Sorry if this is long and rambling, but here goes.
This weekend I was on a road trip with my father and sister. At some point a slight mention about George Bush was made (I don’t remember what it was) and my sister, who we’ll call Liz, said she didn’t want to talk about politics. That was fine by me.
The reason she didn’t want to was because she didn’t want my Dad and I to say anything bad about George Bush. I’ve been pretty politically left all my life and despise George Bush. But I don’t define my life or my conversations around this, so not talking about it is fine with me. My dad used to be pretty conservative, but for some reason has backed away from that recently. I’m not certain why.
Liz’ husband, who we’ll call Mike, is staunchly conservative. In fact, he’s just as conservative now as he was liberal back when he was first married to my sister, when he and my dad would get into arguments (back when Dad was a big fan of Reagan). Mike is now a die-hard Rush Limbaugh listener.
Okay, back to our trip. So fine, no talking about politics, that’s fine. I really don’t have any desire to discuss it anyway.
HOWEVER. We get to the “Senator Al Gore” highway in Tennesse, and suddenly Liz starts going off. “EW! I DON’T WANT TO BE ON THE AL GORE HIGHWAY! HE’S A STUPID JERK! I HATE HIM.” Over and over. Nobody has said anything, but here we are. I keep my mouth shut.
She’s not satisfied: “Do YOU like Al Gore?” she asks me.
“Not really,” I say. “I think anyone who can lose an election to Bush doesn’t deserve a political career.”
This gets her mad. “I take it you didn’t vote for our president? You don’t like him?”
“No,” I say. “I detest the man and feel this is the lowest point in American history I’ve had the chance to live through.”
Now, under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t be this vitriolic (even though I really do feel this way) but I was pissed because the only reason we’re talking about this is because the person who demanded we not talk about politics because she couldn’t handle criticism of her guy has brought the whole thing up.
She then responds with a line out of the Limbaugh Conservatives handbook: “Oh, I guess you liked CLINTON then.”
Because, as we all know, Limbaugh Conservatives experience heart palpitations and shortness of breath if they don’t mention Clinton and how much they hate him every 30 seconds.
At this point, with a few more hours left in the car, I really want to stop this stupid, pointless conversation. I reply with the standard, “I didn’t mind Clinton, but then again I think a blowjob in the oval office isn’t worse than wholescale rape of the Constitution.” I’m ticked off now, and I know this isn’t helping anything.
(A side note: the reason we’re on this trip is to scatter my Mom’s ashes as she wanted, along the Blue Ridge Parkway in fall. So this is part of the reason why I don’t want to have this stupid conversation.)
Fortunately this quiets her, even though it had every reason to rile her up even more.
The thing is, Liz doesn’t actually know much of anything about any issue, one way or another. She doesn’t follow the news. She’s told me enough. Her opinions are all just rented from Mike, who gets all his stuff from Rush Limbaugh and that ilk.
Mike himself used to be a near-Marxist, back when it was fashionable to do so. Once he got a house, some kids, and some money, though, he decided he was more interested in his bank account and became Republican. I don’t have a lot of respect for this.
So anyway, thanks sis. It was great talking with you. Ever wonder why I only call you once a month?