Actually, can I suggest that, in our new and improved prequels, Lucas will be allowed to raise the funding, then locked in a dark room somewhere until the movies are in the cinemas?
Oh, and make all the movies at the same time, like LoTR.
And bring in Peter Jackson to direct.
Hell, just make Lord of the Rings with lightsabers, it’s what most of us want to see.
These were things that I honestly thought Lucas would do-
Not name Dooku, Darth Tyrannus. Have him clearly be Palpy’s apprentice but not yet given a sith name. And the movies would have a lot more with Dooku. (No Grievous taking up screen time)
Have Anakin pique Palpy’s interest as possibly a new apprentice.
The end of Epi.3 is Dooku, Obi-wan and Anakin in a threeway lightsaber battle on the lava planet. Dooku and Anakin both fall in the lava or whatever. Obi-wan leaves. Palpy arrives and fishes one of them out of the hot soup. Last scene is Darth Vader joining Palpy and being given a Sith name. So we don’t ‘know’ if it was Dooku or Anakin fished out and repaired. And since Vader is tall figure like Dooku maybe there’d be some misdirection there and when Vader reveals he is Luke’s father it might actually come as a surprise …to the futue generations who watch the movie of course.
I thought we’d see Boba Fett atleast once in Epi. 3. Like when the order to kill the Jedi comes through we’d see a Jedi defeat the clones who attack him and then Boba shows up and offs the guy.
I thought we’d get an actual scene of Qui-Gon ghost and not the horrible exposition by Yoda about “the secret of immortality”
I don’t know if this is a better choice but I thought for sure Anakin wouldn’t be the one that kills the younglings. I imagined the scene as a bunch of platoons of clones march into the temple and you hear the sounds of fighting and then you see only a few clones walk out and say something like “The temple’s been cleared.”
I thought Padme would live actually and just be in exile.
I hate Star Wars, but if I could make one change, it would be that Luke dies in the first one. I might hate it a little less then.
Oh, prequels. Sorry. Okay. Everyone dies one minute into the first one.
On second thought, I apologize. I really do try not to piss on people’s parades here. I just crack under the pressure of living in a Star Wars world sometimes. Forgive me if you can, and have fun. I’m sure you hate something I like, too. I like some really dumb stuff, so I’m positive. 
I see a more radical reimaging.
The first movie starts in the middle of the Clone War. For a long time, one of the member planets of the Republic (“the Clone Planet”) has used clones for dangerous labor, medical experimentation, etc. They’re “worth less than droids”, and have no rights whatsoever…they’re considered “real” people, and are the property of their genetic donors. However, the Republic as a whole doesn’t know this. The Clone Planet has put out enough propaganda that everyone thinks the clones are treated well. So the clones revolt. The Republic, which relies on that planet for a valuable natural resource found almost nowhere else in the galaxy, sends an army to put it down. The army to put down the clones is commanded by Obi Wan Kenobi, Jedi Knight. One of the fighter pilots, the best in his squadron is a young (late teens, early 20s) man named Anakin Skywalker. Skywalker saves Kenobi’s life, and they become friends. The war ends, and the surving clones are executed, over the objection of Republican Senator Palpatine, appeals for leniency. Palpatine has the nickname “the only honest Senator”, with a reputation of constantly fighting for reforms and against the corruption that is endemic in the Senate.
Meanwhile, Kenobi realizes that Skywalker has the potential to become a great Jedi, and trains him in the Force (maybe in secret?), over the objections of the Jedi Council, who feel that Skywalker is too old and too impulsive to be trained. As his training finishes, Anakin and Obi-Wan come across important documents proving that the Senate Chancellor and that the rest of the government was in cahoots with the leadership of the Clone Planet…in exhange for bribes from the leaders of the Clone Planet, the leaders of the Senate have helped cover up exactly how horriffic the treatment of the clones was. That’s why the Senate leadership had the remaining clones kllled, so the abuse of them would stay secret. Kenobi wants this information taken to the Jedi Council, but Anakin isn’t convinced that it’ll do any good…he thinks the Jedi Council is so concerned with order and stability that they’ll cover it up. Anakin takes the info to Senator Palpatine, who makes it public. Because of the people’s outrage over the scandal, the Senate leadership resigns, and Palpatine is made new chancellor.
So that’s the first movie…want to hear about the other two? Or is this too “dark” for Star Wars?
Yes.
No. In fact, I’m going to build a time machine, go back in time and replace George Lucas’s brain with yours.
This is predicated on the belief that George Lucas has a brain. I am reasonably confident that should you crack his skull open, you will find a lot of half-chewed styrofoam peanuts, a copy of “The Hero With a Thousand Faces” (badly water-damaged) and a tiny plastic Ewok action figure dating from 1976.
I recommend that the Clonetroopers of the Old Republic be replaced by Wienerdogs.
Wienerdogs with lasers!
…What?
Ixnay on the orcefay ightninglay. In Return of the Jedi it came as a godawful shock to realize that the Emperor knew a secret so deadly that even the best lightsabreur in the galaxy was a toy in his hands. In the prequels, even a two-bit villain can toss the stuff around, and not only that, but the asskickingest of the Jedi know how to counter it.
Hmmm, I don’t remember it being used but once in I,II, and III, and that at a tremendous cost to the body. Heck, it means the final fight scene in RotJ meant even more because now you understood that the Emperor was willing to die from overly taxing his innder Force reserve if it only meant he could take his adversaries down with him.
If I’m reading you right, you’re forgetting that Dooku comfortably manifests the stuff as a routine tactic.
Cut back on the CGI, or use it more subtly, or just make it look a bit more realistic; I’m thinking things like the battle droids, some of the shots of Threepio and Artoo and… oh… Jar Jar Binks. And thus maintain the style apparent in episodes 4-6.
Yes, please. I’m by no means a Star Wars fan but I really like your ideas.
I, too, am eager to hear Captain Amazing’s Episodes II and III.
Implied in that synopsis, as well in some other comments, is that the movies should center on Obi-Wan as the main hero, with Anakin as his mentee and second-in-command. The “relationship” part of the movie is mostly between these two as their friendship develops (and, tragically, fails). This is somewhat analagous to the Luke/Han friendship, but also carries poignant tones of the original Obi-Wan/Luke relationship in Episode IV.
Therefore, the relationship between Padme and Anakin should be little more than a sub-plot. Certainly the failure of their relationship can be a contributing factor in Anakin’s fall, but should not be the main reason for it.
When we meet Anakin during the Clone Wars, he and Padme are lovers. They are not married, but have been together for a long time. Forget the whole “Jedi are forbidden to love” bullshit. That’s pointless. Padme is a senator, one of the “good” ones. Their relationship is very strong. But as the Clone Wars and political strife heats up in the Senate, they come to discover that they are on opposite sides of the conflict. This, along with Anakin’s fall to the Dark Side, begins to painfully destroy their relationship. As a result, she grows closer to Bail Organa, who is her strongest ally in the Senate.
As the love/political triangle heats up, Padme splits with Anakin. Shortly thereafter, at the end of Episode II, she discovers that she’s pregnant. She conceals the pregnancy from Anakin. The fatherhood of Padme’s child is left ambiguous, so the audience debates this between Episodes II and III (presuming they haven’t seen Episodes IV-VI, of course).
At the end of Episode III, Padme gives birth to the twins in secret, with Bail, Yoda, and Obi-Wan in attendance. Bail believes he is the father, and Padme doesn’t discourage him. But she finally admits to Obi-Wan in private that the father is Anakin, and she fears for the safety of her children. Along with Obi-Wan and Yoda, she comes to the painful decision that the twins must be split. They tell Bail that the son died, and Obi-Wan sneaks off to Tatooine with Luke. Bail and Padme escape to Alderaan with Leia, who Bail believes is his daughter.
I also want to second Mangetout’s point about making the environments look more realistic. I thought the whole of Epidose III looked like Barbie’s Jedi Dream House: everything smooth and plastic, with not a crumb or scuff anywhere. Come on! The fun of the OT was that it looked lived-in.
Another thing: Owen and Beru need to be stronger figures, at least so that Obi-Wan knows them and feels confident leaving Luke with them.
The back-story that Anakin reveals to Obi-Wan as they get to know each other: Anakin grew up - NOT on Tatooine - with his older brother, Owen, as a surrogate father figure when their parents died tragically. Owen vehemently opposed Anakin’s joining the military, arguing that their family had seen enough death and destruction. They parted on bad terms and haven’t spoken in years.
At some point during the trilogy, perhaps as Anakin is slipping to the Dark Side, Obi-Wan tracks down Owen, who - unknown to Anakin - has moved to Tatooine to set up a farm, and married Beru. Owen is gruff with Obi-Wan, blaming “his kind” for luring Anakin away into the world of danger and conflict. Beru tries to soften him up, and encourages him to help Obi-Wan, in hopes that Anakin can be saved. Owen admits that after losing both parents, he couldn’t stand the thought of losing Anakin. Later, Obi-Wan brings the “orphaned” Luke to Owen and Beru. Owen, devastated at the loss of his brother, says he will take in the boy, but he is going to be a farmer, not a warrior. Obi-Wan says he pledged to watch over him. Owen says he’d better do it from a distance and not interfere in their lives.
This takes care of the whole problem with Luke growing up on Tatooine: Anakin has never been there, so it’s not a significant place to him.
I’m so sorry, Lord Evil, we’re out of wienerdogs. How about ill-tempered chihuahuas?
I want to thank everyone for their praise regarding my plot synopsis of a revised Episode 1. So, here’s a shot at the plot of Episode 2.
Episode 2-The Fall of the Republic
It’s been several years since the events of Episode 1. Palpatine has been a remarkably effective and popular Chancellor, over a good deal of senatorial opposition, as well as some opposition in the press. He’s managed to streamline a lot of the bureaucracy. His most notable successes have been in the judicial and law enforcement system. Corruption has largely been rooted out of the police system, and they’re capturing more criminals, trials have been sped up, and judges are finally imposing strict sentences. He’s created a independent investigative agency that reports to him alone, the Republic Security Bureau, which has plenary powers and is dedicated to wiping out corruption. In fact, the RSB has discovered that the reason that a number of the senators and the opposition press are so hostile to him is because they themselves were corrupt. Of course, they’ve been arrested by the RSB and imprisoned, or, in rare cases, where their crimes were so bad, executed. The Chancellor is also facing criticism from the Jedi Order, who are overly concerned that the Chancellor’s reforms may be dangerous, and who are concerned about the “rights” of the citizens. “Balderdash”, the Chancellor says, “Honest people have nothing to fear from these changes. Only the corrupt, the criminal.” But still, the Jedi block him in some of the changes he wants to make.
Meanwhile, Anakin is a Jedi, and is extremely unhappy. In the past, Anakin was always stronger, faster, smarter, and better at things than everyone else. This was due in large part to Anakin’s instinctual use of the force. Now he’s surrounded by people, many of whom are younger than he is, who are better than he is. All of his advantages are gone, and now he’s the “slow one”. What’s more, using his force powers are difficult for him. Anakin was always used to using his innate force powers in times of stress, when he was excited, frightened, or angry, and even now as a Jedi, when he is excited, frightened, angry, he’s better at it. Obi-Wan’s teachings; that he must try to banish his emotions, that he must use the force from a place of peace and inner calmness comes hard to him. All Obi-Wan can counsel him is to be patient; that Jedi mastery will come in time.
Seeing that Anakin is unhappy, Obi-Wan knows he has to do something. Even though Jedi are forbidden to marry or have children, Obi-Wan has a brother and sister he’s close to, and knowing that Anakin has no real family, Obi-Wan makes him almost a member of their family. So Anakin meets Obi-Wan’s brother Owen and sister Jayla. They become friends, and welcome him into their family. For his part, Anakin considers Jayla the most beautiful woman in the world, and he wants her desperatately. He always finds ways to be close to her, to be alone with her. Meanwhile, Anakin, as part of his duties as a young Jedi Knight, is assigned to guard the Chancellor. Anakin is overwhelmed by his charm and his honestly, and they have long talks about what the Jedi believe. The Chancellor asks intelligent questions about Jedi belief. “Is it true”, he asks, “that the Jedi seek to purge themselves of all emotion? That they distrust it?” “How different that is from the world of politics!”, the Chancellor exclaims. He expresses his opinion that the only way to live is to get excited about things, you plan to get them, and you take them.
After a number of such conversations, Anakin feels ready. He goes to Jayla, and he expresses his love for her, and asks her, begs her to marry him and be his wife. She’s stunned. She gently explains to him that she considers him a brother, not a lover, and that besides, he’s sworn an oath of celibacy as part of the Jedi Knighthood. The rage in Anakin heightens. How dare she turn him down?! That bitch! No, no, it’s not her fault, it’s the Jedi’s fault! She would accept him if not for his vows! No, it’s not even that. It’s Obi-Wan’s fault! Yes, yes! He was happy! He liked being a pilot! He liked being the best! And then that bastard Obi-Wan took all that from him! He convinced him to leave all that and become a Jedi! To become a member of those dried up warrior monks, for the rest of his life! Where he’ll always be inferior to children younger than him! And then, Obi-Wan introduces him to his sister, knowing that she’s the most beautiful woman Anakin has ever seen! Knowing that Anakin would do anything just to have her! And knowing, because of those damn vows, he can never take her. Overwhemed with hatred, he grabs her and violently rapes her. Then he flees.
He flees to the one man who understands him, the Chancellor. He’s ready, he tells Palpatine, ready to reveal to the RSB and the Galaxy, just how perverted and corrupt the Jedi Knights are. Anakin makes all sorts of charges…that the Jedi are are a seperate independent army working against the interests of the Republic, that they abuse the young children in their care, that they’re plotting to take over, that they want to kill the Chancellor. These are all inventions, of course, but Anakin doesn’t care. He wants revenge against all the people who ruined his life. And, the RSB agents keep writing the accusations down, so he keeps talking.
Finally, the RSB, spurred by Anakin’s accusations, are able to investigate the Jedi, and they find that all of this is true. The Jedi are guilty of all the things that Anakin accused them of, and more besides…terrible, and disgusting things. Saddened by the reports, the Chancellor reluctantly outlaws the Jedi, and the army storms the Jedi Temple, and arrests all the Jedi in the temple. They’re put on trial, confess their guilt, and are executed A few aren’t in the temple, among them, Obi-Wan. Obi-wan and Owen, after finding out what Anakin did to their sister, desperately try to find a place to hide her, fearful that Anakin will track her down and do something even worse to her. Their fear is exacerbated when they realize that she’s pregnant.
The Jedi dead or scattered, the Chancellor is able to push through further reforms. With the support of the people, he declares himself Emperor, and a Senate cowed by the fall of the Jedi, and fearful of the mob, agree. The new Emperor gives his first command to his newest, most loyal follower, “Find those Jedi who have escaped, and crush them. I want them dead.” Anakin Skywalker, who has personal reasons to want the Jedi dead, especially one in particular, is eager to obey his new master, and begin his new mission.
There’s Episode 2.
You offer me HAIRLESS GENETIC FREAKS!?
You DARE?!
<SOUND OF 1920’s STYLE DEATH RAY>
Thus perish all who offer the Lord Of Evil quivvering masses of canine goosebumps!
I…have spoken.
Hm. Now this IS too dark for Star Wars. Mainly, I’m having a very hard time with Luke and Leia being the product of rape. First, we have to stay true to the spirit of the films as being accessible to adults and kids. This is strictly R-rated material here.
And it also means that there’s no way you’d convince the audience that Anakin was worth redeeming. Force-choking your underlings to death - OK. Raping someone? Sorry, no. That makes invalid any notion that Anakin ever “loved” Jayla, or that he could later have some sort of fatherly bond with Luke. He’s just a twisted psychopath who is better off dead. Once Vader chucks Palpatine into the pit, all you would want Luke to do is chop his head clean off with his lightsaber. And maybe stomp on the body a bit, too.
I like my version of the love story better. 