I think they’re for shaming here too, but it usually works. Most people are polite. But the thing is, “priority” seats mean those are the first choice for people with disabilities, but ANY seat should be given up to such a person if necessary.
So you constantly scan with your eyes every single time people enter the bus or train and you could never possibly miss a person with a disability. And you couldn’t possibly not know someone is disabled because it’s always very obvious. Right?
And you’ve never ever missed someone who wanted to sit in your seat?
How would you know that? Can you read minds?
Bullshit. The implication is often there. People rarely just get up and offer someone else their seat out of the blue just to be nice. That would be a nice world, sure, but since it doesn’t happen, both parties know there’s more to it.
Sam, instead of a sticker, you might consider getting a shirt printed up reading “Ask Me About My Severe and Extremely Painful RA…After You Let Me Sit the Fuck Down.”
Because that’s his MO.
The thing is, a polite person such as myself would not need a sign to them to give up my seat. A rude person will not care about a sign if there is no enforcement.
No, because I don’t give a fuck if someone’s disabled or not. If the bus is full, there is always someone who needs a seat more than I.
Again, I don’t have to. I don’t sit in the priority seats. And if the bus is full, I stand so someone else can have my seat.
:shrug: Ok. You may be right. I’ll stick to erring on the side of nice and brave the (IMO) vanishingly tiny risk of offending someone.
Yes, you would, if you didn’t realize that there was someone nearby who needed the seat because you couldn’t see them in the crowd, or you were distracted by a newspaper or whatever, or the person’s disability isn’t obvious. All things we’ve already covered here. This is not just about people being rude.
As a driver, I’ll always give priority to handicapped passengers. They get the handicapped seats no matter how crowded the bus is. I’ve observed that people are surprisingly compliant about this, even stereotypically clueless teenagers will give up the seats if asked.
Anybody that needs the seats, or needs the bus kneeled and close to the curb gets it on request. I always encourage people to ask if needed. In my agency, disabled passengers are taken very seriously. If a disabled passenger calls customer service telling them I refused to pull close, kneel the bus, or try and get them seated safely it could be a 3 day suspension without pay :eek: for me if they review the CCTV footage and conclude I was being a dick to some disabled passenger.
So you’re incredibly nice. Good for you. Do you actually expect everyone in a seat on a bus to constantly offer their seat to others just to be nice? Do you really think that makes sense, or is reasonable to expect? Everyone would constantly be standing and sitting. People who just gave up their seat would be offered another one. It’s not how the world works, and it doesn’t NEED to work that way, because we have other ways of determining who needs a seat.
There’s absolutely no reason you shoudn’t sit in a priority seat. If you see someone who needs it, you stand, as with any other seat. Priority simply means you stand before other people in the regular seats.
You’re very nice.
Do you also let everyone ahead of you in line just in case they’re late for something or are disabled and can’t stand as long as you? Do you EVER get through a line?
Do you always get up at movies and offer people behind you your seat just in case they might not have good vision?
Do you always let people behind you in a bathroom line go ahead of you just in case they have to go more than you do?
You do that. I’ll simply sit and let people who need my seat, on the off chance I don’t notice (in which case I would obviously get up and offer), to simply ask and brave the vanishingly tiny risk of offending someone for expecting them to say such a normal thing.
Are you ever asked by a handicapped person to intervene if nobody will get up for them? Have you ever confronted a situation like that?
I feel for you, SciFiSam. Commuting in London is bad enough even for the able-bodied. Unfortunately (for those who need seats), using public transport around here usually means playing a game of “How Close Can I Get to Other People and Still Pretend They’re Not There?”
Somewhat in defence of lance strongarm, count me as someone who would find it pretty awkward to offer a seat to someone who didn’t obviously need it. Some people have chips on their shoulders and don’t want help even if everyone else thinks they’re entitled to it, and some people don’t want attention drawn to themselves. If the situation requires it, I try to keep an eye out for someone who might need a seat more than me, but if someone does need my seat and I don’t notice, I would expect them to ask. Fortunately, I’ve never had to worry about whether to offer or not, because I don’t normally sit down unless there are plenty of seats anyway.
Precisely my point. Thank you.
It seems to me that, in a culture in which people are hesitant to ask for a seat as SciFiSam describes it, people would also be hesitant to ask if someone needs a seat.
Sam, I feel your pain (not literally most of the time these days, thank goodness, but I have literally in the past). After leg surgery and a prolonged period on crutches, during which I was forbidden to put any weight on my leg at all, my left calf had atrophied so drastically that it was skinnier in a plaster cast than my right calf was without one.
After I was finally cleared to ride public transportation again (after having the lovely external fixatorremoved), I hobbled on crutches to the train one fine summer day. I was wearing shorts, revealing the plaster cast up to my knee. Nobody offered me a seat, and the train wasn’t especially packed, but all the seats were taken, not just the priority ones. A number of young, seemingly able-bodied men were all apparently so absorbed in their newspapers, etc. (this was some years ago now) that nobody noticed me, or at least acknowledged noticing me. Luckily one nice guy standing next to me (mighty hot too as I recall) asked in a loud stage voice, “Shouldn’t you be sitting down?” “Why yes,” I replied, “but nobody seems to be offering me a seat.” Finally someone was embarrassed enough to give up a seat.
The moral of the story? People can be self-centered assholes. Maybe there’s a way to deal with it humorously? I do still have issues with my left leg (I’m told I will be needing an ankle replacement down the line, and my ortho would do a joint fusion if I weren’t so damn stubborn about avoiding more surgery), so sometimes I am not the first to offer my seat to others if I am having a gimpy day. Maybe a fluorescent orange hat that says “GIMP” on the front or something?
So you’ve never been reading a newspaper and not noticed people around you?
I wasn’t there, so I can’t say. But assuming that every single person on a bus was such an asshole that they were willing to ignore someone on crutches, rather than simply reading and not noticing you, is pretty cynical. It means you can’t ever read a newspaper again on a bus for fear of doing the same.
What’s wrong with simply announcing, “Could someone please give up their seat for me?” to make sure you’re noticed?
Nope, never said I did.
Yes to the first, no to the second.
Oh please.
Sure. And you’re absolutely right: sometimes it involves speaking up when you need one. Sometimes that’s not easy.
Agreed. You asked what I do. I told you.
Aw. That’s sweet. Why do I suspect you don’t mean it?
Are you doing a shtick here? 'Cos sorry, it’s not my brand of humor. No offense.
Works for me.
I get that. But in my experience the number of people who have such debilitating chips on their shoulders that they would take public offence to being offered a place to sit on a crowded bus is absolutely dwarfed by the number of people who would be grateful instead. Able-bodied or not.
Please what? If everyone did what you do, that’s what would happen.
Glad you agree with me.
I do mean it.
No, I’m totally serious. Please answer the questions. If any are “no” please tell me why you don’t, since you seem to do a similar thing when on buses.
It does? Then why are you here in my face?
How do you know though?
Can you read their minds? Have you frequently experienced both, and taken a tally? Well, no, you couldn’t really do that because you give up your seat to anyone, no matter whether they want or need it or not. So I’m not sure how you know this.
In any event, the number of people I wouldn’t be sure I should ask is absolutely dwarfed by the number I would confidently offer it to, so that ratio works both ways.
I caught at least a couple of people peeking at me from behind their newspapers and then quickly burying their heads again. Also, not every single person on that train car, or even every seated person, was reading a newspaper. And some of them boarded at the same time as I did and took the remaining seats.
I didn’t need to because the nice guy standing next to me beat me to the punch.
Okay. Those are just assholes.
They’re waiting for someone else to get up first.
Okay, now that’s assholery!