Let's give Trump's potential Cabinet the Willies (Willy Wonka, that is)

The BBQ Pit
1

I thought I could start out with a little ditty from Miles Vorkosigan from Bluesky (with his enthusiastic permission, of course):

*Oompa Loompa Doopitty Dout
Flailing, exhausted, Gaetz has pulled out
Oompa Loompa Doopitty Dorr
If I am right there’ll soon be lots more

What do you get when your date is 16?
Your reputation won’t be pristine
You will be named in an ehtics report
Cabinet prospects are…cut short!

Oompa Loompa Doopitty Dar
Do not rape minors; you will go far
Your confirmation will sail on through
Like the Oompa Loompas’ generally do!*

2

Nobody wants to comment or give it a shot?

3

It’s a well-made parody version of the movie song. As to why people aren’t jumping on to the topic: I couldn’t say, but I know that I felt a bit short-circuited by contemplation of the 1971 version of the Oompa Loompas in their visual parallels to Donald. The make-up, chiefly, but also the basic silhouette. (He’s tallish but also roundish so they both have toddleresque outlines.)

There’s also the question of whether Oompa Loompas are the best metaphor for Donald’s Cabinet picks. The OLs are basically sympathetic characters, and moreover are people who are efficient and hard-working. So the connection doesn’t really seem to be there.

(Meaning no insult to Miles Vorkosigan, or to the person using that screen-name, anyway; the verse really is quite clever.)

4

But their hands are bigger.

5

I think you misunderstand. The Oompa Loompas are the voice of reason in the film. Their songs lay out the shortcomings of the children who won the Golden Tickets (Trump’s Cabinet picks).

6

Townsend knew better than to follow Hendrix.

7

It’s a tough assignment, but I’ll give it a shot:

*Oompa Loompa Doopitty Doo
I’ve got another puzzle for you
Oompa Loompa Doopitty Dee
If you are wise you’ll listen to me.

What do you get when you wrestle and fight?
Stoutly believing that might will make right?
And if your fights are as fake as can be,
Your education will be clearly seen!!

Oompa Loompa Doopitty Dar
Entertain morons and you’ll go far
No one likes a know-it-all who
Fails to mind the Oompa Loompa Doopitty Doo!

8

Possibly the parody started out reflecting the movie accurately in that respect, but it ended with Oompa Loompas being the ones contending for posts: