, too. And how much ‘boning up’ do you need, when you’re just going to chant the Latin backwards?
Good Luck, CD. I hope god doesn’t decide you shouldn’t be an engineer.
You actually read it forwards to summon him onto this earthly plane, IIRC. Once he’s here, he understands backwards Latin, but there’s not much point to it as he’s pretty much going to destroy who and what he wants to in a gigantic ball of flame (after solving your problem, that is), and he’s not real receptive to anything you have to say at that point.
Totally OT, but reminded me of when my kid was in grade school - maybe 2d or 3d grade. They were discussing slang, and each kid was assigned a slang word to look up on the internet.
Yep - you got it. The teacher assigned my kid to research “boning” on the school’s computers and predictably, penis ensued.
I’m not real sure about your guest list. Allah and his prophet Mohammed seem to get blamed for blowing a lot of stuff up so not real appropriate for engineering. Ghandi, Buddah, and possibly the Dahli Lhama wouldn’t be so bad as long as what ever structure you were building did not kill, impede or otherwise interfere with any other living thing (Ghandi would probably be the best of the bunch though, he would keep the party overhead costs down by not eating very much. Satan is probably your best bet because as everyone knows, the devil’s in the details.
I have decided that the best way to prepare for my Spanish final tomorrow is to relax, unwind and download massive amounts of porn. So far it’s working: I don’t feel anxious about the test at all.
Well, the thing is, he was more than happy to help you out by authoring manslaughter and mayhem, but he tended to be less than discriminate in who he killed and how. It was only because he apparently loved my character’s cavalier attitude (he was a Beat poet; this took place in 1950s Las Vegas, and yes, we’d stolen a tape deck from the future to play Dio) that he didn’t slaughter my entire party. And I’m not too sure it was a conscious decision, either.
Just don’t study while you’re doing that. Studies* prove that you recall best when you are in the environment in which you learned the material. It could be a bit distracting to your classmates.
