A dodgy finger;
An entire lamb Madras dropped
Right in my crotch. Ow! 
Absolutely true, circa Oct 1983
Tasty shrimp cocktail
Good conversation; you laugh
Shrimp snorts up your nose
[sub]Happened to my wife several years ago.[/sub]
breakfast on the porch–
vomit-like deer repellant–
no, thanks, not hungry
This morning, unfortunately. Thanks, 5 deer.
The toast always lands
butter side down. Why do we
butter the wrong side?
The toast always lands
butter side down. Why don’t you
Stick it on cat’s back?
Hot grilled-cheese sandwich
greatly annoys toddler son;
thrown at TV set.
Pizza and subway
Good for me but not for you
Sorry 'bout that, dude
:eek: Glad you lived to wax poetic about it.
Urgent Thirst Problem.
Mountain Dew looks like urine.
I’ll have the crab juice.
Ever put two cups
Of salt instead of sugar
In a cake? I did.
Recipe calls for
Blanched almonds Substitute not
Hickory salted.
A geek eats Chinese
Can’t keep himself from thinking:
Dim sum as array
Bigtime geeky guy.
Looks down upon non ubers.
Visual Basic?
O, Tony’s Pizza
Cooked directly on the rack
Dropped — now a floor pie
Truck full of jelly
Hit by car – contents spill out
What a traffic jam!
Steal my neighbor’s pool.
Put sugary powder in.
Eat all the jello.
Grandma’s VR Win
Turkey’s set to Nine-fifty
Progress Deja Vu.
Sugar truck fell over
Homer is on the scene quick
Nails, glass, bees, profit?