Let's hope he doesn't comb his hair to the side, and wear glasses!

I heard today on the news, CNN no less, that the US forces intelligence people have learned that Saddam Hussein may have shaved off his mustache! Worse yet, he might well be traveling around in Iraq wearing ethnic civilian clothes, and riding around in civilian vehicles!

How in the world will we ever find him now? Oh, the cunning these ex dictators show, when run to ground!

Am I to assume from this press release that until yesterday, our forces were running around Iraq looking for a guy in a mustache, in uniform, riding around in a tank, trying to look inconspicuous? How stupid do they think he is? Worse, how stupid are they?

If these people were running my country I would . . . oh, damn. These people are running my country!


Just wait til they capture him and pull his rubber mask off.

“Why it’s old man Mcgregor!”
“And I would’ve gotten away with it if it wasn’t for you meddling kids!”

But Lance Hunt wears glasses, he can’t be Captain Amazing. :stuck_out_tongue:

No use looking for him.

He found a wormhole.

Possibly he’ll elude capture, have extensive plastic surgery, and immigrate to the United States, where he will land his own talk show on some disreputable TV network.

I think Fox News has a disfigurement requirement for new talent.

“Today on Saddam…Ooops, I mean…Ahmed…‘My daughter dresses like a slut!’”

It’s worse than that, Triskadecamus. Not only might he have shaved his mustache, but he may have grown a full beard, or even have allowed his hair to revert back to its natural grey. How’re we ever going to find him now?

I’m sure we’ll find him as quickly as we found Osama.

I’m sure we’ll find him as quickly as we found Osama.

What, in double time? Heh.

The one that frightened me was the story I heard recently about what a hard time the troops are having dealing with the guerrilla fighting that they’re facing now because…they hadn’t had training in anything like that :eek: .

Here I thought all that bullshit about what a cakewalk this would be and how as soon as we deposed Saddam, all the little Iraqes would emerge from their hovels singing “Dong, Dong, the Witch is Dead” and waving American flags was just a cynical attempt to delude the masses. Am I to belive my government thought we could occupy a foriegn country without bothering to prepare for the possibilty of a pissed off foriegn population?

Sigh I felt better when I just thought they were evil.

It is possible to be both evil, and stupid.

You know, I always thought she used to look like Meredith Baxter-Birney. Now she just looks like the Joker.

If it wasnt’ for the hair still falling down, I’d swear she was pulling -5 Gs.

Personally, I remember seeing a picture of Osama Bin Laden as he would look in a suit and without his beard.

Since then. I haven’t been able to look at Geraldo Rivera the same way since.

[Puts on his Armchair General Uniform]

The impression of military training that I’ve gotten (if I’m wrong, one of the military Dopers can correct me) is that they’re still training our forces for a conventional battle like we would’ve seen in the Cold War or even like Gulf War I. Lots of manuver, lines on maps, clearly defined enemy, etc. What we’re facing right now is kind of the newest thing in military thinking: a nameless, faceless enemy without any real boundries or anything. There’s been some effort to train the troops for a conflict like this, and it’s part of the reason Rumsfield has been pushing for a lighter, more mobile force over the heavy armor of the past. But no one really knows how to fight BACK against guerillas, it’s not really current military doctrine.


I hope that doesn’t sound TOO dumb.

Maybe he dressed up as a Kurd and gassed himself.

Surely they know where he is already, and are saving his scripted media circus capture/scripted media circus death for the appropriate political moment.

Wait for something bad to happen (or about to happen) to the administration. (i.e. the two sons being “found” right before Congress’ 9/11 report and during a firestorm over fake uranium, switching the top story to the “Hunt for Saddam”.)

The photo op has already been scripted: Bush, replete in Delta Force gear, swings through a window on a rope, throws a flash/bang grenade into the press corps, pops off a few pistol rounds into Maureen Dowd, then saunters coolly up to the microphone before pulling off his gas mask and declaring unconditional victory in the “Hunt for Saddam”.

I think it would be more proper to say “replete with Delta Force gear,” although I must say it sounds terribly uncomfortable.