Oh gosh, no. Not all the way out. I would have killed her with my bare hands. I guess she was trying to unfold the map to look at it and pulled the wrong way. She ripped right through Gondor - the bitch.
Fuck it people, when you use my bathroom, put the toilet back the way you found it. I don’t care how you keep the seat/lid, but I keep the toilet closed and so put it back that way! Because otherwise I’m going to have a wet whiny cat.
Honest, this isn’t a debate. You can do it however you want in your home and I’ll leave it that way. But in my home, do it my way, god dammit!
The same goes when you walk through a door. Oh, the door was closed? Close the fucking thing!
And since I’m transitioning into work-rants, salesguys: fill out the fucking mockup request. Completely. No, I’m not going to pull info off the attached PO. No, I’m not going to pull it out of the email. WRITE. IT. DOWN. I don’t rag you about selecting the wrong option between -New Label, -Existing Label, or -Existing Label, new location, even though it makes me twitch every single fucking time. (Um, Jerk, nothing you do is ever a new label, it’s always a new location. Why do you always check new label?) (Um, Only-smart-salesguy-we-have-or-at-least-the-least-annoying-, I know it says ‘Existing Label, w/ or w/o changes’ but that’s not actually multiple choice, seeing as there is no place to check. You don’t have to circle it every time.) (Um, Captain Moron… huh, you actually get it right eight out of ten times. You make it up in other ways)
To get back to Captain Moron, when the boss tells you to send out generic samples, that doesn’t mean putting the custom sample request back in my inbox. It means sending out generic fucking samples. You know, like the two other salespeople who get much better sales than you. Perhaps you aren’t the sales god you think you are? Fucking asshat.
Is it the pretty hardback box set that comes with the nice color illustrations on the box and covers and NO mention of “Now a genuine movie!” I paid $60 for it, and it is nice. Just thinking about someone messing with a set that nice gets me mad enough to go pee in her orange juice.
Dear shithead bicyclist – look buddy, I’m a biker too. I’ve been riding regularly for a quarter-century, and almost daily for the last decade. I am sympathetic to the issues of bicyclist on our roads, and am almost always willing to be patient and yield the right of way. But you need to be riding in the fucking street! Don’t get all pissy with me because you’re riding on the sidewalk at night with no fucking lights and I didn’t see you coming. Follow the fucking traffic laws, dickhead.
Nah. These are the size of hardbacks, but they are paperbacks. I got them in the 80s so definitely no mention of the movies :). They are a nice set, as in they are pretty and I like them a lot, but they aren’t a nice set. I’m just a big believer in taking care of other people’s things. Accidents happen, that’s why I didn’t get all crazy about the map getting ripped - I’ve almost done that myself. But, cracking the binding and flipping the book over to hold your place is no accident.
I know the set you mean, though. I wouldn’t even consider letting anyone else put their filthy little paws on them if I owned that set.
Damn the low supply of 8800gt graphic cards in Europe! I’ve had my new PC (components) on order since last week and it’s just waiting on one of those bloody cards. The delivery date keeps getting pushed back and when they are stocked (but not the one I’ve ordered, naturally) they sell out before I get home from work.
I was hoping to get it delivered this week because there is actually someone at home to sign for it. That wont be the case next week and you wont offer an evening delivery for some reason. Damnit. I hope the distribution depot isn’t that far away…
Heh…Someone recently asked if they could borrow my Warren Zevon bio. I said they could, but on my terms. “You cannot take it out of your apartment. You cannot lend it to anyone else, not even your roommate. You cannot read it in the bathroom. You have to use a bookmark, which I will provide. When you’re not reading it, you must put it on a high shelf so it doesn’t get spilled on…” Funny thing: after I’d said all that, he decided he didn’t want to borrow it after all.
Fuck you state of California and your dumb ass fucking sexual harassment training. LAST year you wasted 2 hours of my life listening to the ex-cop tell us how we are fucked if someone calls out the inquisition. It was at least slightly enjoyable when the older farts in the room decided to ask you just who the “reasonable person” fucking is, and you replied, well, with nothing.
Guess what, NOBODY FUCKING CHANGES AFTER GOING THROUGH THE TRAINING. We get it - don’t sleep with our students (this is a graduate program - no minors involved). Don’t sleep with direct reports. Don’t tell dirty jokes where anyone can hear them. This could be covered with a one page memo.
So this year, I decide to do the online version. See, the only time the live one is available is when I am fucking teaching. So, instead of cancelling class, I go online.
After 2 fucking hours, it tells me that I went too fast and that I only get credit for 11 minutes.
I do it again.
After 3 fucking hours, I have credit for 18 minutes.
FUCK YOU. This was bullshit feel good legislation passed by dumbfuck do-gooders without a clue. Now, I am going to cancell class, and I am going to tell my students why. I am going to tell them that if they don’t like it, they can contact their various reps, assemblymen, and the National Organization for Women to complain.
Hi… weather? Yeah. Stop it with the teasing, huh? If you get all cold, and then predict snow for 3 days now, I’d like to actually see some. Yes, I will be cursing winter in maybe a month and a half. However, that doesn’t mean you get to tease me with the first snow of the season and then not have it happen.
Also, if you could do it on a Monday or Wednesday, so my professor from Arizona won’t show up to class, that would be great.
The room mother who put the Halloween goody bags together can spend eternity in the bowels of hell listening to “Seasons in the Sun” on a CD player stuck on “repeat”. She earned this punishment for including the cool glow-in-the-dark whistles with the skulls on them. The whistle is loud and piercing enough that the next-door neighbor’s dog got the crazies, and there’s a wall between her house and ours.
Thanks. I’ll return the favor at Valentine’s Day.
Robin
It has come to my attention that there is a serious lack of ability/knowledge on how to write a proper, legal, cashable cheque. You must:
- sign it
- date it (there’s a corollary rant for that)
- put two (2) dollar amounts on it that actually match in the allotted spaces
- write to whom the cheque is made out
- initial all changes made to the cheque
- write legibly so the people cashing the cheque aren’t guessing if you want to pay $100 or $700
- if paying for a product from a huge mega-corp with 5 billion accounts, PUT YOUR GODDAMNED ACCOUNT NUMBER AND INVOICES YOU’RE PAYING ON IT!!!1!
Thank you.
The date rant - the Canadian banks have all gotten together and decided that they want our dates standardized - and for once I agree with them. You wouldn’t believe the number of morons who can’t seem to fill in the little spaces that prompt you to put DDMMYYYY. You know what happens when you insist on putting a 27 in the MM spots? You get a rejected cheque.
You arrive for a latish shift at the office, like me. And like me, you’re driving up through the parking structure, only you are ahead of me.
Please do NOT creep along at 3 MPH, stopping to look at every vacant ‘compact’ space you come across, to consider whether you can fit your Escalade into it. Just drive on up to the upper levels where there will still be lots of spaces, will you?
Thank you.
Tigerdirect.com, would it kill you to hire some people that are strong enough to actually carry your packages to my door when they deliver them? I paid $130 for shipping for a package that weighed over 100 lbs. when I bought an LCD TV. And who do you have delivering it? A fucking OLD LADY :mad:
Luckily I was able to help her carry it to the house, but what if I, the customer, had also been an old lady? :smack:
Plato? Fuck you.
And fuck your goddamned fucking sock Socrates too.
Fuck the bloody motherfucking brown-nosing assbitches of interlocutors too. It takes a little more that “Certainly, wise Socrates” to constitute a fucking dialogue , you weak-dicked fuckheads.
Fuck the cuntslapped essay I have due on monday.
Fucketty fuck fuck.
If I never hear the phrase “jumped the shark” again, it will be too soon.
Dear boss. You are a good man. You are a good friend. You are freakin’ nuts!
Yes, I know the man that is coming tomorrow represents a huge account. Big. Bigger than big!
Yes, we all put an effort into making our desks more tidy.
No, you may not put my banana into the cabinet. I brought it because I plan to eat it. If this man thinks that we programmers don’t eat or poop then he is as nuts as you.
Why did we spend hours cleaning the refrigerator? Seriously. If he came and opened our fridge I would be offended. If he then decided not to do business with us based on what he saw there, I would rejoice. We would have dodged a bullet. Anyone who makes their choices of whether or not we can develop is software based on the cleanliness of our fridge is so batshit insane, we do not want his business.
And if you can’t see that, you are freakin nuts too.
I have to work three fucking hours late today to help move and organize desks for an assload of new employees, none of which are even going to be assigned to my team. What the freaking fuck.
I came in early this morning because I wanted to leave early. I threw a hissy fit and snapped at my husband in the process of trying to leave early. All for naught. Goddamn.
Why is it that managers spend huge amounts of money for custom logos to be designed for them, and then fucking LOSE the vector file that will enable the logo to be reproduced in any useful way? *
This has happened to me in three separate offices. I can find the contracts describing expensively-designed logos, and the transfer of ownership rights thereof. I can find 5 kb JPEG files with low resolution versions of the file. I can find things that have clearly been generated from the fucking vector file.
But for the love of small furry animals why, for the THIRD time in my life, am I digging through archives trying to find fucking vector files for images that were bought and fucking paid for by MY OWN EMPLOYER?
They certainly don’t pay me enough for this shit (although, to be fair, I am now being paid a lot more than I was the first time it happened). They couldn’t possibly pay me enough for this shit.
- This is a rhetorical question. I know why. It’s because the wonks who commission the logo design (which, because I work in policy shops, get used very rarely, like when the letterhead gets updated, or whatever) wouldn’t recognize a vector file if it bit them in the ass (let alone recognize the VALUE of the vector file), they only recognize the low-res JPEG, so the vector file gets abandoned somewhere in the dusty non-archives of the bureaucracy. Also, apparently, it’s always someone else’s job to keep track of the vector file. Mine, apparently.
Dear dumbbitch:
Yes, I know that some ads take communication to get correct. If you want me to build them correctly, tell me what you want in them. If you don’t give me all the materials, don’t go bitching to the higher-ups about how I didn’t do it right. Come bitching to me.
And furthermore: when you DO get me all the materials I ask for, and I build the ad the way you and the client want it, THAT’S WHAT YOU ASKED FOR! It only makes you look like the petty, juvenile, whiney little cuntrag that you are.
*By the way–that client whose ads have been fucked up for the last month and a half? Guess what–a month and a half ago, when the mistakes started, he stopped communicating directly with me, and started going through you. I’m not saying that’s the cause, but you may want to look into it.
I went shoe shopping yesterday for a pair of Christmas party shoes. Apparently, women want only 6 inch stripper heels or slippers so low that you feel like your heels are lower than your toes. I’m such a freak for wanting nice, comfortable, dressy, flattering black shoes that I can wear with a skirt for the entire evening and dance in without killing my feet. Sorry, shoe industry, my bad. :rolleyes: