You obviously have never met a tard macho hand crusher (especially because you are a woman). There are some idiots who think causing physical pain is some sort of alpha male sign of dominance. I am not talking about a firm handshake here. I’m pretty sure I once said “Why the FUCK are you trying to crush my hand?”
Bowing would be a hecka cool and we should take that up pronto!
Till then, they’ve invented hand condoms to guard against Handshake Transmitted Diseases (HTDs).
Ohh, yes… someone here needs to advocate for the social deep-tongue kiss.
The mouth is generally less effective at spreading disease than the hand-nose combo. And although the venerable handshake allows for wide variation in pressure, time and moisture it simply can’t compare to the subtle messages exchanged in a lingering, persistently probing kiss.
“I’ve grown bored with your product line.”
“You’re more to me than just my new neighbor.”
“She trusts my judgment, but I must prove myself.”
Mellow greetings, fellow citizens.
Here is our new acknowledgement ritual, which will ameliorate the …distressful… situation caused by the H1N1 viral strain.
Upon meeting, two people will stand approximately two feet apart, raise their dominant hand, and rotate it in a three hundred sixty degree arc. One greeter will do so clockwise, and the other counterclockwise–this may be awkward at first but I am confident that, with practice, a suitable determination of whom shall rotate which way will emerge.
Thus we take a small step to remove this plague from our day.
Be well,
Dr. Raymond Cocteau
The limp handshake is the norm in Yemen. If mswas was here, I’m sure it would tell him many things about the person he met as he inadvertently crushed their hand. All of them would likely be wrong, or course.
I have gotten sick so many times in my travels that I go out of my way now to avoid people who are hand shakers. When it is a choice between Allah’s revenge (as I call it) and a slight social gaff, I prefer to apologize for the slight.
I’ve always wondered why it should be considered a social gaff, though. Violating my personal space so that you can touch me gains you what exactly? I know it doesn’t gain me anything, nor does it help along any social interaction we might have from my POV.
Well, not shaking hands conveys “I think you are so disgusting and germ-laden that I don’t even want to touch your hand briefly,” which is kind of a social gaff.
I get that, but what do you get by wanting to touch my hand? I gain no benefit by people fondling me in such a manner, nor do I desire it. I also won’t feel slighted in any way if you don’t offer your hand to me. What I want to know is why others like it and feel it is necessary?
One is because I enjoy the human contact. We are social creatures. We literally curl up and die if we are not touched. But our modern world is built on isolation. So it feels good and reassuring to have physical contact with people. It makes me more likely to trust them. And it makes me feel less like a live in a bubble.
Another reason is just the ritual of it. Society is held together by our shared rituals. And I’ve spent enough time with other people’s rituals to appreciate the comfort and beauty of our own.
Dr. Raymond Cocteau, better known to the world as Arnold Rimmer? 
So, standard greeting would be the Single Rimmer, and you’d save the Double Rimmer for more important people?
Yes, but your need for contact needs to come with the consent of the other people involved, not because they have a sense of social obligation to provide you with the touch that you desire.
And therein is the problem. If you extend your hand for a shake, you’ve now obligated the other person to go along with it, whether they want to touch you or not. Otherwise they have to explain themselves and in most situations, unless they have a very very compelling reason for demurring, they’re always going to be viewed suspiciously for having done so. At best they’ll come off as strange, at worst churlish or snobbish.
And that’s not right. If you want me to touch you, you should have to ask, not expect. But the culture of handshaking puts the burden on entirely the wrong party.
I’m sure there is a self-depreciating joke in this about all the women in the bars over the years willing to take the chance on me curling up and dying. Unfortunately, I’m not witty enough at the moment to pull one off.